Don't worry cowboy, you can cry on my shoulder. The results of the 4th Annual TSR Movie Awards are in and it was a banner year. Now, if you are the type that just needs the numbers feel free to scroll down and get your fix. TSR Movie Awards were just like the Academy Awards in the fact that they both had a wide variety of winners. The big difference was movie of the year and the host. While the Oscars were lucky enough to get Jon Stewart (and should have him hosting for years ala Johnny Carson), TSR Movie Awards were once again stuck with a tall blond movie geek shouting out award winners during the commercials.
This is normally the time when I attempt to have witty banter about the results. Well, banter of the witty variety is taking a big hit this year because of one awful word: anonymous. The fourth annual TSR Movie Awards were the first year people didn't have to enter their name. I had no logic in doing this, and it will never happen again.
Here is an example of all the fun we are currently missing … You'll never guess what Person A did. Person A gave "War of the Worlds" a nine, but only gave "Crash" a three. Just doesn't work without the actual name.
True, my parents are probably breathing a sigh of relief right now. They would typically fall prey to my commentary. Now, I can only assume the one man to give Zorro a perfect 10 for Best Superhuman was dear old dad.
And really, who do I think I am? I beg, plead and annoy people to fill this made up movie award ballot for my own personal enjoyment and then I have the audacity to sit here and humor myself by making fun of them … I should be ashamed … But I'm not. Lucky for me, guilt only works when it's coming from the girlfriend. Speaking of which, it was my girlfriend (and one other) who voted for Tom Cruise for Actor in the Hall of Fame. Yup, two votes out of 107. I know you all have decided to hate Tom Cruise, but please keep in mind "Rain Man," "Born of the 4th of July," "The Color of Money," "Jerry Maguire" and "Collateral." The guy can act. There honey, I defended you.
There was a little fear on Saturday when the web site hosting the awards crashed. My spirit was broke. But back on Sunday it was working again. Wow, Capote would not be impressed by the word usage. Might get shipped off to some foreign country for that one. I really need to stop. This is impressing no one. OK, the results. Good night …
For most categories I will give the worst and the top three. If I don't it means the results weren't all that interesting. Remember the scale was 1-10. And thanks to everyone for understanding the directions of grading and not ranking. And one last time, thank you to the 107 people that made this possible. Last year was the previous high with 56. Mathematically speaking, I do believe this means that in the year 2037 there will be 1.94 billion people voting on TSR Movie Awards. Number like that can't lie.
Best Top 10 Money Makers Worst: War of the Worlds 4.89 3rd: The Wedding Crashers 7.24 2nd: The Chronicles of Narnia 7.36 1st: Batman Begins 7.4
Most Laughs W: Kicking and Screaming 4.4 4: The 40-year-old Virgin 7.58 3: Kung Fu Hustle 7.83 2: The Aristocrats 7.9 1: The Wedding Crashers 8.2
Scariest 2: Skeleton Key 6.5 1: The Exorcism of Emily Rose 6.89
Animated 2: Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride 7.64 1: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit 8.0
Saddest W: King Kong 5.19 3: Capote 6.72 2: The Constant Gardener 7.39 1: Brokeback Mountain 7.83
Best Music W: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 4.32 3: Rent 7.35 2: Hustle & Flow 7.83 1: Walk the Line 9.0 (3rd highest overall score)
Biggest Disappointment (high score is bad) W: Jarhead 2.1 3: The Brother's Grimm 6.56 2: Be Cool 6.63 1: Bewitched 6.82
Best Ending W: Broken Flowers 5.5 3: Hustle & Flow 7.62 2: Match Point 7.67 1: A History of Violence 7.73
Best Visuals - Special Effects W: War of the Worlds 6.47 3: Chronicles of Narnia 8.04 2: King Kong 8.16 1: Sin City 8.32
Best Visuals - Non Special Effects 2: The Constant Gardener 7.4 1: Memoirs of a Geisha 8.36
Best Action Hero/Superhuman/Villain W: Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars 5.74 3: Marv - Sin City 7.83 2: Mal - Serenity 8.0 1: Batman - Batman Begins 8.21
Screenplay - Adapted 3: Walk the Line 8.28 2: Brokeback Mountain 8.81 1: Capote 8.88
Screenplay - Original W: Elizabethtown 5.29 3: Good Night, and Good Luck 8.39 2: Crash 8.44 1: The Squid and the Whale 8.9
Best Supporting Actress (Closest overall race) W: Dakota Fanning (War of the Worlds) 5.28 3: Catherine Keener (Capote) 8.24 2: Laura Linney (The Squid and the Whale) 8.27 1: Amy Adams (Junebug) 8.3
Best Supporting Actor (Closest margin of victory) W: Adrien Brody (King Kong) 5.7 3: Paul Giamatti (Cinderella Man) 8.13 2: Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Moutain) 8.32 1: George Clooney (Syriana) 8.33
Best Actress W: Cameron Diaz (In Her Shoes) 5.91 W: Reese Witherspoon (Just like Heaven) 5.91 3: Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener) 8.33 2: Charlize Theron (North Country) 8.70 1: Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) 8.87
Best Actor W: Orlando Bloom (Elizabethtown) 5.4 3: Heath Ledger (Brokeback Mountain) 8.97 2: Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line) 8.98 (5th overall highest score) 1: Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Capote) 9.37 (Highest score)
Best Acting - Entire Cast 3: Brokeback Mountain 8.97 2: Capote 9.0 (3rd overall highest score) 1: Walk the Line 9.05 (2nd overall highest score)
Best Film W: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 5.51 6: Good Night, and Good Luck 7.91 5: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang 7.92 (My 2nd favorite of the year) 4: Walk the Line 7.93 3: Crash 8.09 2: Capote 8.47 1: Brokeback Mountain 8.52
Movie Quote of the Year 3: "I'm a virgin. I always have been" Andy - The 40-year-old Virgin. 14 percent 2: "God, I wish I knew how to quit you." Jack - Brokeback Mountain. 28 percent 1: "Tattoo on her lower back? Might as well be a bullseye." Jeremy - The Wedding Crashers. 38 percent
Actress of the Year (multiple roles) 3: Rachel McAdams. 19 percent 2: Reese Witherspoon. 23 percent 1: Catherine Keener. 25 percent
Actor of the Year (multiple roles) 3: George Clooney. 15 percent 3: Heath Ledger. 15 percent 2: Terrence Howard. 22 percent 1: Vince Vaughn. 33 percent
Members of the Hall of Fame Actresses 3: Emma Thompson. 17 percent 2: Audrey Hepburn. 18 percent 1: Diane Keaton. 25 percent (new member this year)
Keaton now joins the Hall of Fame with … Nicole Kidman Meryl Streep Julia Roberts Frances McDormand Jodie Foster Meg Ryan
Actors W: Tom Cruise. 2 percent 3: Paul Newman. 19 percent 2: Harrison Ford. 22 percent 1: Jack Nicholson. 30 percent (new member this year)
Nicholson now joins the Hall of Fame with … Johnny Depp Tom Hanks Edward Norton Robert DeNiro Morgan Freeman Kevin Spacey
Movies 3: Memento. 17 percent 2: The Empire Strikes Back. 18 percent 2: Caddyshack. 18 percent 1: The Graduate. 25 percent (new member this year)
The Graduate now joins the Hall of Fame with … Usual Suspects American Beauty Fight Club Pulp Fiction The Princess Bride Dead Poets Society When Harry Met Sally Shawshank Redemption
That's it. That's the list.