TOP 7 Actors Who Should Play Father & Son
We start the Top 7. You finish the Top 10.
In honor of That's My Boy, a comedy that pairs together Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg as father and son, let's imagine other pairs of actors who would make for dynamic father/son duos, complete with plot summaries.
READ Nick Allen's "That's My Boy" Scorecard Review (2/10)
Here are the TOP 7 Actors Who Should Play Father & Son in a film.
7. Christopher Plummer ("Priest") & Michael Fassbender ("Prometheus")
Tentative Title: "Ice Cream Men" Pitch: Fassbender plays the world's biggest Cher fan, who earns his keep by driving an ice cream truck for a picky boss (played by Jackie Chan) to the different towns of Death Valley. When his truck gets a flat tire for running over a varmint that also ate a bunch of nails, he calls upon his retired mechanic dad (Plummer) to fix it. However, the fix-up job isn't fast enough, and the ice cream is melting. To save his car from smelling like Spider-Man gumball eye lemon frozen treats, the two have to eat all of the ice cream — by any creams necessary.
6. Nicolas Cage ("Bangkok Dangerous") & Tom Hardy ("The Dark Knight Rises")
Tentative Title: "Words with Dads" Pitch: Spike (Hardy) is a champion at the famous phone game "Words with Friends." His father who "lost" him one day at a gun show, (Nicolas Cage playing himself) is also a master at the game. The two live very different lives; Hardy is a man addicted to shopping who lives with a roommate who constantly leaves the refrigerator open (played by Jackie Chan) and Cage is an actor who makes many unfortunate choices. Fate brings them together, however, when they are set to play each other randomly on the game that defines them. The two enjoy the fierce competition, and eventually they start talking. There's a big climactic scene in which Hardy, suspicious that his never forgotten father might be on the other end of his phone signal, texts this message to Cage's character: "w8 R u my dadt? ... *Dad?"
5. Woody Allen ("Scenes from a Mall") & Michael Cera ("I Was a Rat")
Tentative Title: "Lady Killaz" Pitch: In this story more conventionally meant for teen heartthrobs, Allen plays Chad, a man going through his second mid-life crisis after his twelfth wife leaves him. On top of this, the world stops selling typewriter ink. Down in the dumps, he decides to move in with his son, Chazzz (Cera), who lives a life full of women. In this wacky twist on a typical arc, it's up to Chazzz to teach dad Chad how to win the hearts of girls - including the scam of acting awkward around them, but not too awkward. When Chad falls for a woman (January Jones) he meets at a garbage dump, he has to win her heart over the woman's other suitor, and one of Chazzz's former customers (played by Jackie Chan). This movie features the first scene in which Woody Allen kickflips someone in the face.
4. Clint Eastwood ("Revenge of the Tarantula") & Vanilla Ice ("That's My Boy")
Tentative Title: "Gran Torino 2" Pitch: This one takes place after the ending credits of Gran Torino. The moment after young neighbor Thao speeds away in Eastwood's title vehicle, a man busts into the room and says, "Aww hell no!" It's Vanilla Ice, as Vanilla Ice, and he is revealed to be Walt Kowalski's long lost son. The rest of the movie is about Vanilla Ice and his friend (played by Jackie Chan) trying to jack back his dead dad's "whip" from Thao, with Eastwood providing the voice of the car, as his spirit is literally now in the engine. After Thao claims the car is now legally his, the third act then rips off the court scene in Air Bud, with Vanilla Ice and Thao trying to plead for Walt to choose them over the other. Walt the Gran Torino speaks his peace, but gets fatally interrupted when he is shot again by a group of thugs that mistake him for a tank. So, it's more like the last part of Air Bud meets the spirit of Cop Dog meets Gran Torino all over again. But this time, Vanilla Ice rap-rocks over Eastwood's former "Gran Torino" theme.
3. Philip Seymour Hoffman ("Twister") & Leonardo DiCaprio ("Critters 3")
Tentative Title: "Arby's Sonata" Pitch: DiCaprio, with a snaggle tooth and a criminally outdated mullet, plays Don, a night-shift employee of a health code-violating fast food joint. His lame boss also happens to be his dad, Ron, (Hoffman). In this dialogue-heavy drama, which is like an Ingmar Bergman chamber play at Arby's, the two are stuck working together by chance when their co-worker Chet (played by Jackie Chan) gets lost in the very unhygienic ball pit. The tension between the two workers explodes when Ron finally accuses Don of putting his penis inside the chocolate shake maker. The film reaches its climax when Ron reveals to Don that he will be in love with the chocolate shake maker forever. The dialogue is full of the actors screaming at each other, with Hoffman saying numerous times, "Shut up! Shut the f**k up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut-shut-shut-shut-shut up! Shut up!" Both actors will get Oscar nominations, but will lose to Ryan Gosling playing a red sneaker in "Shoe Valentine."
2. Kevin Hart ("Think Like a Man") & Jacob Wysocki ("Terri")
Tentative Title: "Dad Trip" Pitch: It's a dramatic mumblecore movie, so it has got a small cast, and maybe Greta Gerwig's in it. More importantly, it's a dialogue-heavy road trip, like The Puffy Chair, but instead of having to fix up a couch, these two have to take the ashes of their dead dad/granddad (played by Jackie Chan) to a Toys 'R Us in Iowa (don't ask). Though the two have always had a strained father/son relationship (shown in glossy flashbacks) due to a legendary dispute over which one of them accidentally killed the mother, they learn to love each other through talking or whatever. Most importantly, no one ever questions that the two are father and son. Ever.
1. Daniel Day-Lewis ("The Ballad of Jack and Rose") & Larry the Cable Guy ("Delta Farce")
Tentative Title "Who Farted?" Pitch: In this twisting mystery story directed by Dennis Dugan (Jack and Jill), Daniel Day-Lewis plays Jebby Bedeb-Floop, an infamous fart detective, who is infamous for solving the most embarrassing of cases in the city of New York. When a loud flatulent disturbance disrupts the quaintness of a city's presidential dinner night, his character is called upon to investigate his toughest case yet. In fact, the case is so big he has to enlist his estranged Rhodes scholar son Rothwell (Larry the Cable Guy) to assist him, but he must teach him the trade first. It's a collision between street smarts, book smarts, and fart smarts. After an extensive montage and a wild chain of events, we find out who did indeed have classless gas - SPOILER ALERT - it was Mr. Who (played by Jackie Chan).