DVD Review
Ghost of Girlfriends Past
Directed by: Mark Waters Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG-13 Due Out: September 22, 2009
PLOT: A successful photographer (McConaughey) who scrooges women for a hobby is visited by three … Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
WHO'S IT FOR?: The dating crowd – particularly those who share the on-screen ages of Garner and McConaughey. Of course, this really just means anyone desperate for an easily digestible romantic comedy.
MOVIE:
While I have the seemingly rare opportunity of being able to say I have never had sex with Matthew McConaughey, I can hang my head in “morning after” shame by acknowledging I was another player in his flirtatious brain games. In the beginning of the film, my repulsion towards his overtness turned into an ironic intrigue. A few legitimate laughs from the movie had me thinking maybe he wasn’t so bad, that he (or this film) might actually be kind of different than those “others.” Then when McConaughey amped up his uber-misogynist charm, I began to realize I had become another sucker to this seductive strategist – I was guilty of being another pawn.
To this character, being a man requires using women. One of McConaughey’s more haunting roles, Connor is classic scum with accelerated boneheadedness, whose awful thoughts about women are rewarded with even more female tail. Maybe this role might be less disgusting if it were played by someone that didn’t embody the role so easily, all while never dropping that obnoxious grin.
One of Connor’s dreams involves him re-viewing every woman he’s ever “been” with. The number of female extras used in this scene boggles the mind, as that amount could be used to start a decent coup (against all things McConaughey, one would hope). Less disheartening than the amount of human tissues Connor has in his history is the lack of his bare chest. Not once does Mr. Love Boat show off his body, never mind his deck.
Douglas’ imitation of Hollywood producer Robert Evans is not given the amount of screen time that would be expected, despite his pivotal influence on the character of Connor Mead. He shows up on right when he’s expected, but not a second more. When he is on screen, Douglas is a mildly amusing instructional manual on how to be slimier and smoother than his haircut. Hey, if movies like Traffic can teach us how to buy and sell drugs, why not more advice on how to be oversexed, slimeball pond scum?
MOVIE SCORE: 3/10
EXTRAS
Widescreen and Full Screen Versions
OTHER EXTRAS:
None
EXTRAS SCORE: 1/10
OVERALL
At its best, this Ghosts of Girlfriends Past seems to capture the on-screen soul of McConaughey like a Ghostbusters’ proton pack. But it’s all too late before we realize the overall charm of this film, along with its life and blood, is as stale as the trio of long hair, silk shirts, and even Zima.
FINAL SCORE: 2/10