This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

Dirty Girl

Dirty Girl Directed by: Abe Sylvia Cast: Juno Temple, Jeremy Dozier, Milla Jovovich, Mary Steenburgen, William H. Macy Running Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: R Release Date: October 7, 2011

PLOT: In 1987 Danielle (Temple) is labelled the school's "dirty girl." She runs away to find her daddy and takes closeted gay Clarke and a bag of flour with her on her journey.

WHO'S IT FOR? Maybe, just maybe this movie will have some sort of effect on a troubled teen and wake them up, but then again they really shouldn't be watching this R-rated flick.

EXPECTATIONS: I had none. No one in the cast makes me truly excited, although I used to look forward to anything Macy was in.


Respect. It's something that you earn. It is not just granted. Movies aren't exempt from this thought. Dirty Girl doesn't earn my respect. Neither does director Abe Sylvia. It's part farce, melodramatic and is under the false impression that Dirty Girl is too cool for school.

Our dirty girl in question is Danielle. She's the school slut/whore. She calls herself that and loves to throw herself on any high school boy who hasn't had the chance to ride the pony (is that a saying? Ah, who cares). Anyway, Danielle, who is a slut, but gets offended when others point it out, has daddy issues. I know, shocker! Once Danielle's attitude sends her to behavior disorder classes, she is forced to befriend Clarke (Dozier) because no one else will talk to her since she's in B.D. classes. Note to Sylvia, being in B.D. doesn't stop a slut from scoring. It probably encourages it. Clarke isn't out of the closet quite yet. Danielle helps push past that and hey, we finally have a little plot! Danielle doesn't want her potential step-dad (Macy) to make her Mormon, so now she must find her real dad. Road trip!

Throughout the entire film there is '80s music pumping, trying to distract you from the story. It's like quality icing on an awful cake. It doesn't help enough. Danielle and Clarke also carry around a bag of flour (a pretend baby for a school project). It's expression changes. Magically. There is really no place for farce in this tale, but there it is. This bag of flour is supposedly expressing shock, sadness and good times. Joan (the bag of flour) fails big time in this film.

So, while Danielle continues to be rude to everyone and play the victim, Clarke is coming out of the close by scoring with a stripper. Actually, there are three strip shows in a row in this film, and there is no way anyone will enjoy all three (the "shows" are from Nicholas D'Agosto, then Temple, then Dozier).

There is no flow to Dirty Girl plus, poor editing and screenwriting plague this lazy coming of age story. At one point, Joseph (Yoakam), Clarke's overly angry father, says he's going to Danielle's right now! We already know Clarke and Danielle live super close to each other, yet Yoakam leaves in the day, finally getting there late at night. Perfect timing later comes into play with Joseph walking in on his son's "show" and again at the end for a duet with Danielle and Clarke. It is forced in every sense of the word.

Danielle is obnoxious and arrogant, but so clearly naive to the real world. This is a story that wants her to change her whoring ways, but not too much because she's supposed to be a hip sort of Juno (Ellen Page) type. She's not.

Dirty Girl needs to be washed from my mind.


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