The Scorecard Review

Quickcard Review Dragonball: Evolution

Directed by: James Wong Cast: Justin Chatwin, Jamie Chung, Chow Yun Fat, Emmy Rossum Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG

Plot: A young man (Chatwin) trained in super martial arts must stop an ancient evil force from ending the world.

Who’s It For? Tweenage boys and their complacent chaperons/parents. Fans of the series will likely be disappointed, especially those who watched "Dragonball Z" on TV like this guy.

Expectations: "Do we need this movie?" "Have we ever wanted this movie?" "Will I get reimbursed for seeing this?" A big whopping "no" to all the above.

OVERALL

As far as adaptations that should never exist in the first place go, there have been worse. Like the best of the worst, Dragonball: Evolution was never really asked for by fans. In fact, the film is being

Apr 10
Apr 10 Observe and Report

Observe and Report Directed by: Jody Hill Cast: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Ray Liotta Running Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: R

Plot: A bipolar mall cop (Rogen) strives to become a police officer while also pursuing a flasher and a thief.

Who’s It For? The appeal of Seth Rogen has always been coed. But this particular film might be his biggest challenge to all of his devoted followers.

Expectations: Early buzz from SXSW said this was a "dark version of Paul Blart: Mall Cop." Now what the h-e-double hockey-sticks could that mean?

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Seth Rogen as Ronnie Barnhardt: That big kid in high school with the buzzcut and mental issues that kind of scared us? He grew up to be a security officer at the local mall. But Rogen pulls off this semi-sympathetic without letting go completely

Apr 10
Apr 10 Hannah Montana: The Movie

Hannah Montana: The Movie Directed by: Peter Chelsom Cast: Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Vanessa Williams, Lucas Till Time: 1 hr 38 min Rating: PG

Plot: The Hannah Montana persona has started to take over Miley Stewart’s life (Miley Cyrus), so her father (Billy Ray Cyrus) tricks her into returning to her roots in Tennessee. Via montages and silly slow-mo, Miley learns what’s truly important: people like you better when you’re blond.

Who’s It For? The three gazillion unquestioning, rabid devotees of Hannah Montana.

Expectations: I didn’t expect it to feel like an army brain-washing experiment where they trap you in a chair and peel your eyelids back and force you to watch hours of surreal crap until you’re turned into a mindless soldier for Disney—and I was dead wrong.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Miley Cyrus as Miley Stewart: I’m

Apr 10
Apr 10 Paris 36 (Faubourg)

Chris De Salvo

Paris 36 Directed by: Christophe Barratier Cast: Gérard Jugnot, Clovis Cornillac, Kad Merad, Nora Arnezeder Running Time: 2 hrs Rating: PG-13

Plot: A craftily shot French drama about a fledgling theater in the heart of Paris that falls under hard times and must succumb to a tyrant of a landlord who attempts to bring it to its demise. However, once an astonishingly alluring young actress arrives on the scene, hope returns to The Chansonia. An uncanny mixture of dramatic scenes coupled with visually stunning musical numbers enhance the plot by giving audience members a chance to sing along to the twisted tale of love, deceit, and deception.

Who’s It For?: As with 2008’s The Class, this film requires a tremendous amount of reading as the French-language format requires the subtitles to come a-flowing. Those of you

Apr 9
Apr 9 Sunshine Cleaning

Megan Lehar

Sunshine Cleaning Directed by: Christine Jeffs Cast: Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Steve Zahn Running Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: R

Plot: Rose Lorkowski (Adams) works as a house cleaner to support her son. Her sister, Norah (Blunt), is recently unemployed and lives at home with her Dad. When Mac (Zahn), Rose's married boyfriend, introduces her to the world of crime scene cleanup, she sees a way to be her own boss and make good money.

Who’s It For? People who like subtle comedy, like Little Miss Sunshine.

Expectations: I like both the lead actresses and the preview looked great so I was expecting awesome things.

OVERALL

Adams dims her usual glow to play Rose, a single mother and house cleaner just getting by financially and emotionally. In High School, Rose was head

Apr 3
Apr 3 Fast and Furious

Fast and Furious Directed by: Justin Lin Cast: Vin Deisel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster Time: 1 hr 30 min Rating: PG 13

Plot: FBI agent Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and noble rogue Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) join forces in the fourth installment in this automotive porn series to bring down the head of a drug cartel.

Who’s It For? Fans of mindless action flicks! Woooo!

