The Scorecard Review

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This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

All in Film Reviews

Oct 29
Oct 29 RocknRolla

Quickcard Review RocknRolla

Directed by: Guy Ritchie Cast: Gerald Butler, Mark Strong, Tom Wilkinson, Toby Kebbell, Idris Elba, Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges, Jeremey Piven, Thandie Newton Running Time: 1 hr 55 mins Rating: R

CLICK HERE to read Allen's full Scorecard Review

Plot: The underworld of London gets blown up (figuratively) in the latest Ritchie film. A huge cast of characters are looking for money, a lucky panting, and a rock star.

Who’s It For? If you check the 'yes' box next to liking Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and the film Snatch then here's another one for you. There are moments of sex and violence and tons of foul language to go along with it all. If you saw Ritchie's other films ... and enjoyed them ... sorry, I don't have any sarcastic award to

Oct 29
Oct 29 Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Quickcard Review Zack and Miri Make a Porno Directed by: Kevin Smith Cast: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes, Katie Morgan Running Time: 1 hr 41 mins Rating: R

CLICK HERE to read Pardee's full Scorecard Review

Plot: Friends forever ... Zack (Rogen) and Miri (Banks) hit hard financial times and they look for any option to make money for the rent. Zack suggests they make a porn flick, and a group of friends are willing to help. But as the cameras role, the two begin to have feeling for one another and of course, that complicates things.

Who’s It For? It's easy to say this is for the younger crowd. Those under 40 seem to have a different appreciation for porn, it's something that can be talked about instead of hid in the

Oct 24
Oct 24 Saw V

Saw V Directed by: David Hackl Cast: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, Meagan Good Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: R

Plot: Characters and audiences alike are tortured in the fifth installment of the Saw franchise. Essentially, people die slowly. In the movie or, (for the audience), in their souls.

Who’s It For? 1. People who don't realize that these films are essentially identical to each other. 2. Gullible teenagers.

Expectations: "I have to pay $8.50 to see this?!!!"

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Tobin Bell as Jigsaw: Jigsaw is a heroic villain for a dumb-blooded, naive generation who have no respect for their elders like Jason Voorhees or Mike Myers; (but fear not kiddies! Your Michael Bay-itized remake of the classic Friday the 13th is due out in February!) Jigsaw has this terrible habit of sounding like a

Oct 23
Oct 23 Changeling

Changeling Directed by: Clint Eastwood Cast: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Jason Butler Harner Time: 2 hrs 20 mins Rating: R

Plot: In the late 1920's, a mother (Jolie) battles uphill against a manipulative Los Angeles police department when the missing son returned to her is not actually her child.

Who’s It For? Anyone familiar with recent Eastwood films like Mystic River or Letters From Iwo Jima should be aware of Changeling's oncoming sentimentality and rewarding quality. But for some, the emotional intensity of Changeling might be similar to be whipped by a wet towel that has been soaked in tears.

Expectations: Clint Eastwood. The films he has directed in the past have been as powerful as the Smith & Wesson Model 29 that he used to fire off during his Dirty Harry days.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Angelina Jolie

Oct 23
Oct 23 Happy-Go-Lucky

Happy-Go-LuckyDirected by: Mike Leigh Cast: Sally Hawkins, Eddie Marsan, Alexis Zegerman, Samuel Roukin Time: 2 hrs Rating: R

Plot: Poppy (Hawkins) is a woman who is always wearing a smile on her face. She walks through life always looking for the positive spin on things in North London with her friends.

Who’s It For? Are you convinced that sunshine always beats rain? This is a film that will test the theory. It's actually tough to say if this is for people who can't stand the annoying over-talker in the group, or for those who have no idea they are the one who just can't shut up.

Expectations: I have been a fan of Leigh but it comes down to one film: Topsy-Turvy. Otherwise Secrets & Lies and Career Girls underperformed for me.

