The Scorecard Review

Most Disappointing Movie of 2009 – TSR Movie Awards

Jeff Bayer — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 02:22:34 +0000

Sure, there were some bumps in the road. That can happen from time to time.

Thanks to everyone for voting. This year 195 film fans decided the awards.

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

The Results of the 8th Annual Movie Awards

MOST DISAPPOINTING (High score is MOST disappointing)

6.74 TERMINATOR SALVATION
6.28 BRUNO
6.28 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE
6.2 JENNIFER’S BODY
6.11 2012
6.05 IT’S COMPLICATED
5.96 ANGELS & DEMONS
5.86 COUPLES RETREAT
4.85 WATCHMEN
4.5 INVICTUS

Final Thoughts: Remember, these aren’t the worst movies of the year, they’re the most disappointing. Well team, we got the winner right. Could there have been a bigger expectation than Christian Bale finally giving us the adult John Connor? That was rhetorical. It appears the Terminator franchise is in trouble. Will James Cameron care, swoop in, and save the day. This category is really all about expectations. We used to do “Worst Movie of the Year” for the TSR Movie Awards. The main problem with that? No movie fans sit through films like All About Steve, Sorority Row and Love Happens. It shocking to see Invictus at the bottom of this list. I truly thought it would win (with Terminator close behind). When a film sports Morgan Freeman (in a role tailor made for him), Matt Damon and a story that should tear at the heart … then comes out completely average, well that’s MY most disappointing of the year. Bruno does make sense in second with everyone expecting more after Borat. I didn’t mind Bruno one bit, but again, I’m only one voice.

COMPLETE RESULTS from the 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

‘Who Do You Love’ starring Alessandro Nivola – trailer review

Jeff Bayer — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:27:38 +0000

Who Do You Love

Directed by: Jerry Zaks

Starring: Alessandro Nivola, David Oyelowo, Chi McBride

Rating: NR

Release Date: TBA, 2010

TRAILER SCORE: 6/10

MY THOUGHTS: Anyone remember Cadillac records? While the movie itself was pretty forgettable, it touched on a lot of the material that I’m expecting to be repeated in this movie. Cadillac Records boasted some star-studded talent with the likes of Beyonce and Mos Def, but Who Do You Love has set itself up with a very modest cast. While this be its saving grace or its downfall? I’m betting it’ll do wonders (or at least hoping) because there was something about watching Beyonce as Etta James that wouldn’t let me forget it was Beyonce. Although I’ve seen most of these actors in other projects, none have such an overwhelming “presence” we’ll call it, that’ll distract from the movie. The material they’re working with is nothing too original, but with powerful performances, that’s something that can be overlooked. The trailer itself looks a little busy which makes me worry, but then again, they’re trying to convince people to see this movie with only 2:09. All in all, nothing new but could be an interesting take on Chess Records with hopefully a little more to say than Cadillac Records. Check it out below and see for yourself!

Best Movie Music of 2009 – TSR Movie Awards

Jeff Bayer — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:23:05 +0000

Sure, there were some bumps in the road. That can happen from time to time.

Thanks to everyone for voting. This year 195 film fans decided the awards.

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

The Results of the 8th Annual Movie Awards

BEST MUSIC (soundtrack + score)

8.15 CRAZY HEART
8.0 (500) DAYS OF SUMMER
7.88 WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
7.72 AWAY WE GO
7.64 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
7.60 THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
7.42 UP
7.16 UP IN THE AIR
7.11 A SINGLE MAN
6.25 SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.17 THE HANGOVER
5.59 NINE

Final Thoughts: The right one won. Or did it? Jeff Bridges’ Crazy Heart brought home the gold. No one can deny the music is the second best thing about Crazy Heart. Well, I guess people could, but I think all of us could collectively out-argue them, right? The score of 8.15 is strong, but not dominating. (500) Days did have one little problem in its drive for victory … me. I forgot to add it in until my friend reminded me. There’s one every year. When you come up with all the nominations, you’re bound to miss one per year, and that’s what I did for a while. Actually, as I am typing this, I just realized I forgot Pirate Radio. It was a film I loved, that everyone else forgot. Classic rock was pipping throughout the film. Argh. This wasn’t a good talk. Well, even though only about 50 (of the total 195) were able to vote for (500) it still finished second. We’ll never know how Pirate would have performed. Inglourious has the most historical film-inspired music, and was fantastic. I own a few of these soundtracks … Basterds, Wild Things, Hangover and was given a few others like Holmes. They’re all good. I need to buy Away We Go. I was hoping they’d be trying to get some nominations (and therefore send me the soundtrack for free). No dice. By the way, it’s hilarious the only true musical finished dead last.

COMPLETE RESULTS from the 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

‘City Island’ starring Andy Garcia – trailer review

Calhoun Kersten — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:57:07 +0000

City Island

Directed by: Raymond De Fellita
Starring: Andy Garcia, Julianna Marguiles, Alan Arkin, Steven Strait
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: TBA 2010

TRAILER SCORE: 7/10

MY THOUGHTS: I never can pass up an opportunity to watch a solid 90 minutes of a family that acts weirder than my own. The dysfunctional family comedy is a personal favorite of mine, so I’m willing to give City Island a chance. Does it look like the stuff that dreams are made of? Certainly not, but with such a strong cast, I’m admittedly pretty excited. Andy Garcia needs at least another hit or an indie gem under his belt and with Anchor Bay releasing and Alan Arkin co-starring, this could easily be a repeat of last year’s Sunshine Cleaning. Sure, the premise is incredibly different, but the quirky sensibility and emotional sincerity is what sold me on both movies. It looks like it may have its fair share of clichés, but in the end I’m hopeful for this one. A word of warning though, keep an eye out, this looks like one that could slip by undetected, but well worth noticing.

SXSW 2010 – Day Three

Jeff Bayer — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:24:58 +0000

SXSW 2010 – Day Three

The little gem and a film stopping short.

I’ve been taking the bus to the festival. Sure, I could sit here and describe the things I am seeing during the bus ride like MCM (Mole Cheek Man) or .. well, I should describe him. He had this big mole on his cheek. Not so much wide, as it was tall. I couldn’t help but think about shaving. He had some significant stubble, so you know he’s stuck shaving twice a day at the least. How. How? How has he avoided the temptation of just taking the razor and slicing it off? I was stuck on that thought for a solid 25 minutes. Morbid? Not enough sleep? Sure, these are possible excuses for this train of thought, but really I just want a straight-edge and two minutes with that mole. Apparently this is where your mind can drift after many movies and a bus.

Sunday morning brought KN (Knee Cap) into my life. Keep in mind, I’m not making fun and don’t even know if it slows him down, but check out the knee. Then check out the guy checking out the knee. I love the bus. Plus, with everyone talking on the phone, you get to hear conversations like, “I don’t know where the death certificate is, Dude!”

Oh, you were here to read about movies? My bad.

First up – Happy Poet

Synopsis

Bill, an out-of-work poet, puts his heart, soul, and last few dollars into starting an all-organic, mostly-vegetarian food stand. New friend Donnie promotes the business and helps Bill pursue Agnes, a poetry-lover who frequents the stand. Curtis, an enigmatic life-philosopher, buoys Bill’s spirits with his positive attitude and love of vegetarian food. Complications with the business jeopardize these budding friendships and threaten Bill’s dreams for a hot dog-free future.

Director Bio

Pauls debut feature film, MOTORCYCLE, made in three parts during film school, premiered in competition at the 2006 Slamdance Film Festival, and went on to play at film festivals around the world, including Thessaloniki, SXSW, and Rooftop Films.
In addition to writing, directing and starring in THE HAPPY POET, Paul also acted in GRETCHEN, and MARS, which is also premiering at SXSW 2010.