Expectations: I was hoping for brainless, silly action and Vin Diesel is usually pretty good about that. I should warn everyone that I’m basing this review entirely on how much I enjoyed the movie and my innate ability to switch off my brain—if you, on the other hand, cannot turn your brain off, you probably shouldn’t even read this review. Right now my demographic consists of slaves to action flicks and

Apr 3
Apr 3 Adventureland

Adventureland Directed by: Greg Mottola Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Martin Starr, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Reynolds Running Time: 1 hr 45 mins Rating: R

Plot: The summer of 1987 is the scene for this coming-of-age story about James (Eisenberg) and his job at the amusement part Adventureland. The college graduate needs to earn some cash to get ready for grad school, but Em (Stewart) quickly becomes the focus of his attention.

Who’s It For? I already mentioned "coming-of-age" and I'm sure I'll do it a couple more times. That's the draw of this film. Not comedy.

Expectations: I liked everyone involved, but when I saw the previews and it looked just from that Reynolds was going to mail this one in.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Jesse Eisenberg as James Brennan: Is he attempting to take the Woody Allen trophy?

Apr 2
Apr 2 Absurdistan

Megan Lehar

Absurdistan Directed by: Veit Helmer Cast: Kristyna Malérozá, Maximilian Mauff, Nino Chkheidze Running Time: 1 hr 25 mins Rating: Unrated

Plot: In a small village between Asia and Europe, outside of any known country, lives Aya and Temelko. Born on the same day, they grow up together and feel destined to be together. Aya's grandmother, kind of a soothsayer, predicts that they have one week in which to come together or they never will. In the interim, the pipe that brings water to their town breaks and the men in town refuse to fix it so the women go all Lysistrata and refuse their husbands sex until the pipe is repaired. Meaning Temelko has less than a week to fix the pipe and get the girl.

Who’s It For? Do you like German comedy? And yes

Mar 30
Mar 30 Monsters vs. Aliens

Monsters vs. Aliens Directed by: Peter Cornwell Cast (voice): Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, Keifer Sutherland, Rainn Wilson, Paul Rudd Time: 1 hr 10 min Rating: PG

Plot:Right before Susan Murphy (Reese Witherspoon) strolls down the aisle to marry Derek Dietl (Paul Rudd), she is struck by a meteorite that causes her to grow a hundred times her normal size. The government whisks her away to a secret facility that keeps “monsters” away from the general public. When an alien (Rainn Wilson) invades earth to harness the energy from the meteorite, the government turns to the monsters for help. Long…gasp…explanation…wheeze…

Who’s It For?Everyone will get a kick out of this movie, but I’d say it’s especially for younger and pre-teen girls.

Expectations:The previews looked cool, the idea was cool, and Seth Rogen was a

Mar 27
Mar 27 The Haunting in Connecticut

CLICK HERE for Morrow McLaughlin's complete Scorecard Review

Quickcard Review The Haunting in Connecticut

Directed by: Peter Cornwell Cast: Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, Elias Koteas Time: 1 hr 20 min Rating: PG 13

Plot: A teenager (Gallner) has cancer, and the family moves closer to the hospital for his treatment. But the house is an ex-mortuary. His mother (Madsen) hopes for the best, but the house is holding secrets from the past.

Who’s It For? Those who want/need the creepy stories, but are willing to overlook some flaws.

OVERALL

Going to a scary movie is kind of like a first date. Your palms get sweaty, you’re consistently nervous, and you’re just hoping for something unexpected to happen. It’s a love/hate … thing, and so is this movie.

It’s a good start. Creepy tone, scary basement, big house

Mar 26
Mar 26 The Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut Directed by: Peter Cornwell Cast: Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, Elias Koteas Time: 1 hr 20 min Rating: PG 13

Plot:A mother (Madsen) moves into a creepy ex-mortuary in order to be closer to the hospital, where her son (Gallner) is receiving chemotherapy. Like you’d expect from a creepy ex-mortuary, the house turns out to be possessed by a gaggle of ill-tempered spirits.

Who’s It For? Ghost story addicts, such as myself.

Expectations: I’ve reached the point where I assume any American made ghost story is going to amount to little more than a pile of caca, but I was still ready to be entertained. My expectations were suitably, though not pessimistically, low.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Virginia Madsen as Sara Campbell: Madsen has very little impact on the movie’s effectiveness. Here and there she has some quasi-real

Mar 20
Mar 20 I Love You, Man

Quickcard Review I Love You, Man

Directed by: John Hamburg Cast: Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: R

Plot: Now that Peter (Rudd) is engaged, he realizes he needs a best man. But he really doesn't have any guy friends, so now he's out searching, and along comes someone (Segel) who might be just right, even if his fiancee (Jones) doesn't think so.

Who’s It For? Did you like Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Well that becomes secondary because this film is a Rudd lovefest. And he proves to be one of the more likeable guys in Hollywood.

