Cop Out

Directed by: Kevin Smith Cast: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Guillermo Díaz, Seann William Scott Running Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: R Release Date: February 26, 2010

PLOT: Two long-time partners (Willis and Morgan) working for the NYPD must go after a Mexican gang when a valuable baseball card is stolen. After all, selling the baseball card is the only way Jimmy (Willis) can pay for his daughter's wedding.

WHO'S IT FOR? If you believe Tracy Morgan is one of the greatest living comedians, you can overlook the many flaws of Cop Out. It shouldn't matter if you like Bruce Willis or Kevin Smith, because they never make a mark in this film.

EXPECTATIONS: I knew of this film under its original title A Couple of Dicks. Smith seemed to be back to his old self with the little seen Zack and Miri Make a Porno, so taking his skills to the buddy cop genre I was happy to come along for the ride.

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Bruce Willis as Jimmy: Jimmy is a proud New York cop. He's also in charge of paying for his daughter's $50,000 wedding. So he's got to sell that valuable baseball card. Does this sound like an interesting plot? Keep in mind, there are no jokes attached to this at all. So that's it. In fact, I can only think of one time that Willis does anything funny, and that's when he calls himself White Lightening. That's in the first five minutes of the film. Otherwise this could have been anyone. Score: 3

Tracy Morgan as Paul: I find Morgan funny. I also am not sure if anything he says in this film is actually in the script. Dancing and running around in a cell-phone suit is funny. He just didn't need to be in a basic buddy cop movie. Score: 6

Guillermo Díaz as Poh Boy: This is the worst caricature of a villain I have seen in a long, long time. He's reduced to a slow-motion walk while Cypress Hill or House of Pain is playing. They used both, and I forget which was blaring at this exact moment. Díaz has proved he can play a similar role in the TV show "Weeds" but here, he's supposed to actually make us fear him, and it's simply lame, uninspired and a waste of his talent and our time. Score: 1

Seann William Scott as Dave: Yes, it's sophomoric humor. Actually, it's elementary school humor. He repeats things, and has whispered secrets with Morgan. I'm shocked I laughed. Maybe I was just desperate, because nothing else was funny. Score: 6

Rest of Cast: Kevin Pollak and Adam Brody are cops reduced to talking about fancy boots. There's not reason for Ana de la Reguera as Gabriela to exist. Jason Lee plays the new husband and actually makes some good points when dealing with Jimmy and his income. Rashida Jones' character is married to Paul because?... Score: 2

TALKING: Paul quotes a ton of movies (from Scarface to Dirty Dancing) while interrogating a suspect in the beginning of the film. It's funny. It's also a farce. This would obviously never happen. Yet the rest of the film is based in the regular world. It's such a disconnect that it immediately makes the plot worthless, and then you are just waiting to laugh, which happens way to infrequently. Score: 3

SIGHTS: Smith is able to capture the look of a bad 80's cop buddy flick. It's a homage. But the problem is there is no comedy in this plot. None. Score: 3

SOUNDS: "Black Betty" is a great song, but is clearly overused in films at this point. The rest of the music is old school rap and tunes like "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." Plus, the score really sounds like a bad imitation of Beverly Hills Cop. Score: 4

PLOT SPOILERS

BEST SCENE: I guess I am going with the first scene with Paul interrogating and Jimmy watching. When the first scene is the best, it makes the next two hours feel pretty painful.

ENDING: The wedding? You end it on the wedding? I never cared about this couple and neither did the film since I don't even thing we see the face of the groom.

QUESTIONS: Why? Why so lazy Kevin Smith?

REWATCHABILITY: See questions.

OVERALL

Kevin Smith has never made such a lazy film. I didn't think it was possible. At least Cop Out sounded good when it was called A Couple of Dicks. Stereotypical Mexican gangs, dealing with a potentially cheating wife, and a baseball card are just some of the things you'll have to sit through for a couple of minutes of comedy. Plus, the comedy has nothing to do with the plot. Morgan making us laugh and Scott being a copycat could have existed in any type of genre, so why on Earth did Smith feel the need to make this movie? Sitting there, feeling the clock slowing tick by, I was able to come up with a film that would have worked. After the first scene with Paul doing all those bad movie quotes, he could have messed up his lines ... and the director would have yelled, "Cut." That's right. It's a movie within a movie. The real-life Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis would have realized how bad and ordinary this script was, and walked out ... to become real policemen. After all, Willis has done it enough in films to think he could pull it off, and Morgan is crazy. It works. Then you can have them going through training and accidentally stumbling on to a big case. Done and done. I'm not saying it's great, but at least there's a chance for some sort of plot that matters. Otherwise, you just feel like a dick with Smith's obvious cop out.

FINAL SCORE: 3/10