When in Rome Directed by: Mark Steven Johnson Cast: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Anjelica Huston, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Danny Devito Running Time: 1 hr 30 min Rating: PG-13 Release Date: January 28, 2010

PLOT: Beth (Bell) is a workaholic love-a-phobe dealing with a spotty history with jackass ex-boyfriends. While in Rome for her little sister's wedding, Beth gets a bit tipsy and starts taking wishing coins out of a fountain of love; she doesn't realize that when you take someone else's wishing coin, they instantly fall in love with you and trail after you like lovestruck zombies. Let the wackiness ensue.

WHO'S IT FOR? Anyone who feels like a mindless romantic comedy with a genuinely adorable cast, although you might give serious consideration to just renting it.

EXPECTATIONS: Hoping for cute and funny, while predicting idiotic swill--ended up somewhere in between.

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Kristen Bell as Beth: I really like Kristen Bell. In my mind, she's Tinkerbell in the flesh: a cute, blond pixie with her bright little eyes and her darling smile. Luckily, she's there to charm the pants off you, which will mostly distract you from the horrible, lunatic smarminess of it all...oh, and the blinding flaws in the plot. Mostly, you won't notice and if you do notice, you might not care--she's just that cute. Nevermind that the story presents her as level-headed and independent, but she spends the bulk of the movie acting like a psychotic manic-depressive. Bell is so likable despite the schizophrenic character, so it's ALMOST believable that Duhamel would keep trying so hard. By the fifth time that she sobbed, "It's just not real to you," into my face with no explanation, I'd write her off as unstable and go find someone else to woo. Score: 7

Josh Duhamel as Nick: Know who's just as big a cutie-pie as Kristen Bell? Josh Duhamel, that's who. And thank goodness, because the movie needs as much amiability as it can squeeze out of these two. Nick and Beth hit it off at Beth's sister's wedding and it feels authentic; these seem to be two people who would hit it off. Their chemistry is very sweet and they are a funny combination anyway--when they stand next to each other, he looks like he's 9 feet tall and she's lilliputian. Nick is your garden variety "ideal" Hollywood guy: he's endearing and humble and self-aware; he has no emotional baggage; he's handsome and wonderful and perfect and he'll put up with whatever crazy antics he has to from Bell, because gosh darned, she's his soul mate! He's that cruel desert mirage that continues to haunt us women, but somehow it's okay when Duhamel is doing it. Why is that? Score: 6

Anjelica Huston as Celeste: It's a throw-away part, but Huston is good no matter what she does. She's trying for Miranda in The Devil Wears Prada, but she doesn't quite hit the mark. Unlike Miranda, who was layered and complex and secretly vulnerable along with mildly evil, Celeste is just a hard ass without any suitable back story. Score: 7

Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard and Danny Devito as the Stalkers: Clearly the movie doesn't refer to this quartet as "the stalkers," because stalking is too creepy and ominous to shoe-horn into a romantic comedy...be that as it may, they are crazy, scary stalkers. I don't care if they have a few funny lines (although, there's a nice little surprise in there for all you Napoleon Dynamite fans), they are unhinged. At one point Arnett chases Bell through a park yelling after her, "I love you!" Heder breaks into her apartment. Devito follows her around, trying to give her his sausages (he's the Sausage King, you see). Shepard dresses up as her and trails her through the city. Not even in make believe land does any of that behavior constitute goofy fun. Score: 2

TALKING: Sure, you have your formulaic moments where you can basically lip-sync along with the screen because you know EXACTLY what's coming--but then the movie has some little gems up its sleeve. There are some really cute lines in When in Rome, especially in the banter between Bell and Duhamel. Score: 6

SIGHTS: Cheesy and with too much swoony slow-mo. Aside from one really inventive, funny scene that takes place in a pitch dark restaurant (I won't go into it, but the concept is still cool), there is absolutely nothing original or surprising about the look of the movie. Here's a food metaphor: eat three pounds of sweet tarts on an empty stomach and then describe how you feel. That's how I feel about trying to describe the sights in When in Rome. Score: 3

SOUNDS: Picture me shrugging my shoulders. Not out of confusion, but because it just didn't strike me either way. The soundtrack is generic and songs are shoved, willy-nilly into scenes to complement a few minutes of the scene before completely vanishing again. It could easily be the same soundtrack used for any other romantic comedy and no one would pick up on it. It's the watered down drink of romantic comedy soundtracks. Score: 4

PLOT SPOILERS

BEST SCENE: There are two really cute scenes. The first takes place in the aforementioned darkened restaurant and the second takes place in a teeny European car. The scene where Beth attempts to break a vase to signify happiness in her sister's marriage is also very funny, but the previews already made light of that.

ENDING: My God, really? Is there even an attempt at a twist, because the movie seems to think it's too sly. You'll know from the get-go everything that's going to happen and therefore the unnecessary, 2nd ending is a huge duh. In keeping with the formula I guess it has to happen but couldn't it have been a bit more interesting? Geez, people.

QUESTIONS: What are the odds that these two wonderful, attractive, successful, practical people would both be single? Why doesn't the main character ever explain to everyone why he or she is acting like a fruitcake? Why isn't Beth more concerned that Jon Heder broke into her apartment with zero effort? Why was the rest of the theater so enormously besotted with When in Rome? It wasn't terrible, but it was nuthin' to write home about.

REWATCHABILITY: Nah.

OVERALL

When in Rome oscillates too wildly between adorable and acutely unrealistic. Case in point--at the end the stalkers all learn a valuable lesson about themselves...REALLY? Did that really just happen? Are we having an "And I'll miss you most of all Scarecrow" moment with four obsessed weirdos? But then rewind five minutes and I'm enjoying a fun, cute scene with likable main characters. The critic sitting next to me kept up a constant stream of derisive snorts, but everyone else in the theater was all agog with cheery laughter. So, maybe When in Rome is like some sort of warped, schmaltzy Rorschach and whatever it is that you see is supposed to tell you something profound about your psyche...or something. The critics will say it's super inane and the romantic comedy audience will say it's cute as a bug in a rug, and the problem is they're both right: it IS totally inane and it IS as adorable as a fluffy bunny. If you like romantic comedies, I think you and When in Rome will get along just fine, but again, I'd highly recommend you wait and rent it.

FINAL SCORE: 5/10