Oct 23
Oct 23 Pride and Glory

Pride & Glory Directed by: Gavin O’Connor Cast: Colin Farrell, Edward North, Jon Voight, Noah Emmerich Time: 2 hrs 5 mins Rating: R

Plot: The Tierney family has been a part of the New York Police Department for two generations and their pride is thicker than the blood that binds them. When Ray (Edward Norton) uncovers a controversial case involving the corruption of the men in blue, the bond that has tied his family together begins to unravel in more ways than one.

Who’s It For?. Fans of shoot-em-ups with a backbone. Edward Norton doesn’t take roles that he could just phone in. You may want to tune in if you don't mind being left in the dark without having your questions overshadow the thrilling good guy v. bad guy story.

Expectations: On paper, this film has got everything: an exceptional cast, a riveting story, and a gifted filmmaker. With a line up this impressive, it’s difficult to see how it could miss as a critical success. Though there were rumors as to why it wasn’t released in March as originally planned, this is the quintessential buzz film.

Oct 23
Oct 23 High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Morrow McLaughlin

High School Musical 3: Senior YearDirected by: Kenny Ortega Cast: Zac Efron, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, Corbin Bleu, Monique Coleman Time: 1 hr 45 mins Rating: G

Plot: It's senior year at East High School, and the original gang from High School Musical 1 and 2 come together to create one last musical before graduation and inevitable adulthood (hang on, kids! Don't do it!).

Who’s It For? Anyone who likes musicals, anyone who has kids, or even anyone with a soul. Vampires need not apply.

Expectations: I had high expectations based on the extreme popularity of the first two movies and the crazy hype of the third. If you get millions of kids that excited and then let them down, you're liable to find yourself on the wrong end of an angry mob

Oct 21
Oct 21 W.

Quickcard Review W. Directed by: Oliver Stone Cast: Josh Brolin, James Cromwell, Richard Dreyfuss, Elizabeth Banks Time: 2 hrs 9 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: The life and time of George W. Bush (Brolin) -- from the time he was in college to his current position as President of the United States.

Who's it For? Liberal minded folks with flock to this film for a chance to laugh at our current President. But I am vastly more interested in people who still respect/admire/follow our current Commander-in-Chief, what will they make us this? The focus is not as mean as I was prepared for, I think there are only two f-bombs and it doesn't talk about George W. Bush's cocaine use.

CLICK HERE to read De Salvo's full Scorecard Review

OVERALL It's always good, never great. It's an amazing time

Oct 19
Oct 19 Hunger

HungerDirected by: Steven McQueen Cast: Michael Fassbender, Liam Cunningham, Stuart Graham, Liam McMahon, Time: 1 hr 36 mins Rating:

Plot: An urgently told story about prisoners confined in Northern Ireland’s H-Blocks in the early 1980s. Despite having had happened a quarter century ago, these infamous tales of torture hit alarmingly close to home in the wake of recent events related to the world-wide war on terror. This story is about young men of a different era, led by Bobby Sands, who undergo a 1981 Hunger Strike in the fight for their human rights amidst an era of nearly unimaginable tyrannical rule.

Who’s It For? Anyone who is a self-proffesed history buff, but who also requires strong authenticity in the retellings. This film cuts close to the bone, and is not for adolescent-laden history classrooms

Oct 19
Oct 19 The Class

The ClassDirected by: Laurent Cantet Cast: François Bégaudeau Time: 2 hrs 8 mins Rating: Not yet rated

Plot: A middle school teacher (Bégaudeau), in a multi-ethnic public school outside of Paris ,spends a year struggling with a crop of resistant students. As he tries to do his job - which is to teach his pupils how to read, write and speak proper French - he finds himself constantly at odds with their rebelliousness, their sharpening intellect and the surprising things he doesn't know about them that makes each one an individual. As he works to find the balance between teaching and preaching, he lets his temper get the better of him. Consequences, both for himself and for his students, aren't far behind.

