This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 Directed by: Bill Condon Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Billy Burke, Michael Sheen Running Time: 1 hr 55 mins Rating: PG-13 Release Date: November 16, 2012

PLOT: After the birth of Edward and Bella's daughter, Renesmee, the Volturi feel threatened. Now the Cullens and the wolfpack must gather friends together in order to protect the family.

WHO'S IT FOR? Not only will the Twi-hards be desperate to say goodbye, the ones who are skeptically dragged along should have a pretty good time as well.


It's not a vampire movie. It's a superhero B-movie. Yeah, I know. I was surprised too.

We are saying goodbye to one of the most beloved movie franchises of all time. It's probably the most hated as well. I read the first novel and thought it was mindless entertainment. The movies have always varied from "OK" to "Not bad." It's the fans that are truly hated. Just read, When Twihards Attack. I was indifferent entering this movie. I know, that's not as exciting as yearning to see Stewart bite her lower lip (whether to laugh at, or to appreciate her intensity).

Edward and Bella have a rapidly growing daughter named Renesmee, but Jacob calls her Nesse because he imprinted all over her. They definitely don't overexplain what imprinting means, but from what I gather it means Jacob can't or won't leave her side, and eventually, when she's not a baby or child, they become romantic. Yeah, for a while Bella finds it a little gross as well. By the way, I do not like looking at CGI baby faces and CGI kid faces. The effects used to create Renesmee are laughable.

The film wanders around, with Bella figuring out all of the benefits of being a vampire. It seems slightly odd to me that Jacob was so reluctant to turn her. Never once, not even when dealing with Bella's dad Charlie (Burke), does anyone think that being a vampire anything but the cat's pajamas.

The plot of the movie finally surfaces. I won't get into the details, because there is almost no point. Someone jumps to a conclusion, and the Volutri believe her. It's not true, and can be easily proven a false accusation. It's very frustrating.

While this is happening, you realize you're in a superhero movie. Think of it like a poor-man's X-Men. Some vampires have super special powers (electricity, shields, controlling the elements), and just like a superhero movie we gear up for a final battle. Breaking Dawn - Part 2 felt incredibly bloated at this point. It reminded me a little of The Matrix Revolutions. Too many new characters and new elements for a final story. It normally works best when a final chapter becomes more focused on the core. Sure, Bella and Edward have some sexy time, and Bella and Jacob have some moments together as well, but it's nothing compared to a huge list of character names I couldn't keep track of if my life depended on it.

That's how I felt about the first two-thirds of the film, but then something changed. Aro (Sheen) appears on a snowy field and practically screams with delight at the audience, "It's OK to not take this seriously! Let's have some fun!" All of the B-movie elements burst to life. Suddenly the bad special effects are used with delightful results. The actors who have been forced through cheesy dialogue are getting their comeuppance. Most importantly, heads are being torn off. Lots of heads. They get away with a tremendous amount of violence in this film. Keep that in mind so you won't be shocked when you see a beloved character or two headless (or bodiless, depending on which way you look at it). There's a twist that even those who read the book won't be prepared for. Sure the ending has about four good-byes, but let's not forget Lord of the Rings: Return of the King which said goodbye for its final 45 minutes.

I rolled my eyes, laughed at, and laughed with this film. I was entertained. It's a sloppy fun mess, and the most fun I had watching a Twilight movie. The saga is over, and it ended with my favorite bite (get it? Because it's a vampire movie ... bite).



Episode 134: Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider - 'Skyfall' and more