This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

Twelve - Blu-ray

Blu-ray Review


Directed by: Joel Schumacher Cast: Chace Crawford, Emma Roberts, Curtis Jackson, Rory Culkin, Kiefer Sutherland Running Time: 1 hr 35 mins Rating: R Due Out: December 28, 2010

PLOT: An intersecting tale mainly focused on drug dealer White Mike as he is torn between the mean streets of New York and the fabulous party lifestyle of the upper East side. Things start to change for White Mike with the introduction of a new drug, twelve.

WHO'S IT FOR? Fans of Gossip Girl are probably used to the crap that Chace Crawford puts out so they might not hate it, but this movie is mainly for fans of the cast more than anything else.

MOVIE: Twelve is an interesting kind of movie. It doesn't seem to have much to say other than a Mr. Garrison's "Drugs are bad, mmkay?" occasionally and even that is a bit of a stretch. Instead, it's filled wall to wall with tired scenes that we've seen over and over before and weren't even that good to begin with.

Soft focus drug montage? Got it. Rich pretty people with expensive drug habits? Got it. Self congratulatory and an undeserved sense of entitlement? Boy, does this film have it in spades.

Still, Twelve isn't just filled with cliches from drug movies. It also manages to pick the corpses of better films for any sense of innovation or style. Remember the faceless narrator of Little Children? Twelve take a similar approach, but uses him to over explain everything, including a senseless monologue about the contents of one character's wallet, including where he got his fake ID from. It sounds like an excerpt from Hubert Selby Jr. minus the literary prowess.

If I had to boil it down to one thing, I would say that the over explanations and the details of the film are what kill what little potential it had. Sure, I know where Claude got his fake ID from, but why do I care that he has a fake ID or where he bought it? Twelve never sets out to answer these questions. Instead, it is content with its half-hearted portrait of the drug scene in NYC as characters flit in and out of the frame, with little explanation.

In the end Twelve ends up being little more than an art school cliche filled with sex, drugs, and slow mo to keep viewers intrigued, but it doesn't do much else.



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