OVERALL

They don't rush into it here and they give Rudd time to set up his character of Peter Klaven, plus there's comedians from "Saturday Night Live," Broken Lizard and MTV's "The State" so

Mar 20
Mar 20 Duplicity

DuplicityDirected by: Tony Gilroy Cast: Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, Paul Giamatti, Tom Wilkinson Running Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: A couple of romantically involved corporate spies (Owen and Roberts) scheme to screw two battling pharmaceutical companies out of forty million dollars.

Who’s It For? The fun of Duplicity will bode best with people that have longer attention spans and are less than demanding when it comes to action this is in your face. Being a fan of classic con films will be a plus.

Expectations: Writer-director Tony Gilroy impressed with his Oscar-nominated film Michael Clayton. That film proved his smarts, and I expected Duplicity to be a more mainstream continuation of this skill.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Clive Owen as Ray Koval: Another dapper role that has Owen turning up

Mar 20
Mar 20 I Love You Man

I Love You, Man Directed by: John Hamburg Cast: Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: R

Plot: A guy, who completely loses male friends when he is involved with women, must find a best man before his wedding.

Who’s It For? The same dating crowd that loves to remember Forgetting Sarah Marshall would be treating themselves to an even funnier experience.

Expectations: Considering its cast, I thought this was going to be another comedy from Judd Apatow (it is not). Seth Rogen is nowhere to be seen, and the film's writers aren't even from the Apatow universe.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Paul Rudd as Peter Klaven: Rudd is becoming the best man for romantic comedies. His carefully balanced level of handsomeness makes his attractiveness seemingly attainable to the ladies, yet his characters always seem

Mar 20
Mar 20 Knowing

Chris De Salvo

Knowing Directed by: Alex Proyas Cast: Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne, Chandler Canterbury Running Time: 2 hrs, 2 minutes Rating: PG-13

Plot: A disillusioned widower/college professor’s son (Cage) attends an elementary school that plans to unveil a time capsule that’s been buried for 50 years. Little does he know that the contents of the letter his son retrieves from the relic contains an alarming amount of answers regarding a half-century’s worth of disasters. The film centers upon a grieving man’s struggle to thwart the inevitable effects of certain disaster.

Who’s It For?: Difficult to peg. Nicholas Cage fans are routinely taken on tangential rides where their favorite actor jumps from exploring think-pieces [Adaptation] to blockbusting fluff [Bangkok Dangerous]. As one of the world’s more relevant movie stars, Cage needed an intelligent, thought-provoking feature to bring his star

Mar 20
Mar 20 The Great Buck Howard

The Great Buck Howard Directed by: Sean McGinly Cast: Colin Hanks, John Malkovich, Emily Blunt, Steve Zahn Running Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: R

Plot: Buck Howard used to spend his days on Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show."

Who’s It For? For people who are sick of YouTube making everything "instant entertainment." And if you're obsessed with Malkovich, this let's you see him in a different, but still kooky, light.

Expectations: There wasn't a lot of buzz about this film at Sundance, so I decided not to think "great" just cause it was in the title.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Colin Hanks as Troy Gabel: A writer. Really? That's the job Troy wants. Not a lawyer like his father expects. His dad looks a lot like his real life dad Tom Hanks. Must be the lighting. Just like in

Mar 15
Mar 15 Race to Witch Mountain

Click here to read Nick Allen's complete scorecard review

Quickcard Review Race to Witch Mountain

Directed by: Andy Fickman Cast: Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, Carla Gugino Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG

Plot: A Las Vegas cab driver (Johnson) assists two alien teenagers (Robb, Ludwig) in retrieving their space ship which is being guarded deep beneath Witch Mountain.

Who’s It For? I'm not sure what makes this a family film. My niece and nephew saw it opening weekend and said, "It had a lot of action." That's it. That's what made it good. Which continues my theory ... kids will sit through anything in the theater and think it's good.

OVERALL

We used to be able to smell what the rock was cooking. But alas no more. Over the years Dwayne Johnson has put

Mar 13
Mar 13 Race to Witch Mountain

Race to Witch Mountain Directed by: Andy Fickman Cast: Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, Carla Gugino Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG

Plot: A Las Vegas cab driver (Johnson) assists two alien teenagers (Robb, Ludwig) in retrieving their space ship which is being guarded deep beneath Witch Mountain.

Who’s It For? This film has a few moments that might be too scary or violent for children in the lower single-digits. Disney has crafted this film for its pre-teen audience, and they even throw in a cheap Cheech Marin cameo to keep parents from falling asleep.

Expectations: From its poster and first trailer, it looked like a carefully constructed science fiction adventure movie built for pre-teens still watching Disney. This is another feature length film based on a two-minute amusement park ride, right?

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Dwayne Johnson

Mar 13
Mar 13 Che Part 1

Megan Lehar