This is the little gem I was looking for. Big fan of this film. The humor comes from the non-humor of Paul Gordon. Incredibly dry, yet you cheer for him to succeed.

Then I went and waited for my number one priority of the festival – Saturday Night

Synopsis

Have you ever wondered how a sketch was chosen for Saturday Night Live? Or why some actors are in more sketches than others? With John Malcovich hosting the episode and unprecedented access to the behind the scenes action, watch as Franco takes an observational approach in documenting what it takes to create one full episode.

Director Bio

James Francos short film Herbert White premiered at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival and then went on to screen at the Berlin Film Festival in February. SATURDAY NIGHT is his first foray into documentary filmmaking and is proud to have its world premiere at South By Southwest. Later this year James will direct Ham on Rye based on the novel by Charles Bukowski.

Big fan of this documentary, but then again I haven’t missed an episode of “Saturday Night Live” for a long, long time.

I was fifth in line for this one, I waited from 4:35 to 7:00. Again, I’m a big fan. Also, five “friends” cut in line with me for this one. A little much, yes. But no one complained thanks to a pillar that put them out of view until it was too late. Bill Hader comes off as the star of this documentary.

I could watch three docs a year doing this exact same thing.

Last movie of the night – Electra Luxx

Synopsis

Pregnant porn star Electra Luxx (Carla Gugino) is trying to make a living teaching sex classes to housewives. But her life is thrown into disarray when a flight attendant (Marley Shelton) with ties to Electra’s past approaches her for a favor. Chaos ensues as fiancees, private investigators, a twin sister and even the Virgin Mary force her to face up to an unexpected series of decisions and revelations.

Director Bio

Sebastian Gutierrez was born and raised in Caracas, Venezuela.
His feature credits include, as screenwriter: THE BIG BOUNCE (starring Morgan Freeman and Owen Wilson), GOTHIKA (starring Halle Berry), SNAKES ON A PLANE (starring Samuel Jackson) and THE EYE (starring Jessica Alba).
As a director: JUDAS KISS, HBOs SHE CREATURE, RISE and last years SXSW world premiere WOMEN IN TROUBLE.

The bottom line it’s a big cast in a sequel where I had never heard of the first film – Women in Trouble.

One hour and ten minutes into the film, the projector died. The director put on a good show, stalling for time as they were trying to get things fixed, but it wasn’t meant to be. No ending. I can’t exactly say I cared. The film is more soap opera than anything else. Sex is a well-played backdrop, I just needed more. Especially after a day of waiting.

It was the best day of films, and I only saw 2.75 of them. I found my little film to love (Happy Poet) and the one I truly cared about held up (Saturday Night).

Tomorrow, I’ve got some small films and then MacGruber. Train wreck? HIGH-larious? Tune in tomorrow to find out.

‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ starring Robert Pattinson – trailer review

Calhoun Kersten — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:35:42 +0000

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Directed by: David Slade
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner
Rating: NR
Release Date: June 30, 2010

TRAILER SCORE: 4/10

MY THOUGHTS: Well, I guess it’s that time again. You know what they say, another year, another Twilight movie. Now, I can’t say that I follow the series closely (at all is perhaps a more accurate phase) but given the pop culture phenomenon, I feel like I’ve got a handle on this. This film looks like it returns to the premise of your average romantic drama where a girl can’t choose between two guys, one’s a vampire and the other is a werewolf. Now, fans of the series may protest my rating of the trailer, but let’s look at it from a non-Twi-hard perspective, shall we? I’ll give you that the visuals are pretty entertaining with lots of beautiful shots of dramatic landscapes, but aside from that, this trailer doesn’t have a lot going for it. Sure, it’s a continuation of a highly-successful series so I understand where people might disagree with me, but the writing? The music cues of the trailer alone don’t help, but “I’m gonna fight for you, till your heart stops beating”? It’s a nice sentiment, but creepy lines like that (that may appeal to the average Twilight fan) accompanied with poor delivery from the actors aren’t enough to get me to see the third in this seemingly never-ending series.

Box Office Review – March 14 – ‘Alice in Wonderland’ beats ‘Green Zone’

Calhoun Kersten — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:08:18 +0000

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland Reigns Supreme 2nd Week in a Row

Box Office Estimates for March 12-14

Rank. Movie Title – Weekend Gross | Theaters | Total Gross | Week #

1. Alice in Wonderland – $62,000,000 I 3,728 I $208,625,000 I 2
Bayer’s TSR – 6/10

2. Green Zone – $14,535,000 I 3,003 I $14,535,000 I 1
Allen’s TSR – 5/10

3. She’s Out of My League – $9,600,000 I 2,956 I $9,600,000 I 1
Allen’s TSR – 6/10

4. Remember Me – $8,300,000 I 2,212 I $8,300,000 I 1
McLaughlin’s TSR – 9/10

5. Shutter Island – $8,140,000 I 3,356 I $108,008,000 I 4
Bayer’s TSR – 9/10
He Said – She Said … Shutter Island

Source: www.boxofficemojo.com

Tim Burton’s domination over the box office continues for the second week in a row despite four wide releases over the weekend.

Following in a distant second is the Matt Damon thriller The Green Zone, though no help from reviewers who aren’t exactly loving the thriller. Just proof that Matt Damon’s still got that box office appeal.

The Jay Baruchel comedy She’s Out of My League with no big name stars to speak of, pulled in a solid third place.

Twi-Hards showed very little love for the R. Patz romantic drama Remember Me. It’s hard to believe after such a weak opening that it’s going to stay in the top 5 for too long, but who knows?

Finally, Shutter Island is going to put up quite a fight before it gets booted off of the top 5. In its fourth week, it pulled in only a little less than the Robert Pattinson newcomer.

All in all, a bunch of new releases held their own in the top 5, but none could muster up the strength to pull in to number 1. That honor still belongs to Alice in Wonderland. But while Tim Burton’s patent mix of gloom and surrealism be enough to sustain it for a 3rd week in a row?

Gentlemen Broncos – Blu-ray

Nick Allen — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Blu-ray Review

Gentlemen Broncos

Directed by: Jared Hess
Cast: Michael Angarano, Jemaine Clement, Jennifer Coolidge, Hector Jimenez, Sam Rockwell
Running Time: 1 hr 28 mins
Rating: PG-13
Due Out: March 2, 2010

PLOT: A young writer of science-fiction (Angarano) has his story stolen by his idol (Clement). At the same time, he watches the same unpublished novel become bastardized by two wannabe filmmakers (Coolidge, Jimenez.)

WHO’S IT FOR?: The people who dug Napoleon Dynamite more than just as a fad will likely enjoy this film’s similar presentation. Narrowing that down, aspiring authors who write fan-fiction, especially science fiction stories, are the best bet.

MOVIE:

A tribute to geeks (a term used with zero percent condescension) and their sci-fi literature, Gentlemen Broncos is its own tiny moon in a universe of “Hollywood” productions. Its humor, which is acquired and therefore very sparse, is incredibly dry, with amused chuckles resulting from a smooth-operating character bumping into a table, or the fantastical image of a plastic deer flying around with rockets strapped to its body. With its oddball characters and colorful visual representations of the stories such people create, this “indie” film can be credited as having more imagination than most productions from mainstream cinema. What Gentlemen Broncos does not have, however, is control with such creative potential. The lengthy cinematic realizations of Benjamin’s story are the ultimate test for a regular audience already forced to sit through sandpaper humor; the bizarre elements (testicles, transvestites, poop) of said story offer no assistance. The film’s own plot is a slowly built shed that falls apart just as its being constructed, and says little except to complain about how a writer’s work can be mishandled by its “adapters” (which is odd, since director Jared Hess has had reasonable control over his earlier films, but this might change now.)

