The Scorecard Review

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Death Race

Death RaceDirected by: Paul W.S. Anderson Cast: Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Tyrese Gibson and Ian McShane Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: R

Plot: In the near future, prisons are run by corporations and Death Race is bigger than the Super Bowl. Jensen (Statham) is framed to become the next great driver.

Who’s It For? It's a fairly boring action movie that fails to just give us an awesome "Death Race." There is some pretty violent moments so it definitely earns its R rating. If you'll sit through anything for some blood, then you won't mind the absurd leaps and bounds Death Race attempts to take with a straight face.

Expectations: I was nervous. Event Horizon, Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil are all directed by Anderson and Allen's presence had me scratching my head.

SCORECARD (1-10)

Actors: Jason Statham as Jensen Ames/Frankenstein: He seemed perfect for this role. But then they saddled him with a wife that gets murdered and a kid he forgets until the second half of the film. Looking ahead I don't see it getting any better with Crank 2 and Transporter 3 on the way. Yes, Transporter was fun to laugh at and had a couple of bas ass action scenes, but don't tell me it's a good movie. Score: 4

Tyrese Gibson as Machine Gun Joe: I think it's great when you take a character and make him a homosexual and act like it's no big deal, but I'm thinking the real reason for this was so he would go through all those men as co-pilots instead of killing women. And if this race is all about ratings, why would they let Joe have his choice? Never mind, again I am trying to rationalize a ridiculous film. Can't be done. But I guess Joe is deep and thoughtful because he scars himself for every life lost. Score: 3

Joan Allen as Hennessey: She doesn't get me fired up, and hating her is the whole point of her character. Hennessey is clearly a control freak who constantly makes the stupidest decisions possible, including signing release letters for anyone she hopes to kill later. I also love that "society" would allow her to let killing machine criminals go free after five wins. Man, what a future we are heading towards. Score: 2

Ian McShane as Coach: He does his best "Get busy living, or get busy dying" Shawshank impression, and he's the best part of the film. I wish he would have taken more of a role in souping up the car, like Q in James Bond. Score: 5

Natalie Martinez as Eye Candy: Oh wait, I guess her character name is Case, but come on, we know the only reason she's in the film. Heck, she gets two slow motion scenes exciting from cars. Score: 4

Talking: The ... entire ... first ... 30 ... minutes .... is drawn out in what could have been accomplished in 10. People are putting their butts in the seats for the race, don't make them wait through the boring dialogue. Score: 2

Sights & Sounds: Slim Thug's "Click Clack Motherf**kers" is the only song to attempt to pump up the crowd. This would have been a great chance for a constant barrage of rap vs. heavy metal to go along with the Machine Gun Joe vs. Frankenstein theme. The races are suffering from SCS (Shaky Camera Syndrome). The cars, tracks and weapons all blend together. And why even have machine guns if they never kill anyone? Score: 3

OVERALL Cars, babes and guns. Stop, that's enough to entertain. I love the phrase, "Keep it simple, stupid." But in this case, Death Race should have just "kept it stupid." Besides character names this is not a remake of the B-movie classic Death Race 2000. Instead we are treated to a film about a control freak warden a few years from now who arranges a murder to win over a driver, who she wants dead anyway. I would love a point/counterpoint with the director and writer of this movie. For anyone making the next Running Man, The Condemned or Death Race, go campy, not serious. Make blood spew like Kill Bill, have the women wearing less, run over the elderly like in Death Race 2000. It should have been an overly violent, comical Mario Kart, instead they don't even finish the race. This is not a remake, this is a title take. Score: 3 out of 10