Who’s It For? Though it's award-winning, the film is not for those expecting

Oct 18
Oct 18 Max Payne

Morrow McLaughlin

Max PayneDirected by: John Moore Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Chris O'Donnell, Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: Based on the popular shoot-em-up video game comes the story of DEA agent Max Payne ( Mark Wahlberg) who now works the cold cases in an attempt to solve (and avenge) his wife and daughter's murder. Max begins to piece together a conspiracy with the help of an assassin (Mila Kunis).

Who’s It For? Max Payne gamers and fans of Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg is always fun to watch and he unfailingly respects the role and his audience, even if Hollywood does not.

Expectations: I am a gamer. One of those rabid gamers. Actually, I'm about three inches from dressing up as Lara Croft and heading off to the nearest convention. Therefore

Oct 16
Oct 16 W.

W. Directed by: Oliver Stone

Cast: Josh Brolin, James Cromwell, Richard Dreyfuss, Elizabeth Banks

Time: 2 hrs 9 mins

Rating: PG-13

Plot: The story of President George W. Bush (Brolin). This is a touching story of how our present President came to be, and why he may still be unsure about how he actually got here.

Who’s It For? Not for everyone. In fact, about 24 percent (Bush’s approval rating at press time) of you will absolutely hate the methods Stone uses to present a faux-biopic where no amount of fiction could possibly paint a more honest portrait of the most troubled President in recent memory. Many (you know who you are) will engage in spurts of laughter not often heard in joint cinematic experiences.

Expectations: Stone likes to tackle heated issues, particularly in the political vein

Oct 16
Oct 16 Max Payne

Quickcard Review Max Payne Directed by: John Moore Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Chris O'Donnell, Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: Based on the popular, violent video game comes the story of DEA agent Max Payne (Wahlberg). He now works the cold cases trying to avenge his wife and daughter's murder. Max begins to piece together a conspiracy with the help of an assassin (Kunis) that involves devils and drugs.

Who’s It For? I hope gamers like it. But I heard it was originally an R-rated film, then changed to a PG-13, less violent version. That's not going to make die-hards happy. And if you aren't familiar with this world, I wouldn't bother checking it out. Check out McLaughlin's full Scorecard Review--which will be up later this weekend--for the

Oct 16
Oct 16 Sex Drive

Sex DriveDirected by: Sean Anders Cast: Josh Zuckerman, Amanda Crew, Clark Duke, James Marsden Time: 1 hr 45 mins Rating: R

Plot: Clumsy high school senior Ian (Zuckerman) steals his older brother's prized '69 Judge across the country to lose his virginity to online hottie Ms. Tasty (Katrina Bowden).

Who's It For? Not a far cry from last year's Superbad, Sex Drive is intended for a more mature teenage to young adult audience. Definitely leave the kids at home on this one to avoid a slew of uncomfortable moments.

Expectations: It's billed as the next teen gross-out flick, so it's easy to imagine that excessive profanity, over-the-top nudity and lots of sex jokes will be part of the equation. With all that debauchery, any actual storytelling would be a pleasant surprise.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Josh Zuckerman as Ian: Though

Oct 16
Oct 16 The Secret Life of Bees

The Secret Life of BeesDirected by: Gina Prince-Bythewood Cast: Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, Sophie Okonedo, Paul Bettany Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: Based on the novel by Sue Monk Kidd, Lilly (Fanning) is haunted by her past and at the age of 14, and she set's off with her nanny Rosaleen (Hudson) to look for a better life and finds a honey maker (Latifah) who opens her home.

Who’s It For? Fans of the book, and people who need to learn how to love themselves will appreciate this film. It is set in 1964 during the civil rights movement. There is racial tension throughout the film and occasional violence.

Expectations: It's a great cast and a very popular book, though I had not read it. The previews didn't give me much faith that this film would have an emotional impact on me.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Dakota Fanning as Lily Owens: Wow, Lily has baggage. Tons of it.

