By Morrow McLaughlin Once upon a time, there was a game called Morrowind and then I pretty much lost my will to live in my own reality. I can't carry an enchanted sword in MY reality (not without a permit, anyway) and my last few attempts to walk on water were less than successful.

I hit rock bottom and had to go to Morrowind rehab where I talked about my feelings and was rewarded for not claiming to be a Redguard named Lotus...and then Oblivion happened, and then Fallout 3...and I've just given into the fact that I'm an escapist, gamer junkie. Have I briefly considered adult diapers for those days when there's just too many boss fights for a proper bathroom break?...Of course not, that would be gross.

My newest, favoritist guilty pleasure is Mass Effect by Bioware, which I could play until my eyeballs dried up and I actually starved to death. If not for the fact that I have school every morning and an eye on a lucrative career path, I'd do nothing else than explore different solar systems and flirt with Kaiden Alenko.

And what's this? January 26th Mass Effect 2 comes out and there aren't enough exclamation points to really drive home how I feel about that. It's a little like Johnny Depp is going to personally pay me a visit in order to give me a full body massage with the happy ending non gratis.

So why the philosophizing about how I'd actually snort Mass Effect if I could break it into powder form? BECAUSE WE DON'T REVIEW VIDEO GAMES ON THIS SIGHT! AND WHY WOULD WE? I mean really, Bayer? Why should we review something that is clearly one of those popular little fads that will soon die out and everyone will just move on to pet rocks or lead paint slinkies or whatever.

And it's not like there's a bajillion gamers out there who'd like to know if they should fork over up to $60 for a new game. Would I have liked some prior warning before purchasing The Darkness? Heck, yes, I would!

Maybe I'll just start reviewing video games anyway, like the rogue reviewer.

Hmph.