Rock of Ages Directed by: Adam Shankman Starring: Tom Cruise, Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin Rating: Not Yet Rated Release Date: June 1, 2012
TRAILER SCORE: 3/10
Thoughts by TSR: I love musicals. I like rock and roll (generally speaking, at least). Throw in Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, and Paul Giamatti, and it might lead one to think that I’m totally psyched about Rock of Ages. Unfortunately the math doesn’t add up in this case. So what went wrong here? My first thought was that it’s because it doesn’t use original songs, but that doesn’t feel right because it’s inherent to the source. Besides, Moulin Rouge! uses pre-existing music, and it’s one of my favorite films. I’m left scratching my head.
While I’m not a fan of all the bands listed at the end, I can get on board with the opening song, “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger. But by the time we got to the mash-up of “We’re Not Gonna Take It” and “We Built This City” I pretty much lost any desire to see this film. I can’t stand anything Catherine Zeta-Jones is doing here, and being saddled with the Twisted Sister song certainly doesn’t help her case. Perhaps people out there who love both Twisted Sister and Chicago will get a kick out of it, but it’s just not doing anything for me.
The last thing I want to mention is the buildup to Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx. This feels like it is supposed to be a big moment, but it arrives with a whimper. Even the almost funny moment where he casually autographs a fan is undercut by the silly exaggerated sound effect.
Maybe I just don’t get it. To me this trailer is nothing more than a compilation of glossy, toothless imitations. I think I’d be better off watching an episode of “Glee.” That way I’d save ten dollars, and the agony would only last 40 minutes.