Directed by: John Gulager
Starring: David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames
Release Date: 2012
TRAILER SCORE: 1/10
Thoughts by TSR: I saw the first Piranha 3D and I will never be able to get the image of Jerry O’Connell, with his eviscerated legs and genitals, out of my mind. It’s not something I would like to remember. This teaser looks almost identical to the teaser for the first film, only it swaps Richard Dreyfuss for David Hasselhoff. This is just as well because it felt like Dreyfuss was slumming, whereas this is actually a step up for Hasselhoff. This time, even fewer punches are pulled, making sure to focus on large, fake breasts hanging off faceless women. The shot of Rhames with the leg from Planet Terror looks particularly cynical. I know it’s meant to be tongue in cheek, but the unrelenting misogyny of the trailer (and yes, I do consider naked, faceless women about to be eviscerated lovingly on camera to be misogynistic) is really appalling. I didn’t think anything could look worse than Piranha 3D, I was wrong.