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This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

The Rocker

The RockerDirected by: Peter Cattaneo Cast: Rainn Wilson, Teddy Geiger, Christina Applegate, Emma Stone Time: 1 hr 30 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: Robert 'Fish' Fishman was the drummer in the band Vesuvius, but just before they hit it big, they kicked him out. Now it's 20 years later and Fish has a second chance ... only this time it's with his nephew's high school band A.D.D.

Who’s It For? If you've missed out on your dreams, maybe this film will be a nice venting experience for you. It's School of Rock mixed in with Rock Star but not as strong as either.

Expectations: Is Rainn Wilson only capable of being the great Dwight Schrute? That's the question. He's not normally what you would think of for leading man material, plus, would his awful looking hair drive me insane?

SCORECARD (1-10)

Actors: Rainn Wilson as Fish: For someone who is die hard heavy metal, he seems to switch to pop a little too easy. Fish is constantly spooning out good advice about taking chances, believing in yourself, and adoring the creation of music, but his actions don't mimic that. The rise to the top isn't all that fun because he's acting like an idiot. Score: 5

Teddy Geiger as Curtis: Am I the only one who saw the short-lived TV show "Love Monkey"? Geiger is playing the exact same character again. He's got that 'dream boat' quality which is kind of painful to watch. He's just a little too much Jonas Brothers instead of Josh Ritter. Score: 4

Christina Applegate as Kim: When she kept Fish at a distance and made fun of him, it was great. When she kissed Fish to get him to stop talking ... yeah, that's just a movie device. The Applegate's don't kiss the Wilson's of this world. Score: 6

Emma Stone as Amelia: The odd longing and hopefulness of the relationship between Amelia and Curtis plays out just like you imagine it would. Stone proves she'll be around longer than just Superbad, but doesn't come close to topping that role. Score: 5

Talking: "I like to rock a pocket of puke." That's one of the gems that Fish relays to the kids. The problem is you just don't know if you feel sorry for him, root for him, or agree with people would think this 40-year-old is nuts. Jason Sudeikis's role is as an annoying manager whose goal is to say things that aren't funny, so the band can role their eyes. Mission accomplished. Yippee. Score: 4

Sights & Sounds: Vesuvius rocks. Or at least the actors who have joined forces to create the fake band do ... Will Arnett, Fred Armisen, Bradley Cooper and Lonny Ross. Geiger's Curtis can definitely craft a pop tune, but we pass too much time listening to the music. Score: 5

OVERALL It seems like The Rocker has garnered an All-Star TV line up of actors. From Rainn Wilson to Bradley Cooper and Jeff Garlin you'll recognize tons of faces, but we never hit peak entertainment. The prat falls and naked jokes don't eek out enough humor, and Wilson's Fish never becomes someone you can truly root for. Fish should be the side character, but when Curtis leads the way it doesn't work either. The rise to stardom for the band A.D.D. should have been slowed down to a crawl, but realism must not have been a goal. Luckily, there is nothing awful about this film, so when "The Office" starts up in September, Dwight can still entertain despite his need to show his sweaty backside to the world as a rocker. Score: 5 out of 10

Hamlet 2

Box Office Review - August 17, 2008