ZombielandDirected by: Ruben Fleischer Cast: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin Running Time: 1 hr 25 min Rating: R
Plot: An old burger at a Gas n’ Gulp gradually turns the entire world population into either zombies or zombie chow. Meet the only four survivors to this gruesome apocalypse: Columbus (Eisenberg), Tallahassee (Harrelson), Wichita (Stone), and Little Rock (Breslin).
Who’s It For? Horror fans unite! WOOOOO!
Expectations: A tad high. Between the rockin’ trailer and Harrelson as a top zombie-killer, I honestly expected this to be some sort of second coming of horror.
SCORECARD (0-10)
Actors: Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee: Give me a moment to clean the drool off my keyboard…there, better. Harrelson is the greatest bad-ass, zombie murdering, Twinkie seeking, Southern drawling, snake skin coat wearing…hold on, sorry; more drool. Can this character be any cooler? The answer is a resounding hell no. Harrelson rocks this roll with joy and pizzazz. Should you be overjoyed when Tallahassee backs over a zombie head for good measure, and it pops like a zit? Probably not, but you will be anyway. So much fun! Score: 10
Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus: Eisenberg is the freakishly sensitive, old fashioned romantic, Warcraft nerd who has somehow managed to survive the zombie apocalypse by adhering to a strict set of personal rules. The rules are hysterical in their strait-laced pragmatism (“Always wear your seatbelt,” “Limber up”) and Columbus is the perfect, tidy complement to Tallahassee’s wild-eyed cowboy. Against all odds, Columbus is the only character who still has faith in humanity and a willingness to trust other people, and Eisenberg portrays this with relative ease. Score: 9
Emma Stone as Wichita: Wichita survives with her little sister, Little Rock (Breslin), in tow, because she was a con artist pre-zombieland. She’s smart, she’s practical, and she’s tough. Sure, the character makes some decisions near the end of the film that don’t quite mesh with who she’s been all along—turning on all the lights in the amusement park? Really? Why not just advertise “Free Meal”?—but it’s forgivable. Stone is fun to watch because she somehow manages a weird blend of girl-next-door and danger, and she keeps up with Harrelson and Eisenberg. Right on! Score: 9
Abigail Breslin as Little Rock: Our little Abigail is growing up…not so much that it doesn’t give us thrills of joy when she blasts a hole in the ceiling just to show Tallahassee that she’s capable of removing his head, but still. Breslin is always our little sweetheart, except this time she has a shotgun. If it sounds totally bitchin,’ that’s because it is. Drop everything and go see this movie. Score: 9
Talking: The writing is fantastic and funny. There are so many choice lines—nothing that could seep into everyday vernacular, except maybe “Nut up or shut up”—that it’s one big smorgasbord of strong, quick writing. The screenwriters, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, obviously adore the hybrid genre of horror/humor, which tends to be the red-headed stepchild of mainstream horror. It is written with joy and love and it comes across as not only an homage to zombie gore, but a love-letter to zombie fans everywhere. Score: 9
Sights: The movie puts a lot of love and effort into the special effects, and the result is nothing short of spectacular. I never thought that watching a zombie stripper barfing up black zombie vomit in slow-motion could ever be done that creatively, but the whole opening sequence is phenomenal. The way this movie is edited is one of the slickest, most original I’ve seen in a long time and if you can stomach the gore, it is well worth the price of admission all by itself. Score: 10
Sounds: The soundtrack is a playful blend of everything from heavy metal to classical—it’s as eclectic and unique as everything else in Zombieland. When Harrelson is jamming out to the Ghostbusters theme song, I may have actually died and gone to heaven. Score: 10
PLOT SPOILERS
Best Scene: The flashback of Tallahassee and his “puppy”; the climax, where Tallahassee takes on fifty zombies all by himself; the scene that demonstrates why Columbus values strong cardio; so many.
Ending: As expected, but perfect nonetheless.
Questions: What took so long?
Rewatchability: I could’ve sat through it a second time right off the bat.
OVERALL I’m going to badly mix my metaphors here, but if a horror movie could be like a group of dolphins frolicking together happily, it’s Zombieland. The movie is an hour and twenty-five minutes of bouncy, zombie, survival horror joy. The movie loves its characters and its subject matter and that translates into an incredibly enjoyable movie experience. Was I a bit spoiled at the sneak peak? Well, yes. There was a whole row of zombies sitting behind me, including one gigantic, and bloody zombie clown. The whole theater hung on every word and cheered and enjoyed a general camaraderie you don’t usually get with your average movie-going audience. When the two bone heads across the way started yapping during a crucial scene, there was a chorus of angry “SSSSHHHHHH” and one guy yelling, “Shut up over there!” We, the audience (bone heads notwithstanding), were locked in. Zombieland not only sold us on the premise, but wined and dined us and took us home to mother. This is one of those rare times when you won’t mind giving your money to Hollywood, because the filmmakers did more than just try. They lovingly sculpted something artful and fun for the horror genre and they did so with their fans in mind. Bravo! Final Score: 9/10