Hi.
This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.
This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.
All in Film Reviews
Star Trek Directed by: J.J. Abrams Cast: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Eric Bana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Bruce Greenwood, Leonard Nimoy Running Time: 2 hrs. 5 mins. Rating: PG-13 Release Date: May 8, 2009
Plot: This is the voyage of the starship USS Enterprise, with a twist. A hell-bent Romulan (Bana) shifts time and is out to destroy Spock (Quinto, Nimoy). A black hole twists the past, but Kirk (Pine) and the rest of the starfleet soldiers are brought together on the Enterprise to defend Vulcan and Earth from a massive, destructive ship.
Who’s It For? Sci-Fi fans who never gave Star Trek a chance, fans of the classic series willing to see new actors in the iconic roles, and those who just love blockbusters ... yeah, put those three groups
Next Day Air Directed by: Benny Boom Cast: Donald Faison, Mike Epps, Cisco Reyes, Mos Def Time: 1 hr, 30 minutes Rating: R
Plot: An unthinkably outlandish tale about a young postal worker whose life is turned upside down when one procedural mistake lands him in the middle of an underground war between would-be drug dealers, oddly-named thugs, and Mexican drug lords so intimidating it nearly trumps their very existence. A comical take on how being down on your luck doesn’t nearly measure up to having a very large price on your perpetually “altered” head.
Who’s It For?: TV fans will be lured into this because of Faison’s (Turk on "Scrubs") inclusion. Since he broke onto the big screen in Clueless his movie career has left much to be desired. Now a TV star, his return
A Wink and a Smile Directed by: Deirdre Allen Timmons Cast: Miss Indigo Blue Running Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: Unrated Release date: May 8, 2009
Plot: A documentary following Miss Indigo Blue's Academy of Burlesque's students. The film intersperses the student's stories with performances by professional burlesque dancers in Seattle and commentary by Blue.
Who’s It For? If you're into burlesque you'll probably appreciate learning more. If not, it's definitely interesting anyway. Iif you like boobs, you'll love it.
Expectations: I didn't get burlesque, it just seemed like stripping with fancy costumes. So I wasn't really excited about this film.
SCORECARD (0-10)
Actors:
Miss Indigo Blue as herself: Blue is a performer, which can be good or bad in a documentary. I'm going with bad for this one. She's clearly a good
Quickcard Review Everlasting Moments
Directed by: Jan Troell Cast: Maria Heiskanen, Mikael Persbrandt, Jesper Christensen Running Time: 2 hrs 10 mins Rating: Unrated Release Date: May 1, 2009
Plot: A housewife in early 20th century Sweden endures a difficult marriage. She only finds peace through photography and her friendship with a local photographer.
Who’s It For? Fans of family melodramas, period dramas and foreign films. If you like all three, you're all set.
Expectations: Didn't know anything about this before I saw it.
OVERALL
Maria Larsson (Heiskanen) is married to Sigfrid, a coarse, former soldier prone to drink. When he goes on a bender, he gets violent. She refuses to leave him, despite her misery, instead turing to photography for solace. The title refers to her photos though they're more a subplot than anything else. That's pretty much it. The film
X-Men Origins: Wolverine Directed by: Gavin Hood Cast: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, Will i Am, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Kitsch Time: 2 hrs, 2 minutes Rating: PG-13 Release Date: May 1, 2009
Plot: After the death of his girlfriend, Wolverine (Jackman) is hell bent on revenge, which brings him face to face with his life long friend, Sabertooth (Schreiber). But before they battle, he's brought into the mutant Weapon X program.
Who’s It For?: X-Men is huge, so this will draw a crowd. But here's the thing, if you're fine with Spider-Man 3, or X-Men United ... then you'll see anything with super powers and be happy. But don't go expecting more with this film.
Expectations: 20th Century Fox acted like the world came to an end when a leaked, almost finished copy of Wolverine
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past Directed by: Mark Waters Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG-13 Release Date: May 1, 2009
Plot: A successful photographer (McConaughey) who scrooges women for a hobby is visited by three ... Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
Who’s It For? The dating crowd - particularly those who share the on-screen ages of Garner and McConaughey. Of course, this really just means anyone not seeing X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Expectations: The Matthew McConaughey + romantic comedy formula was recently cracked by a popular humor blog that offered some frighteningly plausible ideas. Considering McConaughey's track record, it was expected for him to play some slimy and smiley womanizer who gets "put in his place" by a female (Garner) aware of his smooth-talking ... but not idiotic enough to
Lymelife Directed by: Derick Martini Cast: Alec Baldwin, Rory Culkin, Jill Hennessy, Emma Roberts Time: 1 hr, 49 minutes Rating: PG-13 Release Date: May 1, 2009 (limited)
Plot: In late-1970’s Long Island, 15-year-old Scott Bartlett (Culkin) finds that he’s growing up amidst a much fishier situation than his well-to-do father (Baldwin) would insist. In hopes to shield her son from a recent outbreak of Lyme disease, Scott’s mother doesn’t allow Scott to leave the house without applying the necessary amount of masking tape to his clothing. This is a hilarious sight, but our first encounter with next-door-neighbor Charlie [Timothy Hutton] that we find out the disease’s wrath (amongst a slew of other situations in this film) may have more crippling effects than it seems.
