Conan the Barbarian Directed by: Marcus Nispel Starring: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan Rating: TBD Release Date: August 19, 2011

TRAILER SCORE: 1/10

MY THOUGHTS: This is one of the weakest teasers I've ever seen. From the horribly affected over-the-top voiceover, to Jason Momoa's ridiculous accent, to the all encompassing stench of cheese flowing in and out of the CG-smoke effects. This is just artistically poor, an appalling lack of effort.

I was really excited when I first heard that another Conan film was being made, but it's now my understanding that this film is simply a remake of the original -- Boooo! Hisss! I had however, held out some hope that they still might bring something decent to the table, but after seeing this trailer, I am so not stoked.

Momoa's accent just kills me. This is not how Conan should sound (or look, for that matter).  I'm sure fanboys across the land are freaking out about how poor the casting is here. "I live, I love, I slay, and I am content," not a bad line, as far as Conan is concerned, pretty faithful to the legendary comics really, but as delivered by Momoa -- his voice, argh, his voice! It's just impossible to stomach. It sounds like he's got some gristle lodged in the back of his throat, and that makes me uneasy. Wandering across the lands of Hyboria with Momoa sounds no bueno to me.

This teaser is next to worthless. It's lone duty is to instill hype, and all it did was sap me of my last remaining drops of optimism.

I hope, when the full trailer is released, that it somehow manages to give me something to be excited about --Perhaps Rose McGowan will allow for some good wenching?