Megan Fox, nearly naked, didn't break box office records. It didn't even place in the top 3 this weekend. Why not? Well, we're back with another addition of He Said/She Said to figure out the answer. Jennifer's Body is about a high school girl (Fox) unexpectedly becomes a boy-devouring demon. The only person who can stop her? Her best friend, Needy (Amanda Seyfried).

As always, we highly recommend seeing the film before reading, because plot spoilers, including the ending, are fair game to be discussed.

And now onto He (Nick Allen) Said ... She (Morrow McLaughlin) Said.

HE SAID

Sigh. It was possible that Juno writer Diablo Cody could've added another merit badge to her screenwriting sash with Jennifer's Body, especially considering the potential she had with that "your eggo is preggo" movie. But unfortunately this is not how it was meant to be. Instead, Jennifer packs more sass than Juno but less brains, and with an exception of Adam Brody playing a satanist, really fails to surprise. It tries hard to win over B-grade laughs with cheap pop culture references in its dialogue, or with bizarre humor in moments of absolute terror, but fails because such out of place jokes hinder even the most "dramatic" moments (for example, the climax), or because digs at Hannah Montana are more stale than people who say "bogus!"

As much as this film may have catered to her spacey eyes and not-so-sexy whispery tone, Megan Fox doesn't really help the film. Congratulations, Megan Fox, you can play a genuine "demon sl*t," but it doesn't seem like being sexy is a skill out of reach for you (did YOU see that robot hump your leg in Transformers: Rise of the Fallen? Wow!) But as much as Fox is a good fit for the role, she doesn't bring anything compelling to it. Instead, she is overshadowed by her geeky on-screen BFF Amanda Seyfried (the girl with ESPN from Mean Girls). As the bookworm to Fox's priss, Seyfried is obviously more endearing, but her path is a tad less obvious (Jennifer eats boys, that's it.) Neither of the girls are given much background, despite having a peculiar friendship that is apparently very legit. I would've liked to understand these two girls could really be together, despite having no similar interests, etc.

I have no idea if you may have liked this or not. Did you think it was funny? Scary? Or just really lame, like I did?

SHE SAID

I liked it, but not so passionately that I feel inclined to really argue it with you. There were parts of it that worked for me and parts that were merely average...nothing so terrible that I wanted to physically injure Hollywood producers and directors.

Obviously, it's Diablo Cody and her writing is fun and distinct. My main problem with the dialogue is that I don't like idiotic teenagers that butcher the language and come up with their own stupid lingo in person; so, why would I enjoy it in a movie, once removed from reality? And I don't mean to split any hairs here, but "salty" actually implies fiesty and foul-mouthed, not beautiful. That's irritating squared--change the meaning of an existing language hybrid.

However, I dig Megan Fox. She's single-handedly made brunette the new blond, and she's just so lovely looking in general. It's fun to watch someone that beautiful puking up black, needled bile and reveling in someone else's intestines (maybe that's just me). But as far as actual skill goes, you're right about Amanda Seyfried. She was natural and believable and came close to stealing the whole show.

The one part of this movie that I absolutely ADORED was post-credits, when Needy gets her revenge. I didn't like Jennifer as a person, but the scene where she's begging for her life was so real and so painful, that I wanted those c*nt weasels to suffer for what they did. I have a lot of anger toward anyone who victimizes women or children (anger that borders on homicidal rage), and the ending was incredibly cathartic for me.

You have to admit, there were some great-looking scenes in Jennifer's Body. My favorite was when Needy was comparing the lead rockstar to a petrified tree she'd seen as a child and then the subsequent flashback of the little girl standing in the fog.

Was there anything redeemable in your eyes?

HE SAID

Redeemable? Sure, there were a few spouts of creativity that rubbed me the right way, and I applaud Cody's script for thinking of them. I thought the idea of an lame-o indie band sacrificing a virgin to the devil - just to earn fame was pretty clever, and I thought Adam Brody did a nice job of giving guyliner-wearing hams like Brandon Flowers of The Killers their due. Part of Amanda Seyfried's character could be seen as "redeemable," as she was easier to stomach than Megan Fox trying to play her supposed seductiveness up as much as possible.

You are right in saying that she "single-handedly made brunette the new blonde," but I don't think she's "just so lovely looking in general." This is nothing against her as an actress, but she looks too plain to me - often times reminding me of the kind of identical girls that cheat off our tests in high school, and are known as "Baberaham Lincoln" for about the rest of their life. If she were tanned orange and wore pink glittery lip stick, would she look much different than the girls I could meet at a club? Probably not.

But that being said, there was a lot of potential for Megan Fox to really work with her "hotness," especially in a role that causes her to seduce boys before brutally murdering them (and who doesn't dream about that every day, right?!). Instead I got the same ol' Fox that even played the same kind of stuck up girl in How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, a showbiz comedy that put Megan Fox in her place before she was even Megan Fox.

But I digress. A lot of the humor didn't work for me, especially that tree flashback that you mentioned. I thought that one in particular was as weak as some of the dialogue, along with some of the jokes in the movie about school tragedies and the subsequent recovery process. There's nothing funny about a student being murdered, and it's certainly not a laughing moment when they're being mourned. (This may explain why I thought Heathers was absolute garbage). But none of the jokes were more intolerable than J.K Simmons. I love that man, especially in his slyly satirical roles (like in Burn After Reading), but as the sentimental hook-handed teacher he tried too hard. Unfortunately, the college crowd that I saw this with absolutely ate everything he said up. He doesn't need a hook hand and a crappy haircut to be funny.

Maybe I'm just an old man. Maybe I need to re-visit this movie in five years, after Juno 2: LOL Twins!!! has won Cody her second Oscar. But for right now I don't predict it will do much business, especially with the much more entertaining Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs coming out the same weekend.

Is there something about the movie you definitely would've changed?

SHE SAID

Both you and Jeff Bayer thought J.K Simmons was at the losing end of the movie's humor, but I didn't think it poked any fun at him. I accepted that his character had a scar and a hook, which is a bit arbitrary in a side character. I didn't think it was meant to be funny, but both you guys see it as this offensive bomb of a joke, so maybe I'm off. Again, I don't feel strongly enough about any part of this movie to whip out the big guns and fire madly into crowds of people (see "He Said/She Said 9" for more information).

It's strange how differently we can see and process a scene. I loved the petrified tree scene because of the writing, not because I thought it was particularly funny. "He was skinny and twisted and evil, just like a petrified tree I saw once as a child," is a f*cking fantastic line. It gives me writer pangs of inferiority and jealousy and I love that feeling--there's always more you can do with words. I get that same feeling when I'm reading Joseph Keller or James Joyce or Virginia Woolf. I'm a junkie for sharp writing.

Otherwise, I think you've said it all. Why belabor the point? Both of us fall somewhere in the "meh" spectrum when it comes to this movie, except I liked it more and you liked it less.

And for the record, if you can go clubbing and pick up a girl who looks like Megan Fox high-five yourself right now, you sexy beast.