The Scorecard Review

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This is Jeff Bayer, and I don't update this site very often. If you'd like to listen to my current movie podcast you can find it at MovieBS.com.

All in Film Reviews

Dec 18
Dec 18 Gran Torino

Gran Torino Directed by: Clint Eastwood Cast: Clint Eastwood, Sue Lor, Bee Vang Running Time: 2 hrs Rating: R

Plot: A retired and newly widowed Korean war veteran becomes a grand father-figure to two neighboring Hmong teenagers trying to escape the violence of a local gang.

Who’s It For? Fans of Eastwood's magnetism need to see this. The film's genuine quality is open to anyone, particularly those who want to feel refreshed by an award worthy experience that isn't adapted from some previous literary form.

Expectations: Less than a year ago, the title Gran Torino was rumored to be that of a new Dirty Harry sequel. But when a trailer for this film was finally released, it appeared this film would be something more important.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Clint Eastwood as Walt Kowalski: Is this character the penultimate of Eastwood?

Dec 18
Dec 18 Yes Man

Yes Man Directed by: Peyton Reed Cast: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby Running Time: 1 hr, 44 minutes Rating: PG-13

Plot: Carl Allen is a pensive, heartbroken nobody who avoids all contact with the outside world. Though his friends insist he burst out from a cocoon of stymieing depression, Allen doesn’t see the worth of “getting back out there.” When a free spirited friend from his past arrives, he introduces Carl to a world in which all questions are answered with “yes.”

Who’s It For?: Fans of an emerging genre of comedy that attempts to transcend all facets of human emotion. When Judd Apatow ushered in “raunchy, thinking man’s humor,” it was just the beginning. Now, each time a new director sets out to create something funny, he also tries to get his

Dec 18
Dec 18 Slumdog Millionaire

Quickcard Review Slumdog Millionaire

Directed by: Danny Boyle Cast: Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Madhur Mittal, Irfan Khan Running Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

CLICK HERE to read the complete Scorecard Review by Nick Allen

Plot: It's the potential of rags to riches as a slumdog (poor Indian boy played by Patel) must answer questions while on India’s own “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” Each question somehow relates to a moment in his past mainly involving his older brother (Mittal) and a girl (Pinto) who he believes is the love of his life.

Who’s It For? This is the most accessible, mainstream Indian film (yes, it's Indian even though a English man directed it) I have seen. The only thing Bollywood about it is all the vibrant colors and a slightly odd musical number at

Dec 18
Dec 18 Seven Pounds

Seven PoundsDirected by: Gabriele Muccino Cast: Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson, Barry Pepper Running Time: 2 hours Rating: PG-13

Plot: An IRS agent named Ben Thomas (Smith) has a secret and embarks on a journey to change the lives of seven strangers, while looking for his own path of redemption.

Who’s It For? Smith won over audiences last year with The Pursuit of Happyness and it's the same type of powerful tale. There's a little mystery involved here but otherwise, it's pulling at the heart strings.

Expectations: Just like everyone else, I like Smith. It's hard not to. Though, it's funny, looking over his most recent films like I, Robot, Hitch, I Am Legend and Hancock ... Pursuit is the only good one in the bunch.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Will Smith as Ben Thomas: At first Ben almost

Dec 18
Dec 18 Beauty in Trouble (Kráska v nesnázích)

Beauty in Trouble (Kráska v nesnázích) Directed by: Jan Hrebejk Cast: Anna Geislerová, Roman Luknár, Josef Abrhám, Jana Brejchová Running Time: 1 hr 50 min Rating: Unrated Opens: Dec. 12 in Portland at The Living Room Theaters

Plot: After a flood ravages much of Prague, Jarda (Roman Luknar) starts running a chop shop to support his now destitute family. His wife, Marcela (Anna Geislerova), leaves Jarda after disagreeing about his illegal activities. She moves to her mother's apartment, bringing her children along. This upsets Marcela's stepfather, Richard, who does not appreciate the intrusion of this family into his already cramped apartment. Jarda is arrested after one of his accomplices steals a car belonging to Evzen Benes (Josef Abrham) that's equipped with satellite tracking. Benes offers to aid Marcela financially and get

Dec 11
Dec 11 The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still Directed by: Scott Derrickson Cast: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Jaden Smith, Kathy Bates, John Cleese Running Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: Klaatu (Reeves) is an alien who visits Earth with his large robot counterpart. He is here on a mission and scientist Helen Benson (Connelly) is out to understand why, but so is the U.S. government led by the Secretary of Defense (Bates).

