If you woke up this morning thinking, "Wow, I wonder what that some other guy has to say about my favorite movies of 2009," this list may or may not solve your problem. If you were also thinking, "Haha, what loser actually saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?" I have your answer. LET IT BE KNOWN, ALL: As of 1/01/10, I have not seen "important" movies like The Lovely Bones, The White Ribbon, The Messenger, Broken Embraces, It's Complicated, and Dance Flick.
Onto the list:
MOST HONORABLE ROLE FOR NICOLAS "THE CAGEMASTER" CAGE A mole named "Speckles" who was an actual mole within the G-Force in G-Force
THE BEST MOVING PICTURES ON THE SILVER SCREEN OF 09 (Subject to change, but in order) Up In The Air Up Inglourious Basterds A Serious Man
YEAH, THAT MOVIE WAS PRETTY TRUCKIN’ GREAT! (In no order) Nine Antichrist Sin Nombre I Love You, Man Pirate Radio The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
PERSONAL FAVORITES Observe and Report Funny People Rudo Y Cursi Gigante
HARDEST WORKER AWARD. YAY, GO YOU! Jim Cam'ron's Avatar
THAT MOVIE WAS A WHOLE LOT OF FUN! Sherlock Holmes The Men Who Stare At Goats Zombieland Bruno Dead Snow X-Men Origins: Wolverine Fast and Furious My Bloody Valentine Taken
BEST ATTEMPT AT ADAPTING OF AN UN-FILMABLE GRAPHIC NOVEL Watchmen
I ENJOYED THESE MOVIES, AND THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE Whatever Works Duplicity He’s Just Not That Into You Friday the 13th
BEST WORST MOVIE OF 2009 G.I JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA, THE FALL OF LOGIC
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
BEST CHICAGO FILM FESTIVAL MOVIE I CAUGHT Mary and Max
I SAW SOME GOOD SMART MOVIES! The September Issue In The Loop The Girlfriend Experience Fish Tank
PROMISING MOVIES CAN STILL BE DISAPPOINTING Invictus Public Enemies Year One The Soloist Terminator Salvation
A TAD DISAPPOINTING Bronson Chicago Overcoat
THESE WERE PRETTY BAD, BUT THEY TRIED, KIND OF 12 Rounds I Love You, Beth Cooper
REALLY QUITE AWFULLY TERRIBLE The Box The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard Old Dogs Dragonball: Evolution Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li The Final Destination Paul Blart: Mall Cop
I HOPE THEY SERVE POPCORN IN HELL I Hate Valentine’s Day My Life In Ruins - THE WORST!!! The Ugly Truth Saw VI Ghosts of Girlfriends Past I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS:
I REMEMBER LIKING IT, BUT I SAW IT SO LONG AGO I DON’T REMEMBER HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT IT (Tie) The Hurt Locker Departures
OVERRATED TO A POINT WHERE I QUESTION WHETHER PEOPLE REALLY UNDERSTAND CLICHES IN COMEDIES The Hangover
SO GOSHDAMN OVERRATED THAT I STILL FEEL A DISTANCE BETWEEN MYSELF AND THE FANBOY COMMUNITY District 9
I DIDN’T LIKE/LOVE THIS MOVIE, SO I MUST BE A BAD PERSON (Tie) Star Trek Precious
I LEFT THIS MOVIE AND DIDN'T FEEL A THING Fantastic Mr. Fox
NOT EVEN THE CLIMAX WAS WORTH IT Obsessed
EEEEEHHHHHHHH (Three way tie) Anvil! The Story of Anvil Crank: High Voltage Defiance