Gentlemen Broncos destroys any inkling one may have had that Hess’ style, which reached the masses unexpectedly with Napoleon Dynamite, has some pseudo-retro hipster agenda. A movie like Gentlemen Broncos doesn’t care to be hip, it just doesn’t work toward being anything positively significant. It’s a sad example of determined effort being channeled into the wrong areas – Benjamin is a fascinating character, one who is legitimately broken down by the suburban thrift store wasteland that Napoleon and Co. live in, but is given a really difficult story in which to flourish.

Director Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux, Jennifer’s Body) once told me about this metaphorical place that directors are “sent to” when their big projects bomb – “Hollywood Hell.” An unfortunate mess like Gentlemen Broncos is sure to send Hess (and his co-writing partner, Jerusha Hess) into such a volcanic wasteland, and regrettably so. My geek heart hopes the duo are able to create a great escape from whatever shack they are condemned to in Utah, and soon.

MOVIE SCORE: 4/10

EXTRAS

Outtakes: A Buttload of Keepsakes – Unlike other collections of on-set goofs, this feature isn’t focused just on collecting some mildly funny bloopers. It also aims to be a condensed “Making Of” at the same time.

Mini Docs – This extra is eighteen clips totaling about twenty-five minutes. Features goofy appearances from Sam Rockwell, Jemaine Clement, Jared Hess, Mike White, and many more. Essentially fragments from special “behind the scenes” moments that were used to promote the film’s “quirkiness” before it was released into the world.

Deleted Scenes – Moments from the already odd Gentlemen Broncos that would have made it even more difficult to swallow. We can be thankful that these were left for a DVD extra, and not the main attraction.

OTHER EXTRAS:

One Nutty Movie: Behind the Scenes of Gentlemen Broncos
Commentary with Writer/Director Jared Hess, Co-writer Jerusha Hess, and Director of Photography Munn Powell

EXTRAS SCORE: 6/10

OVERALL

Gentlemen Broncos is without a doubt a unique film, and so is the Blu-ray that presents it. Don’t be fooled by the disc’s slim number of extras, as the special features take full advantage of the standard extras like a blooper reel and behind the scenes documentary to really continue the movie’s sense of goofy community. The offbeat humor is embraced by and possibly even more prominent in the extras, as seen in the Mini Docs and a couple of moments in the deleted scenes.

Broncos is a risky rental, especially for those who can be impatient with unusual movies. Though I am aware of its many flaws, I admire the movie for its potential, and consider it one of the more curious examples of a vision gone wrong.

FINAL SCORE: 5/10

SXSW 2010 – Day Two

Jeff Bayer — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:02:09 +0000

Let’s start with the meat and end with Cyrus starring John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill.

The line at Snow's BBQ.

We (me, brother-in-law, his wife, sister-in-law, her boyfriend) woke up at 9 a.m. to go to BBQ. No, not breakfast BBQ. We drove just under an hour to Lexington, TX to a place called Snow’s BBQ. It’s gaining a reputation as the BBQ place in Texas. They’re open one day a week (Saturday) and that’s that. We stood in line and I contemplated buying some clove honey from a mini-van parked across the street. The wait was a good half an hour. Every once in a while we were taunted by a happy customer walking past with a plate of piled high sausages, brisket and ribbs. My brother-in-law heard the sausages were not life changes, so we’d focus on the other stuff.

Finally, it was our moment. We were now at the front of the line, ready to plow through the meat.

“I’m sorry, you’re not going to like me.” That’s the sentence that sent chills down our collective spines. It came from a sweet woman, who seems like a natural mother. “I think that’s it,” she said. It didn’t register what she actually meant. Then I looked at the trays. They were out. Six sausage links were the only things they had left at 10:30 a.m. Defeated, we took three sausages to share. Another order canceled and we received a little brisket, maybe two or three bites each. Was it good? Absolutely. Was it the best ever? I can’t say. The only way to officially tell if you’ve had the greatest BBQ of your life, is by the quality of the meat sweats. Next time I suppose. Next time. So we did the only logical thing one could do, we hit a second BBQ place. Louie Mueller in Taylor filled us up right. Highly recommend the jalapeno sausage.

Oh yeah, you’re here about the film festival. I went to the Trade Show where many booths trying to give me a pen, key chain, cup of beer (if I fill out a form). I waited in line to check out Panasonic’s 3-D TV. Um. Wow. Yes, you have to wear glasses. Yes, it seems like this will eventually be worth it. We were seeing technology that was about six months old already. They showed highlights of the Summer Olympics, Winter Olympics and Avatar. Avatar seemed just a little better on the big screen, but wasn’t anything to complain about. Seeing a stadium full of fans, or feeling like I was on a soccer field is what blew me away. Yes, I can wait. But I will eventually want a 3-D TV. The depth is the key here. Sure, things will occasionally look like they are coming at you, but the added depth seems better than in the movie theater. Again, sports will be the key to this.

First, I hit Skeletons.

In this surreal comedy, DAVIS and BENNETT are a mismatched pair of traveling salesmen in the business of cleaning skeletons out of closets. Together they travel across Britain, performing ‘the Procedure’ whereby secrets and lies are exposed.
Bennett is a stickler for the rules and finds that Davis has been using their special procedure illegally to reconnect with comforting moments from his past.
Their boss, THE COLONEL assigns the pair to their biggest challenge yet, a graduation test that could see them moving up the company ladder. But when they arrive at a remote family home and can’t get the job done, they discover that you can’t always get away from your own skeletons and you can’t always leave and never come back.

It definitely had it’s moments. Both leads play off of each other like a long-time comedic pair. It seems everything is a little under-explained, which, considering the subject matter, is probably for the best. I’m a huge fan of British humor right now, though even saying that is a bit daft. After all, what’s American humor? Oh yeah. Fart jokes. Never mind, everything makes sense. Now to get back in line.

You see, waiting in line is part of the festival experience whether you like it or not. This is the time to meet strangers, catch up with semi-friends, eat your pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich (don’t look at me funny), or just read.

Waiting one hour for a movie doesn’t make sense. Especially is the movie isn’t great. You give me the great guarantee, and I’ll give you an hour. But if it’s just something to see, something you couldn’t brag or beg a friend to check out … then, in some way you are simply wasting time. Maybe this is why I don’t hit more festivals.

Next movie, Cold Weather. Another Portland film. Huge line. Barely anyone was able to get in, because the crew (and friends) took up a couple of rows. They also cheers for every name that appeared in the credits. It was amusing.

Synopsis

After making a mess of his life in Chicago, Doug, a former forensic science major and avid reader of detective fiction, returns to his hometown of Portland, Oregon where he, his sister Gail and new friend Carlos become embroiled in a mystery.

Director Bio

Aaron Katz was born in Portland, OR and studied film at the North Carolina School of the Arts. After graduating, he and two friends drove a ‘63 Chevy Nova to Portland to make his first feature, DANCE PARTY, USA. His second feature, QUIET CITY, premiered at SXSW 2007 and was nominated for the John Cassavetes Award at the Independent Spirit Awards. Currently Aaron lives in Pittsburgh.

Good movie. Indie ending (it just stops). This film is a slow burn and brings you in to what you think is going to be a fast-paced amazing ride. It never quit gets there, but again, some really solid tense moments in whatever otherwise looks like a mundane like in Portland. It didn’t name drop different Portland areas as much as Some Days Are Better Than Others.

Then I was running. I have old man knees, and once I spend a day standing on them, I feel like a 55-year-old. As The Tallest Film Critic in America this is the path one is stuck living. I join Will Goss in line at Cyrus. It’s a huge line, but also a huge theater (Paramount). We get in, no problem.

