Plot: Charles (Dane Cook) seems to be the lucky charm for women. Whenever he sleeps with a woman, the next man she meets, she marries. This means women flock to him, so when Charles finally meets someone he truly cares about in Cam (Jessica Alba), she’s nervous about his track record, and he’s nervous if the curse is really true. Who’s it for: But the bottom line is this: If you want to see boobs and Jessica Alba, you’ll see this movie. This will be the perfect late-night Cinemax film. Oh, and if you make your living working with penguins, I’d be curious if you love all the penguin jokes or they drive you nuts.

Expectations: Based on the preview, it just looked like Alba was going to fall down over and over ... and over. There wasn’t one joke in the preview besides that, so it seemed “Good Luck Chuck” would be about a guy named Chuck who wanted to be with a really hot, really klutzy girl.

SCORECARD

Actors:

Dane Cook as Charles: I would like to say Cook is overrated, but he’s never had a successful movie and people are starting to realize his stand-up isn’t that good. So it seems Cook is rated just fine. Eventually, mild-mannered Charles turns psychotic in his relationship with Cam and gives you the creeps the rest of the film. Not exactly what you want out of a leading man. Grade: 2

Jessica Alba as Cam: Quick, name all the great acting performances by Alba … OK, none of the above was the correct answer. She always looks great, but rarely delivers. Here, she’s Cam, a penguin expert who is insanely clumsy. She spills, burns, stabs and electrocutes Charles before their first date, which he doesn’t seem to mind because Alba looks like Alba. Grade: 4

Talking: The sidekick in the film is Stu (Dan Fogler from “Balls of Fury”). He’s spewing vile jokes in rapid fire as a plastic surgeon obsessed with breasts. Unfortunately his accuracy is off, and he only seems to be connecting about 10 percent of the time. Grade: 3

Sights and sounds: Well, there’s two different scenes involving very obese people and the potential of sex. It seems for one of them the goal is to elicit tears from the audience; your guess is as good as mine for the other. For all you die-hard Alba fans, you do get a hint of a strip tease. Grade: 4

OVERALL

Apparently someone out there thought it would be a good idea to capitalize on American’s love for penguins AND gross-out comedies. Sure, “March of the Penguins” and “Superbad” were both successes, but that doesn’t mean they should join forces. When Alba falls, Cook delivers bland comebacks that don’t qualify as jokes. It’s unfortunate because there’s a fun idea here about a man realizing women think he’s a lucky charm. But “Good Luck Chuck” should have made Charles a womanizer on the path to redemption instead of a nice guy nervous to say the L-word. Instead, we’re given all the basic pieces of a romantic-comedy (montage, mistake in the relationship, chase to win her back) and they don’t add up to a coherent film at all. Apparently wishing “Chuck” good luck isn’t enough.

Overall Grade: 3