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This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

Obsessed

Obsessed Directed by: Steve Shill Cast: Idris Elba, Beyonce Knowles, Ali Larter Running Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: A woman (Larter) becomes dangerously Obsessed with Derek, (Elba), her boss. Not amused by any of this is Derek's wife, Sharon (Knowles).

Who’s It For? Beyonce fans. Whether the devotees will return is another question, as even the most Obsessed of her fans might find this to be a bit of a chore.

Expectations: Judging from the synopsis, one can only expect borderline adultery and the cat fight that is likely to follow.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Idris Elba as Derek Charles: Though we'd never know it from movies like Prom Night, Elba is a more than decent actor. He does a fine job with this role, and more importantly uses it to showcase his image as the handsome dream guy we all wish we had married. His character isn't given as much credit, as he becomes a martyr to the idea of dishonesty, plagued by his poor decision to follow two marital guidelines - trust your spouse, and tell the truth. Score: 6

Beyonce Knowles as Sharon Charles: It seems that Beyonce got mo' gruff as an executive producer than she does an actress. Compared to her protective mother character of Sharon, one can only imagine her (Sasha) fierceness in the board room, where people aren't touching her on-screen kid, but her paycheck. To her credit, she can handle a role that only has one tone, but wasn't she nominated for a Golden Globe once? Score: 4

Ali Larter as Lisa: "Crazy" is hard to play, especially when your character's consistent and persistent awkward moments make things unnecessarily messy (even for a film based on relationship disasters). With her skinny legs and lack of body fat, she's a walking Ticonderoga. But certainly not as sharp. Score: 3

Talking: About a good quarter of Obsessed is spent watching Beyonce having a sass overload. She threatens her female enemy with lines like "you think you're crazy? I'll show you crazy!" Score: 2

Sights: The budget must've gone entirely into Idris Elba's wardrobe, as he looks as shiny as the interiors of his office building. Production design triumphs here. There's also an unusual amount of establishing shots of what looks like the same office building, as if the director ran out of ideas how to connect scenes that happen in different locations. Score: 3

Sounds: As the final frame of the film freezes on Beyonce's face, an original song from the singer, "Smash Into You," starts playing. It's actually pretty catchy. Were it not for its conceited placement, it might have been even better. Score: 6

PLOT SPOILERS

Best Scene: Meow! Hiss! "I'll drag your skinny ass all over the carpet!" Though longer than expected, the climactic and ever so anticipated girl fight isn't as awesomely bad as one would hope.

Ending: Beyonce shows her "crazy," alright.

Questions: Is this movie an allegory for honesty?

Rewatchability: The real juice of this movie comes at the end, but re-excavating through the trash of Obsessed to get to that point isn't really worth it.

OVERALL

Sitting through a movie that ultimately ends with Beyonce Knowles basically calling her cat-fight combatant a "skinny white b*tch" is much more laborious than it sounds. Obsessed drags for two acts, building up its "tension" in awkward moments of "temptation." Larter and Elba play dumb to each other, making matters worse, until The Beyonce Knowles Show kicks in 30 minutes before the film ends, offering a final showcase of female fury that barely would make for a good watch on Youtube.

Apparently, the film was originally entitled "Oh No She Didn't," which would have assisted Obsessed in admitting its tastelessness, but it still wouldn't have warned against the story's overall brain-draining boredom. Watching Beyonce Knowles and Ali Larter come crashing through a ceiling can only do so much.

Final Score: 3/10

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