Cyrus

Synopsis

With John’s social life at a standstill and his ex-wife about to get remarried, a down on his luck divorcee finally meets the woman of his dreams, only to discover she has another man in her life – her son. Written and directed by Jay & Mark Duplass, the iconoclastic filmmaking team behind Sundance Film Festival favorite THE PUFFY CHAIR, CYRUS takes an insightful, funny and sometimes heartbreaking look at love and family in contemporary Los Angeles.

Director Bio

After a series of Sundance shorts in 2003/2004, JAY & MARK DUPLASS premiered their first feature ‘The Puffy Chair’ at Sundance in 2005, nominated for two Spirit Awards and won Emerging Vision Award at the SXSW Film Festival. Their second effort ‘Baghead’ played the 2008 Sundance and Tribeca film festivals. They will next direct “Jeff, Who Lives At Home.’ In development is ‘Table 19′ with 21 Laps.

John C. Reilly, Marissa Tomei and Jonah Hill. It almost feels like stunt casting. The idea of Hill’s body coming from Tomei’s DNA is a bit of a head-scratcher. It also feels like a story that has been told before. The laughs here are genuine though. The dry humor made this movie a winner. Reilly’s face made this a winner, especially when the rare f-bomb was coming out of it.

That’s it. Midnight. No parties. Time to lose an hour for Daylight Savings Time. Extending the daylight a couple weeks of each side still remains my favorite thing George W. Bush did for this country. Night.

SXSW 2010 – Day One

Jeff Bayer — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 14:42:56 +0000

SXSW 2010 – Day One

A depressing start and Kick-Ass starring Nicolas Cage, Mark Strong and Chloe Moretz. That’s what you want to hear, right? I’m lucky enough to be able to hang out in Austin, visit good family and attend the SXSW Film Festival.

Yet, I’m breaking out the word ‘depressing.’ Sigh.

I’ve already been hangning out with my siser-in-law, brother-in-law and their spouses. Good times. Good food. Good drink. Nothing to complain about. I even saw an advanced screening of Hot Tub Time Machine. It’s a good poor-man’s The Hangover. I should win a prize. I’m probably the one millionth person to already compare it to Hangover.

I did an early check-in on Thursday. Registration opened at 3:00. I got in line at 2:30. Probably about 30 people in front of me. At 3:00 there were probably 500 behind me. This was my first reminder of how much I dislike groups of people. I love persons though. They’re my favorite.

I decdied to sleep in (first mistake). So I wasn’t first in line Friday for SXXpress Passes. Think of it as the Fast Pass at Dinseyland. Wait in line now, so you don’t have to later. You get to pick two films a day, and that guarantees you first in line as long as you get somewhere 30 minutes beforehand.

SXXpress opened at 10 a.m. I arrived at 10:47. Kick-Ass, Leaves of Grass, and a Predators first-look, were already sold out. I was told to get to Kick-Ass two hours before the screening to make sure I had a spot. Keep in mind I have a Film Badge which gets me past all other groups.

My first choice to make. Kick-Ass OR Ed Norton’s Shades of Grass. I was hoping for both, but with travel and lines that would prove impossible.

I decided lines would be everywhere. So at 11:30 I raced over the screening room where you can watch some of the films on a personal TV, instead of waiting in line. The big movies don’t get screeners. So I looked around for options. I had plenty of time. You see, the screening room didn’t open until noon. I was the only one waiting. But now at least I am ahead of the waiting game.

The screening room has six TVs with headphones. They offer water and mints. Why mints? No clue.

Some Days Are Better Than Others – a film by Matt McCormick. The film is in the narrative competition. Why did I start there? McCormick lives in Portland. I’ve got to support my own.

Now it’s on to my first panel.

How to Rawk SXSW

Panels or parties? Sleep or Sessions? Veteran SXSW speakers and attendees give their light-hearted insights and tips on making the most of your next few days in geek wunderland.

Ninja Kim is leading the panel. She’s Asian. Another threw out stuffed animal cats to people who answered questions correctly.

Second movie (back in the screening room). Myth of the American Sleepover. It’s a tamer, less-funny version of Dazed and Confused. It’s the last night of summer before they head back to school. Teenage sexuality, tee-peeing houses, smoking a cigarette. It pushes all the right nostalgic buttons.

I walked around SCREENBURN, which is the open arcade, which is supposed to showcase cutting edge video games. Rock Band was the lead dog on center stage. So, not great. Though it did lead to this moment with the Lego display. Let this be a lesson to all you parents out there who give their kids too much time with Legos.

Time to hurry and wait.
Eric D. Snider, my friend from Portland and also a film critic was there with his group. I joined.

I got into line for Kick-Ass at 5:15. The line moved at 6:35. We sat in the front row of the balcony. Not ideal. Not bad.

I’ll say this for the movie. I think everyone younger than me that’s a comic book/superhero fan will love it. The older crowd won’t get it. Nic Cage doing an Adam West Batman is amazing. I feel dirty for loving an 11-year-old being such an extremely violent character. Dirty and awesome.

Snider convinced me that we could make it to Leaves of Grass. We couldn’t. My movie day was done. Back to hanging out with family for some drinks. Saturday morning, we’re heading out for BBQ. The moral of the story: It’s not that depressing.

Box Office Preview – March 12 – ‘Green Zone’ & ‘Remember Me’ take on ‘Alice’

Jeff Bayer — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:15:45 +0000

Hitting the screens this week…

Green Zone

Our Family Wedding

Remember Me

She’s Out of My League

The Art of the Steal (limited Chicago)

This is a big box office weekend, boasting four wide releases, with at least most having big names stars. Green Zone features Matt Damon’s return to the action genre, which may be just the ticket to take it to number one.

In the more independent vein, Fox Searchlight’s Our Family Wedding is a diverse “fathers at odds with each other” comedy. While the premise isn’t exactly fresh, big name stars such as Forest Whitaker and America Ferrera may carry some clout with this film.

Robert Pattinson returns to the screen, this time without the fangs, in the simply titled, Remember Me. If R. Patz just isn’t enough, “Lost”s Emilie de ravin co-stars alongside Chris Cooper and Pierce Brosnan.

Finally, although She’s Out of My League carries no real big name stars, it’s full of familiar faces. Jay Baruchel, from TV’s “Undeclared” and Knocked Up, leads the cast in what looks like at least a mildly amusing time.

Opening in a limited release is The Art of the Steal which sounds interesting enough, but may not find its audience this weekend with all of the big name wide releases.

For full reviews of all those films, click here.

Those are the new releases for this week, but don’t expect that just because there are 4 new wide releases that some of the old favorites are simply going to disappear.

Each week we’ll take a look at the box office and see if we can’t nail the Top 5 films (in correct order).

It’s harder than you think. If you don’t believe, let’s see what your answers are.

My prediction for the weekend of March 12 – 14…

1. Alice in Wonderland

2. Remember Me

3. Green Zone

4. Shutter Island

5. She’s Out of My League

So what are your Top 5 at the box office this weekend?

Green Zone

Nick Allen — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:03:11 +0000

Green Zone

Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Cast: Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear
Running Time: 1 hr 55 mins
Rating: R
Release Date: March 12, 2010

PLOT: In 2003, a soldier (Damon) in Baghdad is searching for weapons of mass destruction. When he begins to question the legitimacy of the information given to him, he starts hunting for the highly protected anonymous source.

WHO’S IT FOR?: Those who enjoy action movies, but don’t mind (or are attracted to) political nudges wedged between fast-moving sequences of various degrees of combat.

EXPECTATIONS: From a glance at a trailer, it appeared that this would be a somewhat political actioner, very much from the mind of the duo that made two Jason Bourne films.

