We start the Top 7. You finish the Top 10.
And just like that it's over. The 82nd Annual Academy Awards have come and gone.
I added up my thoughts on the night, and wouldn't you know it ... I had exactly seven. This is perfect, because we do TOP 7 lists here at The Scorecard Review. So as you can see, fate has brought us all here this morning/afternoon/night. Can you feel the goosebumps? Me too, me too.
It's been three days since the Oscars, but with our news-cycle it seems like three weeks. I remember a day (I'm only 33) when I had to wait an entire week to get my Entertainment Weekly recap of the awards. So please bear with me, if you've moved on to only care about what could possibly happen to Robert Pattinson in a film with the title of Remember Me.
I won't even refer to the production value of the Oscars in my Top 7 (because I'm going to do that now). The producer of the show should be let go. There were way too many times we were stuck watching famous actors barely react, instead of seeing what was actually going on, on stage. I want to see the stage, not Matt Damon looking mildly interested in what's happened. Sure, if you catch someone laughing big time, then that's great. Sure, if they've just handed an award to an African American, please show me a shot of Samuel L. Jackson. But otherwise, I want to see the action. Not the reaction. And now onto the Top 7 Final Thoughts from Oscar Night 2010.
7. Kathy Ireland is a train wreck that I need to see more. I have no idea why ABC thought Ireland should be a part of the Oscars. Is she under contract? Did they think ... "That insanely hot swimsuit model from 35-year-old men's childhood dreams would be perfect to talk with Morgan Freeman?" We don't know. I don't care. My favorite interview was her chat with Zac Efron. Just watch her right hand in the clip below. Best hand model ever. The four times she says good-bye to him is only topped when she pulls the mic away from him as he's saying, "and." She needs to be a sideline reporter for Monday Night Football. Never mind, I can't wait that long. Get the NBA to hire her now.
6. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin made it look easy. Actually, they made it look too easy. Neil Patrick Harris did the heavy lifting with a musical number that didn't really have enough humor or pizazz. "The biggest pair since Dolly Parton." Yeah, I think we need a new big breasted reference. Back to Martin and Baldwin ... what was the deal with Baldwin introducing the idea of 10 best picture nominations, and then referring to The Last Station and Invictus? Dam Helen Mirren vs. Dame Helen Mirren. They didn't take any chances with their humor, and I assume it was their idea to have George Clooney appear grumpy the whole night. That's a waste of a Clooney. One more note to the producer ... why didn't you tell Baldwin to stop clapping during the opening monologue? Martin & Baldwin were a weak mixed drink. Sure, you're glad you have something, you just expected more of a kick.
5. That bitch. I use that word sparingly, but when it fits, it fits. Roger Ross Williams had his one chance at an Oscar speech taken away by Elinor Burkett. Music for Prudence won for Best Documentary Short, and Burkett took the stage even though she was removed from the project for more than a year. Her opening line? "Isn't that just like a man not to let a woman talk?"
Read the full story at Salon.com with interviews from both individuals.
4. I think I like Sandra Bullock. I thought The Proposal was extremely average. All About Steve was god awful. The Blind Side was a good, Hollywoodized version of real life. That doesn't seem to be the point. I've never thought about Bullock before ... you know, the real person. And who knows exactly how much we got to know Bullock from her Best Actress acceptance speech, but I feel like I did. I like Sandy. I like that she makes fun of herself and continues to bring up her kiss with Meryl Streep. After all, that kiss was the best part of my awards show (I vote in the Critics' Choice Movie Awards).
3. Ted Robbins. I love when actors swap stories. The Best Actor and Best Actress categories received an extra bonus (better than last year's) when a fellow actor (and presumably friend) introduced their nomination. This is a good idea, but then again, it can lead to moments like S.W.A.T. Yes, that's the insanely forgettable film Colin Farrell referred to when speaking about Hurt Locker's Jeremy Renner. Was Farrell the only one there who knew Renner? This also gave us Andy Dufresne talking to Red. Being a friend is getting the other a cup of coffee, can you do that for me Ted? It is Ted isn't it?
2. The funniest thing from Oscar night wasn't even part of the show. It was Jimmy Kimmel's HMC. You don't know what HMC stands for? That's the "Handsome Man Club," and Kimmel's the president. John Krasinski, Rob Lowe, Taye Diggs, Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey ... I feel like we're missing someone. Oh, there he is, at the very end. Nice.
1. Kathryn Bigelow's win for Best Director for The Hurt Locker. It's about time. I didn't even realize there had only been three other women nominated for Best Director.
- Lina Wertmüller - 1976 for Seven Beauties
- Jane Campion - 1993 for The Piano
- Sofia Coppola - 2003 for Lost in Translation
I look forward to the day when this isn't a topic that's even mentioned. I assume we need two more wins for other female directors before we can make this happen. Catherine Hardwicke, I'm looking in your direction.