Cheri Directed by: Stephen Frears Cast: Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Friend, Kathy Bates Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: R Release Date: June 26, 2009

Plot: A high class prostitute (Pfeiffer) falls in love with Cheri (Friend), the son of her old rival, Madame Peloux (Bates).

Who’s It For? There's little entertainment value in the film, but those who are really into costuming will get their kicks.

Expectations: From a quick glance, the trailer had me hoping this was going to have the same type of poisonous juiciness that made seemingly stiff period pieces like Dangerous Liaisons delectable. Plus, with the casting on Pfeiffer, one can only really expect cougar hunting.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Michelle Pfeiffer as as Lea de Lonval: It doesn't take more than a monocle to see that the woman who once zipped up the tight rubber suit of Catwoman has now evolved into a full blown cougar. However, her performance isn't able to keep up with her looks. While she pours herself right into the seductive shoes of ex-high class prostitute Lea de Lonval, she isn't convincing with her portrayal of the character, fitting awkwardly into this period role. Score: 5

Rupert Friend as Cheri: Along with his piercing eyes and Jack White hair, Friend looks like he's going for Robert Pattinson's penetrating stare. At times this expression leans towards blank, and Cheri, the Benjamin Braddock (The Graduate) at the center of this tryst, becomes another cub who is blank faced by his desire to be with his older sexual partner. Score: 5

Kathy Bates as Madame Peloux: Much of Cheri's yawn-worthy moments happen during Bates' prim and proper appearances. Her character's primary existence of being a quaint chatter is completely boring. And outside of her actions, Madame Peloux isn't credited with much of an emotional core. We don't understand how she feels about her son's relationship with Lea de Lonval, and we don't know what she thinks of much else. We only know she wants grandchildren. Score: 5

Talking: Much of the spice is discussed in boring tea chats that are drab small talks. The dialogue before, during, or after moments of passion isn't that much remarkable either. My, how much the lackluster Cheri would have benefited from the "Lubitsch Touch" - sharp tongues that bring a bit saucy entertainment to otherwise cosmopolitan settings. Score: 4

Sights: The production design is magnificent. Cheri is another achievement for period costuming, allowing vibrant colors both from the outfits and the locations bring a little vibrance to an otherwise gray story. Considering this area, if Cheri isn't mentioned at the next Oscar's, it will be because it was simply forgotten - not overlooked. Score: 9

Sounds: The London Symphony Orchestra performs a score written by Alexandre Desplat that sounds as if it were meant for a Harry Potter movie. Instead of being vicious yet sophisticated, it's far too mystical. This comes as a bit of disappointment, considering the mastery of moods Desplat showed with his score for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Score: 4

PLOT SPOILERS

Best Scene: Difficult to find a scene. The credit sequence presents a brief history about the high class prostitute, which is always interesting to know, I suppose.

Ending: After Lea de Lonval returns from her spiteful sexual sabbatical, Cheri runs to her side. Then they realize once again that maybe they aren't meant to be together.

Questions: Looking at Madame Peloux, were people so selfish that they would sell out their friends and family for the sake of grandchildren? 



Rewatchability: There's no goods here to be experienced again, unless boredom has now become a form of entertainment.

OVERALL

Despite whatever actions they are given by the script, the chemistry between Pfeiffer and Friend is a bit humdrum. There’s barely any sparks in their courtship, as their foray into “love” just assumes the position and carries on for six years. When the two are separated by Madame Peloux's selfish want for grandchildren, Cheri doesn’t become any more sophisticated, as it wallows in both character’s self misery about losing a good booty call.

Was this a story found in a French novel or in the trashy novel bargain bin at the supermarket? With slow moving events and milk-toast characters, this film struggles to maintain a flame that might just service a candle. For a movie with so much sex, Cheri is too flaccid to be enjoyed.

Final Score: 4/10