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Matt Damon as Chief Roy Miller: The American soldier is given a very heroic portrayal by Damon, who adds only a little bit of Jason Bourne into his version of the action protagonist, who is more non-fictional than not. He does not fly solo but works with a group in this round. Not particularly credited with a life outside of the military, he stands for a decent example of how people were tricked into believing WMDs ever existed at all.
Score: 6

Greg Kinnear as Clark Poundstone: Just like Damon, Kinnear’s sharp-looking man-in-suit seems destined to gain comparisons to many politicians from this era of the Iraq war, not just one. He’s manipulative and devious, always with the image of “pride of America” as his number one priority. A sticky character to directly demonize, but that’s politics, right?
Score: 4

TALKING: George W. Bush’s legendary “Mission Accomplished” speech is heard, but only in a few snippets. Greengrass doesn’t give that peculiar moment in a lot of history, possibly because we all know the results.
Score: 5

SIGHTS: The skyline of Baghdad, tragically under fire, makes for a couple of striking moments in city cinematography at the beginning and end of the film. Considering that Green Zone wasn’t shot in Iraq, special effects do an impressive job of dressing up Morocco/Spain as the tumultuous battleground that is Baghdad in 2003. And yes, similar to the Bourne films, the action of the movie is captured with a hyperactive handheld camera. At times the action can be indiscernible, especially when certain scenes do not have much lighting.
Score: 6

SOUNDS: Suitable to the atmosphere of which the not-so-peaceful Green Zone takes place,
the chaos is very loud, from sporadic gunfire, to the various vehicles, and especially the people. An intense score that uses explosive timpanis supports this sound assault. With all of this combined, you have numerous shots of adrenaline for your ears – not to mention a lazy sound mixer’s nightmare.
Score: 5

OVERALL

Thinking less like the Bourne movies and more like Greengrass’ United 93, this is a film that doesn’t make its audience ask themselves “Why did this event happen?” but instead, “Why, exactly, was this movie made?” Green Zone is a simple story built around the thrill of watching a soldier in harm’s way begin to piece together some suspicions over the questionable existence of weapons of mass destruction. But since we know what the answer is, we only have the excitement of watching an American soldier kick ass in the name of justice, which is provided in only a couple of truly enthralling action sequences. Still, since we are aware of the end result of his heroism, we spend much of the time simply waiting for him, and this film, to get with the times.

FINAL SCORE: 5/10

Remember Me

Morrow McLaughlin — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:00:23 +0000

Remember Me

Directed by: Allen Coulter
Cast: Robert Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin, Pierce Brosnan, Chris Cooper
Running Time: 1 hr 53 mins
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: March 12, 2010

PLOT: Years after the death of his older brother, Tyler Hawkins (Pattinson) has lost all motivation to actively participate in his own life. One night, Tyler is arrested for a bar fight by Sgt. Neil Craig (Cooper) and in order to get back at the cop, Tyler decides to romance Craig’s daughter, Ally (Ravin). That summation is as close as I can come to encapsulating this movie, which is surprisingly complex.

WHO’S IT FOR? Of course all those RPatz freaks out there will flock to see the movie just to reaffirm what they already knew: he can actually act outside of Twilight. But Remember Me is so artistic in its graceful melancholy, that the film should also appeal to “serious” film connoisseurs.

EXPECTATIONS: Looowwwwww. I hadn’t seen a preview, and the one clip I saw showed Pattinson mumbling incoherently at Ravin. I thought it was going to be a dire mistake sending me to see this movie, when I tend to think Pattinson is far lovelier than talented and I’d rather watch dinosaurs pouncing on tourists, anyway.

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Robert Pattinson as Tyler Hawkins: If Robert Pattinson continues to pick roles like the tortured Tyler Hawkins, he’s going to go the way of Leonardo Di Caprio and Johnny Depp. He will break free from his teen heartthrob shackles and shock the sh*t out of all his critics. His rabid fans should rejoice, because Pattinson is fantastic in this role. The character is dealing with so much grief and anger, but very little is said about those feelings–Pattinson has to relay those emotions, otherwise show and not tell, which he does with aplomb. It should really mean something that I’m scoring him this high, because I went in there with every intention of rolling my eyes at him the entire time. I think he’s stilted and daffy in interviews and my general view was that he was little more than another pretty face. I’m not giving up that opinion entirely, but I’m willing to concede that I could be wrong. I really look forward to his next foray into drama.
Score: 9

Emilie de Ravin as Ally Craig: Holy crap, Ravin was badly, BADLY miscast in this film. She manages to conceal her heavy Australian accent, but her attempts at a New York inflection oscillate between mildly embarrassing and downright uncomfortable. She’s not a bad actress by any means, but she should have never set foot on Remember Me. Here’s the deal: she’s the only weak link in a film that is otherwise pretty spectacular, which just reinforces her sore-thumbishness.
Score: 5

Pierce Brosnan as Charles Hawkins: I’ve never seen Brosnan take on a character like Charles Hawkins, who is as caring and lovable as a marble statue. At first it was disconcerting to see someone who is normally so congenial, behaving like a bloodless legal shark…but I soon got over that. He can’t quite shake his usual persona, but he doesn’t let that slow him down or even faze him a little bit. I have to say I LOVED Brosnan in this role. He was especially exceptional in the scene in the boardroom between he and Pattinson.
Score: 9

Chris Cooper as Sgt. Neil Craig: Normally, I’m a huge Chris Cooper fan, but he sort of disappears in Remember Me. The character itself doesn’t physically vanish; he just doesn’t really stand out the way Cooper usually does. Sgt. Neil Craig isn’t as developed as everyone else and Cooper doesn’t really seem to whole-heartedly step into Craig’s shoes. My biggest complaint with Craig has to do with a wasted opportunity at the end of the film, which would have not only made sense but it would’ve given Cooper a chance to really shine.
Score: 7

TALKING: The writing is phenomenal. Tyler’s best friend, Aidan (Tate Ellington) is incredibly funny in a very original and surprising way; and all of Tyler’s inner thoughts to his brother are perfectly constructed. The film could very easily stray into sugary melodrama, but it never does. This script was its own wonderful, separate, living entity when most scripts exist more perfunctorily.
Score: 10

SIGHTS: Gorgeously done. The opening scene is so stark and so brutal and it definitely sets the pace. The film making and editing are beautiful and very original. Nothing ever feels recycled or chosen because it was the easiest way to go.
Score: 10

SOUNDS: The variation of the same, sad, ponderous piano music plays throughout Remember Me. Fortunately, it’s pretty and appropriate, but it does get a wee bit repetitive. It’s especially effective at the climax in the way it builds slowly on itself until you are filled with dread.
Score: 8

OVERALL

Remember Me is beautiful and bittersweet and I can’t emphasize enough how much I detest bittersweet. It leaves me feeling poisoned for days and I still haven’t completely gotten this film out of my system. I do enjoy reviewing movies, but I very consciously stick to non-threatening comedies, creature features, and horror movies–in other words, pure pretend. I LIKE pretending, because the real world can be such a tragic, violent place. And the story behind Remember Me is so unbearable to me that to have it portrayed with such sad, beautiful class was actually painful.

Normally, Bayer goes to all the big releases and he should have had Remember Me. What makes it so much worse is that I went in all sarcastic and smug, ready to rail on yet another manipulative Hollywood Kabuki. That’s what I get for wandering away from my number one, personal movie law: If it could happen and it’s not about triumph, avoid it like Malaria.

Remember Me hit too close to home for me. It doesn’t intentionally poke at raw nerves in an effort to get you to respond in a certain way, but it does have the ability to point out those nerves. Depending on what you’ve lived through and what you’ve experienced, Remember Me could be a very painful experience. For me, it was deeply troubling, but at least the RPatz fans got to take me down a notch or six.

And now I’m going to take my jug of ice cream and get back into bed.

FINAL SCORE: 9/10

She’s Out of My League

Nick Allen — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:59:36 +0000

She’s Out of My League

Directed by: Jim Field Smith
Cast: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, T.J. Miller, Mike Vogel, Nate Torrence
Running Time: 1 hr 44 mins
Rating: R
Release Date: March 12, 2010

PLOT: The game of love is thrown a curve when a regular looking “5″ named Kirk (Baruchel) is legitimately sought after by a “hard 10″ (Eve).