Who’s It For? I can't say teens, because it's kind of boring. And I can't say intelligent adults, because it's not really that thought provoking. I was hoping for a little humor with the fish (alien) out of water (outer space), but it just didn't happen.

Expectations: I never saw the original 1951 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still. But from what I

Dec 11
Dec 11 Doubt

Doubt Directed by: John Patrick Shanley Cast: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Viola Davis Running Time: 95 minutes Rating: PG-13 Opens: Dec. 12th in Chicago at Landmark Century Cinema and AMC River East

Plot: Based on his own play, John Patrick Shanley writes and directs a film about a Bronx parish in the 1960's that faces inner turmoil when a respected priest's (Hoffman) good nature is questioned by two nuns (Streep and Adams).

Who’s It For? Those willing to experience a slowly paced, dramatic exploration into universal themes like leadership as told in a setting timely to the church's own problems in recent years.

Expectations: Very curious was the mixed reaction Doubt received when it first screened in New York. Where could this Oscar-baiting film have gone wrong?

Dec 11
Dec 11 How About You?

Morrow McLaughlin

How About You? Directed by: Anthony Byrne Cast: Brenda Fricker, Vanessa Redgrave, Hayley Atwell, Imelda Staunton, Joss Ackland Running Time: 1 hr 20 min Rating: R Opens: Dec. 12 in Portland at Hollywood Theatre

Plot: A young, irresponsible woman (Hayley Atwell) is left in charge of her sister’s retirement home, where she has to deal with the antics of four damaged and irascible seniors.

Who’s It For? Anyone who’s lost the will to continue looking for the remote control (it’s in the icebox—Doh!).

Expectations: I had zero ideas about this movie and sometimes that’s a very good thing (The Full Monty, The Fall, Below), and sometimes it leaves you feeling blindfolded and disoriented. Obviously, I hoped for the former.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Hayley Atwell as Ellie: She’s gorgeous and talented, but the character development feels like it didn’t even make it

Dec 11
Dec 11 Nothing Like the Holidays

Nothing Like The Holidays Directed by: Alfredo De Villa Cast: Freddy Rodriguez, Elisabeth Pena, John Leguizamo, Luis Guzman, Debra Messing Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: An eccentric Latin-American family living in the Puerto Rican area of Chicago celebrates Christmas and various life lessons that enhance the holiday spirit.

Who’s It For?: Properly, this film isn't limited to an audience of a particular background. However, if you've already got a favorite family Christmas movie, (mine's National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) there are slim chances that this will be any type of a replacement.

Expectations: I always like to see how Chicago is captured in films. But would there be anything to truly Like about another holiday film that reminds me once again, in so many words, that "family is the best gift of all?"

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Freddy

Dec 11
Dec 11 I Can't Think Straight

I Can't Think Straight Directed by: Shamim Sharif Cast: Lisa Ray, Sheetal Sheth, Antonia Frering, Rez Kempton Running Time: 1 hr 30 min Rating: PG-13 Opens: 12/12 in Portland at The Living Room Theaters

Plot: Tala (Lisa Ray), a Christian Jordanian from a wealthy family, becomes engaged and returns to London to meet with friends before her wedding. There she meets Leyla (Sheetal Sheth), the girlfriend of her best friend Ali. After a tenuous courtship, the two women end up involved in a secret romantic relationship. With Tala's impending nuptials, the women must make a choice, to live a lie or come out and be who they are, together.

