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This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

9 Directed by: Shane Acker Cast: Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer Running Time: 1 hr 15 Rating: PG 13

COMPLETE 9 COVERAGE Chris De Salvo and Morrow McLaughlin battle it out in HE SAID/SHE SAID … 9 De Salvo’s scorecard review of 9 (3/10) McLaughlin’s scorecard review of (9/10)

Plot: In the post-apocalypse, all life has been decimated by an army of robots. The last remnants of humanity are a group of hodge-podge, mechanical dolls that were created by a scientist before his death.

Who’s It For? This movie is for adults and adults only. Precocious (notice I said precocious and not spooky and desensitized) kids might be able to stomach all the violence and relentless peril, but it’s a bad, bad idea. Nightmares, people, seriously.

Expectations: I hoped for something good and I was more than rewarded.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Elijah Wood as #9: You know what impresses me the most about voice talent? It’s not the basic dialogue, because that’s just fundamental acting and if you can’t do that much, take your hat and leave. It’s when the animated characters fall down holes, bump into things, or have knee-jerk reactions and the actors convey that so perfectly, it truly brings these little beings to life. Elijah Wood is wonderful as #9. He does such a great job and he’s so perfect as the stranger meant to save them all that it makes me like him even more. Score: 10

John C. Reilly as #5: I love John C. Reilly in everything he does. I love his doughy face and sparkly eyes and raspy, smokers’ voice. #5 was my favorite of all the characters and John C. Reilly is one of my favorite actors. But, Reilly wasn’t as spot-on with all the little things compared to Wood and therefore… Score: 8

Jennifer Connelly as #7: Holy crap, that’s Jennifer Connelly! Sweet, morosely beautiful, Connelly as the kick-butt, take no guff, warrior wasteland chick—can that be any cooler? She was so darned good, that I spent most of the movie mistaking her for Zooey Deschanel—quirky and tough. Plus, I wouldn’t have guessed Connelly had it in her for this type of role. Score: 9

Christopher Plummer as #1: #1 is the old guy, stuck in his old guy ways, and more focused on staying alive than tackling the actual problem. It makes sense, but he’s much more of a caricature than everyone else. Score: 7

Talking: The dialogue is simple and realistic, which is perfect for the characters and the setting. There’s no unnecessary grandstanding or lectures, and each character sounds very distinct and well-worn. The voice talent in 9 is really well done. My favorite line is also from my favorite character, the one-eyed, timid #5 (Reilly): “You’re like #2. He always forgets to remember to be afraid.” Score: 10

Sights: This movie is bleak and gorgeous, and I do mean drop-dead stunning. I could watch it again on mute just to take it all in. And the bad guys—wow! The main machine isn’t as impressive because it looks a little bit like an evil version of the wacky robot from The Flight of the Navigator. What it does is take spare parts and build the worst, most nightmarish mechanical monsters you’ve ever seen. Wonderfully, monstrously, creepy. Score: 10

Sounds: The score melds perfectly with the action to give you the maximum feeling of anxious, suspenseful discomfort. When the music growls at you, it travels up your spine. When it coincides with a beloved character being carried off by an evil, red-eyed, mechanical cat, all together it makes you scream out loud. So, why not a perfect score? Four words: “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” It’s a lovely song, but dramatically, it’s forever claimed by Australia (and obviously, The Wizard of Oz, but it’s not as obnoxious in its home movie). Score: 8

PLOT SPOILERS

Best Scene: I typically pick a scene that made me smile or laugh, but my best scene in 9 was horrible and heart-breaking. I wouldn’t want to spare anyone else that sort of pain, so I’ll only say it involves #2 (Martin Landau).

Ending: Most post-apocalyptic movies try to end on a hopeful note, and 9 is no exception—but I still left the theater with a deep feeling of loss.

Questions: Can you end on a hopeful note when the dolls have no clear means of reproduction?

Rewatchability: I would absolutely see this movie a second, and maybe even a third time.

OVERALL

I absolutely loved this movie. If it’s your kind of film, you’ll spend the entire time staring, unblinkingly at something so visually arresting and (surprisingly, at times) precious; that you will emerge from it feeling like it was absolutely time well spent. I was so disappointed that my boyfriend couldn’t see it with me, so we will likely pay for the joy of seeing it again. I loved, loved, loved it.

9 has is a perfect combination of humanity and horror wrapped up in the dusty remnants of a post-apocalyptic world. The animation is phenomenal, the sights are gorgeous, and the characters are memorable and dear--so much so, that I grieved the loss of a character that only had a few minutes of screen time.

With a busted knee and borrowed crutches, I hobbled five city blocks to catch this movie. Now that I've seen it, I'd happily hobble back to see it again, torn ACL be darned.

Final Score: 9/10

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