WHO’S IT FOR?: This tale of “beauty and the geek” is primarily for those kinds of people. While the appeal of an attractive female lead and a (funny) supportive bro-cast may bring in some of the guys, do Joe Jock and his Aeropostale-branded broseidons want to see a dating movie about a skinny loser with insecurities? Those who pigeonhole themselves into being a “5” or lower will likely be empowered by the unusual (yet possible … sorta) quest taken on by Jay Baruchel’s character Kirk.

EXPECTATIONS: Can Baruchel (formerly of Fanboys, Knocked Up, etc.) hold a comedy on his own, or will he need the help of a possibly un-funny supporting cast? Are the common insecurities of the hunting single male being actualized, over-exaggerated, or just softened?

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Jay Baruchel as Kirk: He’s a young Woody Allen without a college degree – a more honest actualization of Hollywood’s version of the “geek,” and one with definite distance from the hipsters like Cera or Eisenberg who are pushed onto us to be real “squares.” Baruchel doesn’t have the dreamy eyes or endearing fragility that those before him in the Young Neurotics League have been defined by. In this movie, he doesn’t seem to be able to deliver a full sentence without spicing it up with the word “uh” or shaking his hands in the air. His awful jokes, usually quips built out of clumsy sarcasm, are very early Woody-esque. Baruchel squints through every awkward interaction – and there are many – with his pride consistently being the punchline in every uncomfortable situation. An insecure guy who works in airport security (how’s that for “clever” writing), the joke’s always on him, but the personality weight is not. How about a few more references to his interests? His motivations in life are clear (or lack thereof) but it concerns me when I can’t tell whether a guy possibly named after Captain Kirk even likes Star Trek.
Score: 7

Alice Eve as Molly: To quote Radiohead, the All-American blonde Molly “floats like a feather in a beautiful world.” A modern-looking Nicole Kidman, she seems to disrupt the entire universe with her smile, and turns all heterosexual males in the world into howling wolfmen (if only their eyes would pop out, Looney Tunes style). But simply because she can disregard the outside for the sake of the inside, Molly is a bit sweet, not to mention patient, especially when Kirk goes off (on himself) concerning the psychology of the rating system, etc. The film presents her as “perfect,” but focuses more on her hotness than her personality (yes, it’s shallow of me to hold that against her, I know), which makes her a bit suspect. She has so much power over any man on the planet, and explains her attraction to Kirk by saying “I can be me.” I still don’t trust her.
Score: 6

T.J. Miller, Mike Vogel, and Nate Torrence as Kirk’s friends: There are a lot of scenes of bro-banter in the film, with the four guys goofing off at the airport workplace. Though not completely individuals, the three work together to create some big laughs, especially when the improbability of Molly’s attraction is brought into question.
Score: 6

TALKING: Reducing the authenticity of the humor slightly, most jokes are built around the film’s snazzy way to detonate an f-bomb. Though still funny, the laughs benefit greatly from the different intonations and contexts the actors can put the word “f**k” into. She’s Out of My League also has a commendable grasp on what is outdated but not stale in American pop culture, with its hilarious open references to movies like Rush Hour, The Day After Tomorrow, and Aladdin.
Score: 7

SIGHTS: Forget Molly’s wardrobe; Pittsburgh looks absolutely stunning in this movie. Zowee! The obligatory dating montages are enhanced by a handful of shots of Pittsburgh’s skyline or other natural sights that are often captured at the beautiful time of dusk. I had no idea the city looked that great.
Score: 7

SOUNDS: Sequences are complimented with very literal usages of familiar pop songs. “She’s So High Above Me” by Tal Bachman and “Over My Head (Cable Car)” by The Fray are played whenever the film needs to remind us of the drastic relationship that Jay Baruchel is somehow getting into, a choice that is disappointingly lazy and might have an emotional effect on ten-year-olds at the most. “Cold Hard Bitch” by Jet is also heard, and of course, it’s playing during a sequence where a “cold bitch” is getting to be hardest to deal with.
Score: 4

OVERALL

When you’re a supposed “5” and he/she’s above you (even surpassing the two-point spread), there are times when you just have to calm down and accept it. In a couple of instances, Kirk’s insecurities can be too frustrating, with his insistence on contemplating the “illogic” of Molly’s attraction to him overtaking the possibility to just … have some fun. But perhaps there is a reason for Kirk’s uncertainty of the relationship – the chemistry isn’t that solid. The pairing is believable, but the film doesn’t support their relationship with the important elements (congruous personalities, again) so much as they are shown to be visual polar opposites. Do Kirk and Molly have anything in common besides hockey and attraction to one another? Oh, wait – the second letters in their names are vowels. Got it.

Still, even if She’s Out of My League is a dating movie with little chemistry, it’s a surprising film bound to have a pleasing short-term relationship with its audience. The dysfunctional family and wacky bros make for a funny back up cast, who literally support Baruchel whenever he lacks the confidence to earn his modern (“romantic”) comedy wings.

FINAL SCORE: 6/10

Our Family Wedding

Morrow McLaughlin — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:58:58 +0000

Our Family Wedding

Directed by: Rick Famuyiwa
Cast: Forest Whitaker, Carlos Mencia, America Ferrera, Lance Gross, Regina King
Running Time: 1 hr 55 min
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: March 12, 2010

PLOT: Completely disregarding how perfect and lovely a couple Lucia (Ferrera) and Marcus (Gross) are together, their respective families clash unnecessarily for comic effect. Is it funny to watch other people implode?…yeah, sometimes.

WHO’S IT FOR? Anyone looking for a mild, cute little comedy who can convince someone else to buy the tickets.

EXPECTATIONS: I was happy to see it, because I had it confused with Death at a Funeral. On a Freudian level, that’s actually pretty funny.

SCORECARD (0-10)

ACTORS:

Forest Whitaker as Brad Boyd: I like Whitaker in funny roles and I wish he’d do them more. He’s normally so intense and serious that it makes it more fun to watch when he finally gets to let his hair down. It’s a bit of a stretch that he’s now the naughty, irresistible playboy, but it doesn’t stand out as a major problem.
Score: 6

Carlos Mencia as Miguel Ramirez: It’s problematic to take someone who is usually and naturally funny on his own, and stick him in a boring role. Why bother if you’re going to shove Mencia into the role of uncool, fuddy-duddy dad? It just comes off as weird and it also puts you in the position of constantly anticipating a funny joke that never actually manifests.
Score: 5

America Ferrera as Lucia Ramirez: I do love America Ferrera and I want good things for her. Since this constitutes an ensemble cast, if the rest of the cast had been stronger, Ferrera would’ve done just fine. Unfortunately, the character isn’t compelling enough on her own to actually take a big step away from the rest of the inane mish-mash. Plus, for whatever insane reason, the scriptwriters gave Lucia a darling, funny little sister–why not make Lucia the darling, funny one?
Score: 6

Lance Gross as Marcus Boyd: This is a really good guy on so many levels that it just makes people’s reactions harder to understand. Gross is handsome and winsome as Lucia’s soul mate and there’s no way (outside of stubborn, outright racism) that her family would continue to be so opposed.
Score: 6

TALKING: It’s not terrible, but what’s problematic is that there are only a few characters who are really engaging. So whenever they’re talking, it’s all fine. As soon as someone less interesting opens their mouth, it’s mostly drab and perfunctory.
Score: 5

SIGHTS: There is some creative editing that adds to the experience, but it’s overwhelmed and dragged under by a riptide of status quo.
Score: 5

SOUNDS: I really liked the score, especially when they juxtaposed mariachi and rap at the party after the ceremony. Watching an eclectic group of people merrily and whole-heartedly getting their dance on always makes me really happy. I’m just so happy that they’re so happy and they’re being PAID to look happy–kudos to them. There was also a great scene that used the rhythm from a drumline to accentuate building tensions.
Score: 7

BEST SCENE: My favorite scene was when the families got together to figure out the seating arrangements. Someone would suggest a possible seating arrangement and then we got to see the potential aftermath of that decision, which was really cute and funny.