Who’s It For? Do you ever watch romantic comedies and think, if only the two were both women and really hot? Then this is

Dec 11
Dec 11 Moving Midway

Morrow McLaughlin

Moving Midway Directed/Written by: Godfrey Cheshire Cast: Charles Hinton, Elizabeth Silver Cheshire, Al Hinton, Dena Williams Silver Running Time: 1 hr 38 min Rating: Unrated

Plot: New York filmmaker and critic Godfrey Cheshire juxtaposes the enduring myth and romance of the antebellum Southern plantation against his brother’s attempts to physically move the actual house, Midway, to a less urban location.

Who’s It For? Civil War buffs and anyone who feels connected to the Southern identity.

Expectations: I always expect to enjoy documentaries.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Cast: The people in the film are like people you've had a brief introduction to at a picnic. They are likable, but you forget their names immediately afterward and you spend the rest of the afternoon referring to them as "whathisname over there...no, the guy eating the pickle." Further convoluting the problem is that some

Dec 4
Dec 4 Cadillac Records

Cadillac Records Directed by: Darnell Martin Cast: Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright, Columbus Short, Beyonce Knowles Running Time: 1 hr 50 mins Rating: R

Plot: The story of record producer Leonard Chess (Brody) and the blues musicians he made famous with his Chicago based company Chess Records.

Who’s It For? Music fans, particularly those of Muddy Waters, Chuck Berry, Etta James etc., would be better off reading a book, or hell, even a Wikipedia page. Beyonce fans will get a kick out of seeing one of their Dreamgirls ham it up once again. But falling into a sad realm of forget-ability will be Wright's noteworthy portrayal of Muddy Waters.

Expectations: Music movies tend to clone themselves as much as sports films. Considering this, would a music movie with more musicians than usual have even more cliches? And unlike

Dec 4
Dec 4 Nobel Son

Nobel Son Directed by: Randall Miller Cast: Alan Rickman, Bryan Greenberg, Shawn Hatosy, Mary Steenburgen Running Time: 1 hr 42 minutes Rating: R

Plot: When Barkley Michaelson’s father is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, it begins a series of events that turns his directionless life around. An oft-troubled kid who has been pursuing his PhD in the study of cannibalism, Barkley get tangled up in an unorthodox love-triangle where nothing (and I mean nothing) is as it seems.

Who’s It For?: Fans of film-noir. Director Randall Miller undoubtedly studied at Tarantino Film School, so be prepared for a slew of quick cuts, harsh editing, and a soundtrack custom made for pretentious art students. But seriously, this is a film that tries hard to prove its level of coolness to a crowd not quite hip enough to

Dec 4
Dec 4 Punisher: War Zone

Punisher: War Zone Directed by: Lexi Alexander Cast: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, and Julie Benz Running Time: 1 hr 47 mins Rating: R

Plot: Waging his one-man war on the world of organized crime, ruthless vigilante-hero Frank Castle (Stevenson) sets his sights on overeager mob boss, Billy Russoti (West). After Russoti is left horribly disfigured by Castle, he sets out for vengeance under his new alias ... Jigsaw.

Who’s It For? Anyone who can't be talked out of this being the Punisher film worth seeing. Maybe you didn't know, but this is the third Punisher film that Hollywood has tried. They need to stop. And kids should not see this bloody mess (just like they shouldn't play ultra-violent video games).

Expectations: I know better going to these films. All I was looking for was mindless action.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors:

Ray

Dec 4
Dec 4 My Name is Bruce

My Name is Bruce Directed by: Bruce Campbell Cast: Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, Grace Thorsen, Taylor Sharpe Running Time: 1 hr 26 mins Rating: R

Plot: When an unexplained supernatural yeti-monster wreaks havoc on a rural Oregon town, the community requires desperate measures to save themselves. When a naïve super-fan believes Bruce Campbell is the only one who can help, he kidnaps his hero to thwart the evil that has invaded his beloved community.