Oct 16
Oct 16 Sex Drive

Morrow McLaughlin

Sex Drive Directed by: Sean Anders Cast: Josh Zuckerman, Amanda Crew, Clark Duke, James Marsden Time: 1 hr 45 min Rating: R

Plot: A sweet, virginal nerd (Josh Zuckerman) and his silver-tongued best friend (Clark Duke) steals his brother’s (James Marsden) 1969 GTO to meet a girl he met on the internet, and (hopefully) get some tail.

Who’s It For? Primarily, teenagers. The film won’t have mass appeal for an older crowd, unless the older crowd in question has absolutely nothing else to do and unusually low expectations.

Expectations: Based solely on the charm of the previews, I thought this film could be a little comedic gem, which is why you don’t base your judgment on previews. I promise to get help before I start slavishly believing all commercials and everything I read. That being said, I’m off to buy some Clearasil, so I don’t die alone.

Oct 16
Oct 16 What Just Happened?

What Just Happened?Directed by: Barry Levinson Cast: Robert De Niro, John Turturro, Bruce Willis, Stanley Tucci Time: 1 hr 53 mins Rating: R

Plot: Robert De Niro stars as a once prominent Hollywood producer whose life is spiraling out of control while his career similarly falls from grace. We spend two weeks with him as things go from bad to worse, to better… one too many times.

Who’s It For? Those of you with a sweet tooth for ironic Hollywood satire, made by the same people their particular film is poking fun at, will love the punches What Just Happened? lands throughout.

Expectations: While De Niro’s career has been on a much-talked-about downslide, it seems to be the perfect vehicle to resurrect his own recent shortcomings. Perhaps a film as self aware as this one can

Oct 14
Oct 14 Body of Lies

Quickcard Review Body of Lies Directed by: Ridley Scott Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, Golshifteh Farahani Time: 2 hrs 10 mins Rating: R

Plot: Ed Hoffman (Crowe) pulls the strings from afar, as Roger Ferris (DiCaprio) conducts high-risk missions in the Middle East in an attempt to take down terrorists. Things get complicated with Roger falls for Aisha (Golshifteh Farahani) and must make difficult decisions about who his friends and allies truly are.

Overall: There is definitely enough to keep you interested, but as soon as the film ends, its purpose instantly disappears. What's the point? The fact that Roger could have turned to Ed and said, "I got to go see about a girl," (stolen of course from Good Will Hunting), comes close to negating the impact this film should have. The story is the downfall here. DiCaprio's accent fits better than it did in Blood Diamond, along with Crowe and his method-acting weight gain ... both are very good.

Oct 9
Oct 9 Body of Lies

Morrow McLaughlin

Body of LiesDirected by: Ridley Scott Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, Golshifteh Farahani Time: 2 hrs 20 mins Rating: R

Plot: Roger Ferris (DiCaprio) and Ed Hoffman (Crowe) work to outsmart and defuse an effective terrorist cell.

Who’s It For? DiCaprio and Crowe fans, and anyone else who likes fast-paced espionage films.

Expectations: With the alchemical combination of DiCaprio, Crowe and director Ridley Scott, the film has to be rewarding on multiple levels. Scott would have to put a lot of effort into failing.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Leonardo DiCaprio as Roger Ferris: DiCaprio is a fine actor, and he has his strong moments in Body of Lies. At the same time

Oct 9
Oct 9 City of Ember

City of EmberDirected by: Gil Kenan Cast: Harry Treadaway, Saoirse Ronan, Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, Martin Landau Time: 1 hr 35 mins Rating: PG

Plot: The people of Ember have been in a wondrous underground city of years, but now it is starting to fall apart and it's city lights are beginning to flicker. It's up to two kids to try and figure out a way to solve the problem and find a way out of Ember. Based on the novel by Jeanne Duprau.

Who’s It For? The whole family. I know I sound like a billboard, but this genuinely is a film that will keep both kids and parents interested. The violence is minimal, mainly coming from a giant mole, and even if your little one is afraid of the dark, this film won't traumatize them for life.

Expectations: I am always hopeful that a kids/family movie will do something beyond talking dogs (I'm looking at you Beverly Hills Chihuahua).