Clash of the Titans Directed by: Louis Letterier Cast: Sam Worthington, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson Running Time: 1 hr 45 mins Rating: PG-13 Release Date: April 2, 2010

CLICK HERE to read Morrow McLaughlin's TSR of Clash CLICK HERE to watch Jeff Bayer's review of Clash

PLOT: After hundreds of years of taking crap from the gods, especially Hades (Fiennes) and Zeus (Neeson), the humans of Earth decide to fight back with the help of demi-god named Perseus (Worthington).

WHO'S IT FOR?: Decent summer fun comes a few months early with this mythological actioner aimed at the blockbuster-viewing crowd (which starts at teenagers and expands to people of whatever age that want to take the risk.)

EXPECTATIONS: A remake of the 80’s movie, I wanted big action sequences that were cut well and tied together by some string of acceptable storytelling.

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Sam Worthington as Perseus: If the world is on the line, and you need an unlikely but easily trainable hero to come in and save the day, there is apparently only one action hero you call: Sam Worthington. Yawn. Save for a few instances where he becomes the putz, (which is also like Avatar,) he’s only interesting because of the elaborate action scenarios that let him run around the set. Score: 5

Ralph Fiennes as Hades: All of that time in Hell has given Hades a serious smoker's lung. Fiennes carries himself less like a god but more of a wide-eyed meth addict, but the special effects that let him transform into more eye-popping figures like a tornado or a floating smoke-monster with a furry torso. Without the pizzazz of such visual technology, we'd have an even harder time accepting him. Score: 4

Liam Neeson as Zeus: I don’t think that Frank Zappa is god, but someone up there does, as Neeson looks like a blonde version of the supposed rock deity. Though he’s the main villain, he only appears a few times, but Neeson has some fun with the heavy make-up and shiny suits. There’s certainly some amusement coming from his cold stare when he bellows what should have been the tagline for this film, “Release the Kraken!” Score: 4

TALKING: Amidst a whole bunch of different accents, there are a couple of head-scratching spoken stinkers that may unite any theatre in B-movie moment laughter. The worst is when Gemma Arterton says to the tense Worthington, “Ease your storm,” and with a completely straight face. A truly amusing touch is that the "Tree People" (or whatever they are called) do not speak in English, and are not even given the support of subtitles. The movie just lets them bark like dogs. Big, tall, scorpion-riding wood dogs that bark, covered in bark. Score: 5

SIGHTS: Clash of the Titans is very elaborate in its visuals – entire cities are constructed out of CGI, and the set pieces for the flick’s action sequences are massive. Thus, the world of mythological Greece is created thoroughly, which does make the action heavy remake into a bit of a spectacle. Score: 5

SOUNDS: Metal guitars might have been too cheesy, so Clash of the Titans instead chugs strings in its score, as those instruments are playing riffs usually reserved for distorted git-boxes. It works, and adds a dash of headbanging intensity to moments that are already decently visually involving. Score: 6

PLOT SPOILERS

BEST SCENE: Of all action moments in the film, Hades' homemade tornado in the beginning sticks out the most.

ENDING: Hmm, was anything truly in 3-D? Oh yeah, those final credits. They flew right at me! Whoa, duck!

QUESTIONS: See below.

REWATCHABILITY: A straight forward action movie that could be viewed again without numbing your mind too much.

OVERALL

Of all the films in the world that have been or are going to be remade, Clash of the Titans is one of the stronger cases in favor of giving a well-known movie from an earlier era a rehashing. While the story is thin, the action offers enough thrills to keep the film going, despite a few logical hiccups that can be caught if one pays attention too closely (what were the Tree People doing during the scorpion showdown?) What helps make Clash of the Titans a passable use of time is its captivating large scale, which is promoted by tip-top special effects.

If one should see this film in 3-D, they’d be making a big mistake. This movie is Evidence "C" that post-production 3-D is evil, those corporate Titans in Hollywood be damned.

FINAL SCORE: 5/10