Plot: First, you must know that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are exactly that, mutated turtles, who are trained by Master Splinter (a rat) in the ways of a ninja. This particular adventure starts with the turtles each doing their own thing as Leonardo is off learning how to be a true leader. Here’s where things get a little scattered. It seems 3,000 years ago, a ruler found a gateway to another dimension. This froze his evil friends, granted him eternal life and released 13 evil monsters in the world. Now he’s trying to do it all over again and it’s the turtles’ job to stop him. Who’s it for: Kids. It’s animated, which was a good call. There isn’t any adult humor or inside jokes to speak of and the plot doesn’t really make sense, which should bother anyone older. But the kids won’t mind.

Expectations: I used to watch the cartoon, but never got into the toys. I would have been appalled if they would have tried another live-action film (though I think Vanilla Ice is still available). After walking into the theater, my hope was to not hate kids, I was surrounded by them.

SCORECARD

Actors: Patrick Stewart and Sarah Michelle Gellar are the most recognizable voices with Laurence Fishburne giving a quick narration in the beginning. The accents bothered me the most from the other characters. Splinter’s new voice just doesn’t fit. I’ve checked and Peter Renaday, who voiced Splinter on the animated show, is still alive. They should have gotten him. Grade: 5 Talking: Michelangelo is still doing the “cowabunga, dude!” thing, and it’s gotten old. No matter how much money this movie makes, that catchphrase CANNOT make it back into our society. Besides that, the storyline doesn’t offer much fun. The turtles are arguing, depressed or bored throughout the first half of the film. Leonardo and Raphael are constantly bickering, and none of this is done with any humor. Grade: 3 Sights and sounds: The animation looks pretty good. There are definitely moments that stand out, such as Michelangelo skateboarding in the sewer, and Leonardo and Raphael dueling in the rain. Personally, I would be willling to sit through more of these if it wasn’t for the story. In fact, I am a firm believer that superheroes, “Star Wars,” “Lord of the Rings,” “Star Trek” and all the others can live on through animation as long as the plot is solid. Grade: 7

SPOILERS

Best Scene: Once we are told there were 13 monsters on the loose, I assumed we would get to spend most of the film watching the turtles track these monsters down. I was wrong. We only got to see Raphael go after one, and it proved to be the highlight of the film. The little monster was funny and it didn’t hurt that “Black Betty” was thumping in the background. I love that song. This scene is the perfect example of what the writers should have been going after the entire time.

Ending: You’ll never guess who saves the day ... heroes in a half shelf plus April, Splinter and Casey. Turtle power. If this film makes enough money, they have indicated a sequel will follow, perhaps with Shredder making a comeback.

Unanswered questions: I could try and tear apart the plot holes, but I keep telling myself it’s just a cartoon. The title is what’s truly odd. Everyone under 35 should recognize "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," but TMNT is not familiar unless you're more of a die-hard fan. Why lose your name recognition?"

Rewatchability: No. Thankfully I don’t have a 9-year-old in the house, so I won’t have to watch it on repeat.

Overall: It was a great decision to animate this feature film. The great decisions end there. Unfortunely, “TMNT” doesn’t spend nearly enough time having fun. The turtles waste time being seperated and then arguing about being reunited. Plus, they would have been better off bringing back Shredder than trying to introduce a plot children can’t follow and adults won’t want to.

Overall Grade: 4