Who’s It For?. Bruce Campbell fans, only. If you have no knowledge of the man or his films, steer clear. This film is made along the same lines as the Evil Dead series. If you’re a fan however, get in line.

Expectations: It’s easy to be swept up in the relative hype of this film. What’s easy to forget is that none of

Nov 25
Nov 25 Australia

Australia Directed by: Baz Luhrmann Cast: Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Brandon Walters, David Wenham Running Time: 2 hrs 45 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: This is Luhrmann's epic romance action adventure ode to Australia. Set just before and during World War II comes the story of an English aristocrat (Kidman) joining forces with a rough local (Jackman) for a cattle drive and much more.

Who’s It For? Look at the running time again. Is it for you? It's not completely action packed, but there aren't many dull moments in this crowd pleaser.

Expectations: I was completely and utterly on the fence with this film. Love Luhrmann, but Jackman and Kidman only occasionally put a smile on my face. Plus, the previews make this look just like another take on Far and Away.

SCORECARD (0-10)

Actors: Nicole Kidman as Lady Sarah

Nov 25
Nov 25 Four Christmases

Four Christmases Directed by: Seth Gordon Cast: Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall, Mary Steenburgen Running Time: 1 hr 22 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: An evasive couple attempts to forgo sharing Christmas with their slew of family members, but are caught in the act (on national television). Faced with the unthinkable reality of having to withstand four Christmas gatherings, fun-loving Brad [Vince Vaughn] and Kate [Reese Witherspoon] are reminded how powerful the “holiday spirit” is.

Who’s It For? Those who haven’t grown tired of watching Vince Vaughn candidly play himself for the umpteenth time, and those who have sincerely believed Ms. Witherspoon can’t “bring the funny.”

Expectations: Relatively speaking, Seth Gordon is “merely (a) freshman,” when it comes to film making. This the sixth time he’s taken a seat in the director’s chair, and the first time

Nov 25
Nov 25 Transporter 3

Transporter 3 Directed by: Olivier Megaton Cast: Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova, Robert Knepper Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins Rating: PG-13

Plot: Personal driver Frank Martin (Statham) is hired to transport a Ukrainian minister's daughter (Rudakova) who has been kidnapped by an evil American (Knepper) that is attempting to bribe the European country with toxic waste. However, an explosive device attached to Martin restricts him from being any more than 75 feet away from his car.

Who’s It For? People who don't own DVD players and a type of membership to some form of movie rental business. Seriously, if you're really revved up for Transporter action, just rent the previous two.

Expectations: I'm always down for some butt kicking, especially when Jason Statham's involved. Fully aware of the reality-defying thrills in the trilogy's previous two films, I

Nov 25
Nov 25 Milk

Milk Directed by: Gus Van Sant Cast: Sean Penn, James Franco, Emile Hirsch, Josh Brolin, Diego Luna Running Time: 2 hrs 8 mins Rating: R

Plot: Sean Penn is gay-rights activist Harvey Milk. Set in the 1970s, Milk became the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in America. This film tells the story of his rise to power and his tragic end.

Who’s It For? This is a story that isn't told that much. We still live in an insanely divided country ... just look at the horrendous decision to reverse gay marriage rights in California, of all places. There is an insanely talented cast and a very important story to be told here.

Expectations: Thanks to my wife the history major, I knew just a hint of this story. But I think

Nov 20
Nov 20 Twilight

TwilightDirected by: Catherine Hardwicke Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli Running Time: 2 hrs Rating: PG-13

I READ THIS BOOK ... if you are looking for a review that didn't click here for Thomas Pardee's review.

Plot: Based on the best-seller by Stephanie Meyer comes the story of Bella (Stewart), an awkward teen who moves to Forks, Washington to be with her dad. She's immediately drawn to the mysterious Edward Cullen (Pattinson) who turns out to be much more than she ever thought possible.

Who’s It For? There is a huge following from the books. It's probably the most anticipated adaptation since Harry Potter. And that's exactly who this is for, and teenage girls won't mind staring at Edward for a couple of hours either.

Expectations: I read the first book and