Quickcard Review French Roast

Directed by: Fabrice O. Joubert Running Time: 8 minutes

PLOT: A man is stuck at a cafe drinking coffee, trying to figure out how to pay after he loses his wallet.

OVERALL

This is CGI, but it's below anything you're used to seeing in a Pixar flick. This short is just not sweet enough, and I'm not talking about the hundreds of cups of coffee this guy drinks. There is a homeless man and a little old lady involved. Probably my favorite part is the homeless man's flies. Plus, I really didn't understand the confusion when a robber enters the mix.

FINAL SCORE: 4/10

The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)

Directed by: Javier Recio Gracia Running Time: 8 minutes

PLOT: An old woman has lived a long life, and when she dies, the grim reaper and a doctor fight over her survival.

OVERALL

There are going to be many people who are turned off by the plot. It starts with a sweet song and the old woman looking forward to being with her husband in the afterlife. Quickly, it's making light of death. It's kind of funny. It's kind of disturbing. I guess the doctor is the villain here and the grim reaper is just trying to do his job. The funniest moment is when the grim reaper gets stuck listening to elevator music. It almost turns into an animated Benny Hill. The CGI quality here is a little better than French Roast.

FINAL SCORE: 6/10

Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty

Directed by: Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell Running Time: 6 minutes

PLOT: A disturbed grandmother tells her sweet grandchild a warped bedtime story.

OVERALL

This was my least favorite of the group, but it was also the shortest. It's supposed to be funny that a grandmother would take out all her issues with the world on the kid, but then why does she also have moments of sweetness? The CGI is weak at best, but the two-dimensional used in the fairytale looks lovely. When a grandmother repeated says "Die, die, die," you'd better hope it's funny.

FINAL SCORE: 3/10

Logorama

Directed by: Nicolas Schmerkin Running Time: 17 minutes

PLOT: In a world with advertising and logos walking around town, a Michelin cop is chasing down a renegade Ronald McDonald.

OVERALL

Winner winner, chicken dinner. Half the time you'll just be looking around and seeing what ads you recognize, like Pizza Hut, Nintendo and the Mr. Clean tour guide. Half the time you'll be floored by the action, language and blood. Half the time you won't really get what you are watching. Wait, that's three halves. Screw it, this short is worth it. I guess the big picture purpose is to show our dependence on oil, but I could be totally off on that. More importantly, this is a chase flick that gets the job done.

FINAL SCORE: 8/10

A Matter of Loaf and Death

Directed by: Nick Park Running Time: 29 minutes

PLOT: The title, A Matter of Loaf and Death, might not stand out in a crowd, but how about Wallace and Gromit's A Matter of Loaf and Death. Yeah, I thought that was a big difference. Here, Wallace meets a woman, and Gromit has his doubts. Plus, bakers are being murdered.

OVERALL

It's just as good as you would expect. If you know the Wallace and Gromit world, you'll get more of the same. If you don't, then this is a good place to start. I'm surprised this can qualify. But I looked it up, and a short is simply something shorter than 45 minutes. This kind of feels like cheating though. Why don't other things attempt to qualify? Shouldn't Clone Wars on Comedy Central create a separate episode, just to try and win? What about Family Guy? Maybe winning an Oscar doesn't have the allure I think it does.

FINAL SCORE: 7/10

WHAT SHOULD WIN THE OSCAR FOR BEST ANIMATED SHORT? Logorama

WHAT WILL WIN THE OSCAR FOR BEST ANIMATED SHORT? A Matter of Loaf and Death