ENDING: I think we’ve done the photo album slide-show ending to death. It was phenomenal in The Hangover, because it gave us a glimpse into their wild, obscured evening. Otherwise, unless it’s dirty, strikingly funny, and/or touching, I vote no.

QUESTIONS: This may come off as naive, but who wouldn’t be thrilled for Marcus and Lucia? They are a tremendously adorable couple. Doesn’t it seem a little obsolete to play the culture clash card to such an extreme when things are so different now?

REWATCHABILITY: Not really, although once wasn’t a bad time.

OVERALL

Our Family Wedding could’ve been solidly cute if not for a handful of tragic decisions on the part of the filmmakers. For example, the goat who gets into the viagra and then sexually assaults Carlos Mencia. I could see that being funny if you had some head trauma or you were smokin’ the ganja, or–for best results–a combination of the two, but otherwise it’s too stupid and bizarre. It doesn’t fit with the tone of the rest of the movie, which doesn’t lean at all on gross-out humor. And because that choice wasn’t god-awful enough on its own, they also had the goat come up to Mencia later on and bleat out, “Call me.” REALLY? A talking goat rapist in the midst of a movie that was, up until then, a wacky little comedy about warring families and a wedding?

So, barring the “unfortunate goat incident,” as it will henceforth be called, Our Family Wedding is generally nice; generally nice like that somewhat nondescript person who manages to tell a funny joke here and there, and never means any harm, but will fade from your memory as soon as they leave the room.

Obviously, the formula has been around the block a few times, but it’s always been a funny idea. And for whatever reason, disastrous weddings equal hilarity. The problem is that the filmmakers didn’t go whole hog to avoid major stereotyping (mostly, kind of) and it ended up feeling timid and homogenized. This is tricky: you’re making a movie about an African American man marrying a Mexican American woman in order to illuminate the humorous differences between the two cultures, but at the same time you’re not really comfortable making overt jokes about either culture in an effort to maintain social sensitivity. It’s kind of a wash and, like me, you’ll probably spend the whole time wondering why anyone would object to a perfectly suited couple like Lucia and Marcus. Most people would be thrilled to have such a son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

FINAL SCORE: 6/10

The Art of the Steal

Nick Allen — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:00:56 +0000

The Art of the Steal

Directed by: Don Argott
Running Time: 1 hr 41 mins
Rating: NR
Release Date: March 12, 2010 (Chicago)

PLOT: In 1922, a man by the name of Albert Barnes opened up a small art museum in a Pennsylvania suburb, putting on display his personal collection, which contained 800 paintings, in total thought to be worth around six billion dollars. This documentary tells the story of “the worst art theft since World War II,” as art purists fight to keep the legendary works out of museums more focused on tourism than presentation.

WHO’S IT FOR?: This one is not just for art fans, though they will be simultaneously drooling and mourning the treatment of certain famous art pieces by Matisse, Cezanne, etc. I would recommend this movie to any fan of a great documentary.

EXPECTATIONS: I knew nothing about the film going into it, except for a fellow critic informing me that it was about “stolen paintings.” I assumed he meant men in black masks. I didn’t think he meant suits and ties.

SCORECARD (0-10)

TALKING: A sad but true story with many supporting characters, the film does not focus on one set of individuals. The talking heads, which span from disciples of Barnes to those trying to ruin his vision, all have their own opportunity to show up and add their own personal reflections to the story. A few people found this cause so serious that they even refused to be interviewed.
Score: 7

SIGHTS: Images of various people are shown in a picture book or bulletin board format, with an energetic camera moving from one picture to the next. This avoids the typical “hover around an image in close up” powerpoint-like format that many documentaries lose their fluidity to. The most lasting pictures in the entire film are from those taken inside Barnes’ museum, which offer brief glimpses that really accentuate the art collector’s special vision for his valuables. Fortunately, Barnes himself is able to come alive through a collection of personal camera footage, which frequently involves him playing with his dog.
Score: 8

SOUNDS: The film switches between a unique collection of songs by Philip Glass and a more aggressive bluesy soundtrack, especially when the morality crumbling away in the story hits newer lows.
Score: 7

OVERALL

The Art of the Steal is an intellectually invaluable documentary that is broken into two sections: the first quarter of the film creates a portrait of a fascinating man, Albert Barnes, and the unique way he handled his billion dollar art collection. When he passes on in 1951, a fascinating tug-of-war begins between the wealthy “intellectual scum” and the disciples of Barnes, or as one could argue, the true lovers of art.

Through many back-stabbings in a frustrating turn of events, the compelling story (which can only be sad but true) raises head-scratching issues about art’s value both economically and emotionally. With their beloved creations carted around to worldwide self-serving exhibitions by corporate pimps, have artists like Matisse or Monet become victims of beyond the grave prostitution? Wonderfully, The Art of the Steal tells one of the most complicated stories of true art thievery, and yet still has the gusto to bravely call out the crooks who only see the color green when examining a painting by Seurat or Van Gogh.

FINAL SCORE: 8/10

Best Blockbuster of 2009 – TSR Movie Awards

Jeff Bayer — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:07:56 +0000

Sure, there were some bumps in the road. That can happen from time to time.

Thanks to everyone for voting. This year 195 film fans decided the awards.

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

The Results of the 8th Annual Movie Awards

BEST BLOCKBUSTER (Top 10 at the Box Office in 2009)

8.78 STAR TREK
8.35 UP
7.54 THE HANGOVER
7.42 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
7.20 AVATAR
7.12 SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.94 THE BLIND SIDE
4.27 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON
3.12 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
1.88 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL

Final Thoughts: Those ten films above made the most money at the box office in 2009. We have our lowest score and biggest gap for this year’s TSR Movie Awards. Alvin, Simone, Theodore … I’m looking in your direction. It seems those who actually sat through the Squeakquel weren’t thrilled with the result. Star Trek as the big winner here is a nice surprise. I was convinced Up or Avatar was going to take the top spot. And no, the 195 voters weren’t die-hard Trekkies. I filtered through the other categories and nothing fishy came up. Once we got rid of the twihards, it looks like The Twilight Saga: New Moon fell back to Earth. For movie fans, who don’t care about the novels featuring Bella and Edward, the films just aren’t capturing any excitement. And yes, I do realize there is a strong core of followers, but it’s not leaking into the general public.

COMPLETE RESULTS from the 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

Saddest Movie of 2009 – TSR Movie Awards

Jeff Bayer — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:55:50 +0000

Sure, there were some bumps in the road. That can happen from time to time.

Thanks to everyone for voting. This year 195 film fans decided the awards.

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

The Results of the 8th Annual Movie Awards

SADDEST

7.94 PRECIOUS
7.62 THE MESSENGER
7.48 THE ROAD
7.05 UP
6.50 THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE
6.11 THE LOVELY BONES
5.92 MY SISTER’S KEEPER
5.39 THE BLIND SIDE

Final Thoughts: No film this year truly had a constant pulling of the heartstrings. That’s shown by Precious’ top score not even hitting 8.0. In every one of these films I wanted more tears. Yes, Mo’Nique and Gabourey Sidibe brought the sad, just not the tears. For me, The Road was the most depressing. Actually, it was simply depression – in movie form. Sometimes I just want to be crushed by a film. It never really happened for me this year. I guess it’s back to watching the end of Ruby. Works every time. Though, they are admittedly tears of joy.

