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This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

My Soul to Take

Quickcard Review My Soul to Take

Directed by: Wes Craven Cast: Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Denzel Whitaker, Emily Meade Running Time: 1 hr 47 mins Rating: R Release Date: October 8, 2010

PLOT: A serial killer is thought to have died 16 years ago, and now seven kids who celebrate their 16th birthday on that very day are worried he's come back to life.

WHO'S IT FOR? Do you like train wrecks? And no, not the violent kind that scare the hell out of you. Wes Craven directed and wrote this film. Realizing that is the biggest scare My Soul to Take offers.

OVERALL

In the town of Riverton everyone knows everyone. There's the weird kid Bug (Thieriot), the angst ridden sidekick Alex (John Magaro), the blind kid Jerome (Whitaker), the jock Brandon (Nick Lashaway) and the "insanely mean for almost no reason" Fang (Emily Meade). Sure, there's a handful of other characters that the film tries to make us believe are important to this story. But nothing really matters. Seriously, this is a film where you think you need to pay attention, only to realize My Soul to Take has no idea what it is talking about. We follow Bug who I think might be mentally challenged, though the movie never really gets into it. There's a ritual these seven kids do every year to keep the Riverton Ripper from coming back and killing everyone (so the story goes). It's Bug's turn because everyone else has done it. Hang on, give that a second. Since these seven kids were 10-years-old they have been sneaking out at night, creating a puppet Ripper, chanting, and then one of them has to fake kill this thing. Finally the cops put an end to it, but then immediately wonder if that was the right thing, or if now they've allowed the Ripper to come back. Speaking of the Ripper ... high schoolers start dying at an incredibly fast rate. Only it's never scary. No matter how bad a slasher flick is, I jump at least two to three times. It never happened once. Normally the Ripper would walk up to a kid, stab them, and move on. The 3D is unforgivable and this film quickly moves to the top of the list of "Most Purposeless Use of 3D" beating out The Last Airbender and Clash of the Titans. There is not one attempt to use 3D technology for a scare. Even My Bloody Valentine had the sense to ham it up for the third dimension. So why not Craven? Remember that scene in the trailer where a hand comes out of the wall and onto Bug, who's in his bed? Not in the movie. There's also a completely unexplained moment where Bug and Alex mirror each others words and action. And if you're wondering if the dialogue saves it. Here's one line: "Wake up and smell the Starbucks." And here's another: "It's not OK for everybody to be killing each other all the time." That last line isn't meant to be a joke, but My Soul to Take turns out to be one for anyone who paid money (especially in 3D) to see it.

FINAL SCORE: 1/10

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