SquareTSR

Hi.

This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

Race to Witch Mountain

Quickcard Review Race to Witch Mountain

Directed by: Andy Fickman Cast: Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, Carla Gugino Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG

Click here to read Nick Allen's complete scorecard review

Plot: A Las Vegas cab driver (Johnson) assists two alien teenagers (Robb, Ludwig) in retrieving their space ship which is being guarded deep beneath Witch Mountain.

Who’s It For? I'm not sure what makes this a family film. My niece and nephew saw it opening weekend and said, "It had a lot of action." That's it. That's what made it good. Which continues my theory ... kids will sit through anything in the theater and think it's good.

OVERALL

We used to be able to smell what the rock was cooking. But alas no more. Over the years Dwayne Johnson has put down the apron and is now just acting. His latest -- Race to Witch Mountain updates a Disney classic. Actually, classic is way over used. You might only have a faint memory of the films .. Escape to Witch Mountain and Return to Witch Mountain.

Here, two kids are sent from outer space on a mission to rescue their planet. Luckily they have some powers to help them along the way. Johnson is a taxi driver with his own issues, but he tries to sum everything up by saying "They got into my cab, so they're my problem."

Once again Johnson is just a little too manicured for my tastes, and I'm not just talking about this hairline. "Race" is just lazy film making. With a bad guy that's a predator knock-off, and way too many lines like, "I know this sounds crazy, but..." I mean, in one scene they actually try to cover up an RV with three branches. Lazy. And if you need your Carla Gugino fix, just go see "Watchmen" again. I don't know what makes this a family flick. Halfway through they realize it's not that fun, so they throw in a dog.

The original is at least kitschy fun. So rent that before you even think about spending $40 for the family to see this. Better yet, parents here's some homework, make sure your kids have seen E.T., The Neverending Story and The Princess Bride before watching anything else.

Final Score: 3/10

Rami wants Dunst for Spider-Man 4, already has Maguire

Box Office Review - March 15, 2009