Who’s It For?: Fans of films that systematically bash the American dream to
Sugar Directed by: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck Cast: Algenis Perez Soto, Andre Holland, Ellary Porterfield, Rayniel Rufino Running Time: 2 hrs Rating: R Release Date: May 1, 2009 (limited)
Plot: This is the story of a young Dominican whose lifelong dream to play in the Major Leagues lands him on a seemingly smooth path to realizing his destiny. There proves to be more than perfecting the knuckle-curve in landing a spot on a Big League roster as an array of pitfalls routinely bludgeons his attempts to achieve the greatness he so aspires to realize. A coming-of-age story that dabbles in the temptations young people come across upon their difficult paths to greatness.
Who’s It For?: Baseball fans young and old. This is a slick reminder that the third world not only wields a superior slew of
Battle for Terra Directed by: Aristomenis Tsirbas Cast: (voices) Evan Rachel Wood, Luke Wilson, Brian Cox, David Cross Running Time: 1 hr 25 mins Rating: PG Release Date: May 1, 2009
Plot: Following the destruction of Earth and other human-colonized planets, the remaining humans search space for a new place to settle. When the humans attack Terra, a peaceful alien planet, a young Terrian (Wood) and a human pilot (Wilson) try to end the war.
Who’s It For? If you appreciate a good score and enjoy contemplating the future of the human race, check this one out. Surprisingly this film isn't for the the little ones, there's just too much violence for a standard kid flick.
Expectations: Since this is a full-length version of the 2003 award-wining, seven-minute short film by the same director, I'm expecting good things
Fighting Directed by: Dito Montiel Cast: Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, Zulay Henao Running Time: (approx time, such as 1 hr 35 mins, 2 hrs 15 mins) Rating: PG-13 Release Date: April 24, 2009
Plot: A young man (Tatum), with the guidance of a street-scheme organizer (Howard), makes his way into the underground sport of all-out fighting.
Who’s It For? With its story about Fighting against the odds, this movie speaks mostly for teens - whether they are curious to see Tatum without his shirt off (again), or their interest is in watching him take part in human cock fights.
Expectations: Co-writer/director Dito Montiel made it onto the "indie" film scene with his personal debut A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints. This film, mostly from the trailer, looked like a departure away from Saints' gritty realism of NYC towards
The Soloist Directed by: Joe Wright Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Jamie Foxx, Catherine Keener Running Time: 1 hr. 50 mins. Rating: PG-13
Plot: It's an unlikely duo as a Los Angeles Times columnist (Downey Jr.) goes looking for a story and connects deeply to his subject, a Julliard trained musician (Foxx), who is homeless.
Who’s It For? The younger crowd who is now addicted to Downey thanks to Iron Man, might not be ready for this one. It's a slower pace, with side notes about the homeless problem in L.A. and the death of newspapers.
Expectations: I had one concern ... this movie was supposed to come out last year in December. It was Oscar bait. So what happened? Otherwise, on paper, this movie should work well.
SCORECARD (0-10)
Actors: Robert Downey Jr. as Steve Lopez: What a relief. Downey
Quickcard Review Disney's Earth
Directed by: Alastair Fothergill, Mark Linfield Running Time: 1 hr 35 mins Rating: G
Plot: The first documentary from Disney Nature, shows the life of animals on our planet for one year, with the focus on polar bears, elephants and whales.
Who’s It For? You would think this is a film to held get your kids excited about the environment, but that's a stretch. It's really for people too lazy to go out and rent the 11-part series from Discovery's "Planet Earth" 11-part series.
Expectations: Following three animal families over the course of the year, with Disney's magic tough, narrated by James Earl Jones ... what's not to like there?
OVERALL
It just feels like cheating. This is the exact footage used in the "Planet Earth" series. They leave that information out during the previews
Crank: High Voltage Directed by: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor Cast: Jaosn Statham, Amy Smart, Ling Bai, Dwight Yokam, David Carridane, Corey Haim Running Time: 1 hr 25 mins Rating: R
Plot: Someone has stolen Chev Chelios' (Statham) heart, in this continuation of the Crank series. So he needs to find it, right? Right.
Who's it For? Mindless action speed demons. This movie is fast and furious with no sign of Paul Walker. There's plenty of others with bad acting abilities though, so the man's not missed.
Expectations: The first one didn't hit me like it should have. I was annoyed. Maybe it was the SCS (shaky camera syndrome) where you couldn't avoid getting vomitous. Or perhaps it was the sex scene in front of the school bus that rubbed me the wrong way.
SCORECARD (0-10)
Actors: Jason Statham as Chev
State of Play Directed by: Kevin Macdonald Cast: Russell Crowe, Rachel McAdams, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren Running Time: 2 hrs 10 mins Rating: PG-13
Plot: The mysterious death of a capital hill research assistant unfolds into political scandal after congressman Stephen Collins (Affleck) admits he was having an affair with her. Meanwhile seasoned Washington Globe reporter Cal McAffrey (Crowe), Collins' old college roommate, can't seem decide whether his strained friendship with the troubled congressman is worth not cashing in on his exclusive access to the central source in the biggest story of the year. But the more McAffrey, along with his spitfire assistant Della Frye (McAdams), investigates the death of the assistant, the closer he's led to PointCorp, one of the nations largest private arms dealers, which is about to sign a multi-billion-dollar government contract