COMPLETE RESULTS from the 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards

Here’s the mess … When Twihards Attack (The 8th Annual TSR Movie Awards)

Commentary/rants/thoughts on category winners & losers (this will be complete by March 19)

Ponyo – Blu-ray + DVD combo pack

Megan Lehar — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:47:25 +0000

Blu-ray Review

Ponyo

Directed by: Hayao Miyazaki
Cast: Noah Cyrus, Frankie Jonas, Tina Fey, Liam Neeson
Running Time: 1 hr 45 min
Rating: G
Due Out: March 2, 2010

PLOT: Sosuke (Jonas) finds a goldfish in the cove near his house, but Ponyo (Cyrus) is no ordinary goldfish. She’s the daughter of magical sea creatures and has the ability to change between fish and human form. But despite her interest in life on land, her father is determined to bring her back to the sea.

WHO’S IT FOR? Children will enjoy it, and adults will enjoy it just as much if not more.

MOVIE:

Miyazaki may be the best 2D animator working in the world today. He’s proved it repeatedly with films like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and Nausicaa. This film covers some of his favorite themes, humans and the environment and kids proving their independence. But it’s also very original, telling the story of a good-hearted little boy and the fish-girl he befriends and attempts to protect. But even if the story wasn’t enough, the film just looks gorgeous. On Blu-ray the colors totally pop. I found myself wanting to pause the film and look at the individual frames like a painting. The shots under the sea are especially interesting, with a menagerie of strange sea creatures scuttling and floating through the background. Some moments may be scary for young children, but I think that older kids, especially those interested in anime, will really enjoy it.

MOVIE SCORE: 8/10

EXTRAS

The World of Ghibli – A series of short vignettes about the making of Ponyo as well as some history of Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki. Some of the highlights include the Japanese trailers for Ponyo, one of which plays like a karaoke video and a conversation between animation titans Miyazaki and John Lasseter. The Enter the Lands segment is more an ad for Miyazaki’s other films, but it’s still fun to press all the buttons and play around.

Storyboard Presentation of the Movie – The film plays while the storyboards are presented in the upper right corner of the screen. A great way for animation lovers to get further insight into the creative process.

Meet Ponyo – A short introduction of the film by American producers Frank Marshall and Kathleen Kennedy.

OTHER EXTRAS:

Sneak Peaks – Trailers for other Disney movies.

EXTRAS SCORE: 7/10

OVERALL

I think every film that Miyazaki has directed is worth owning and Ponyo is no exception. But the Blu-ray has more going for it than just the film, the extras are put together with care and do a good job of illustrating the process of making the film. This means they don’t seem to be selling the movie so much as trying to explain the process behind it. I confess, I would have liked a commentary but since Miyazaki doesn’t speak English, that would be difficult. Still worth it.

FINAL SCORE: 8/10

Old Dogs – 3 Disc Blu-ray Combo Pack (Includes DVD + Digital Copy)

Nick Allen — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:44:17 +0000

Blu-ray Review

Old Dogs

Directed by: Walt Becker
Cast: Robin Williams, John Travolta, Seth Green, Kelly Pickler
Running Time: 1 hr 35 mins
Rating: PG
Due Out: March 9, 2010

PLOT: Dan and Charlie (Williams and Travolta) are two business partners who have been best friends for thirty years. Their life is thrown for a curve when they find out that Dan has two twins with “the one who got away” from seven years ago.

WHO’S IT FOR?: Children will be educated in clichés, and adults will get some kicks watching respectable actors subject themselves to thoughtless wacky humor. In modern comedy terms, fun for the whole family!

MOVIE:

The reputations of Travolta and Williams earned from earlier successful works might help create a sort of leeway for the mindless humor that they seem to partake in here so lazily. Were it not for their familiar faces, the vacuous scenarios that these older gentlemen are placed in would be even weaker, and the lameness of the film’s slapstick bonanza would be even more naked. Specifically with flicks like this, we sign up for the familiar faces of Williams and Travolta, not for the extremely absent logic in its story’s events, or the really weak theme of family that attempts to hold said story together. It might be better also if we just forget plausibility exists when trying to swallow the movie’s heavily hunky dory plot elements.

The scenarios can generate a laugh or two out of those who are more patient with the complete emptiness that is such material. Either way, Old Dogs proves even more that family comedy is certainly starved for new ideas.

MOVIE SCORE: 3/10

EXTRAS

Young Dogs Learn Old Tricks – A cutesy Q&A with the two little munchkins asking questions that even babies would facepalm to. The Old Dogs field their inquiries like Santas at the mall who can’t wait to go on a smoke break.

Bloopers – Williams and Travolta get the chance to “goof off” on set, make flubs, or drop something. Not funny, it’s fitting that the last sequence in this extra shows Williams exhaling a deep sigh before dishing out a dinky

Deleted Scenes – These three dropped scenes that were once spared the embarrassment of appearing with the final product of Old Dogs are unearthed for the sake of proving the story’s resistance to humor. You could only hide for so long, Sequence With Asian Stereotypes.

OTHER EXTRAS:

Music Video “Every Little Step” Performed by John Travolta and Ella Bleu Travolta
Music Video “You’ve Been A Friend to Me” Performed by Bryan Adams
Audio Commentary by Director Walt Becker, Producer Andrew Panay, and Writers David Diamond and David Weissman

EXTRAS SCORE: 2/10

OVERALL

The laziness that makes the weak family comedy Old Dogs such a regrettable experience is celebrated by this not-so-super combo pack. There are only three “real” special features (music videos tend to use footage from the movie), and combined they barely total about six or seven minutes. Woof.

There are other movies to consider for family movie night. Ponyo? (Or any Miyazaki for that matter). Perhaps even Where The Wild Things Are? You know what family flick actually made me laugh? Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Wait, did you guys see Up yet? Yes? Well, see it again!

FINAL SCORE: 3/10

‘Robin Hood’ starring Russell Crowe – trailer review

Calhoun Kersten — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:43:46 +0000

Robin Hood

Directed by: Ridley Scott
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: May 14, 2010

TRAILER SCORE: 8/10

MY THOUGHTS: After a myriad of delays, it looks like Ridley Scott’s vision of the legendary Robin Hood is finally ready to hit the screen. I was a little disappointed at the beginning of the trailer to see that it was PG-13. After all, scenes of carnage and bloody warfare are among Ridley Scott’s specialty, but after viewing the trailer, it looks like there might be enough to salvage the movie. Although nothing can replace the Disney version of Robin Hood that I grew up with, my main fear is that this will end up like the disastrous King Arthur which tried to tell the story of the man behind the legend. Still, if anyone can avoid that fate, it’s Ridley Scott. Teaming up with him again is Russell Crowe who will be playing the titular character. While he wouldn’t have been the first person I’d think of to cast, he looks rough and brutish enough for the part. However, the most exciting addition to the cast, for me at least, is Cate Blanchett. I’ve always been a fan, but this take on Maid Marian as anything but the damsel in distress should be interesting to see. Regardless of reviews, I know I’ll find myself sitting through this one, especially after the long-awaited release of a feature trailer.

‘Repo Men’ interviews with Jude Law, Forest Whitaker and Liev Schreiber

Jeff Bayer — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:35:31 +0000

I am jazzed about Repo Men. Sure, there may be a couple of scenes with some bloody organs where I won’t want to be snacking, while watching. Other than that, this action revenge flick looks sure to satisfy.

Don’t take my word for it. Jude Law, Forest Whitaker and Liev Schreiber talk about the film and what interested them in the project.

Repo Men is due out March 19.

Interview with Jude Law, who plays Remy.

1. On his character’s attitude.
2. On his character’s relationship with Jake.
3. On Forest Whitaker.
4. On the artificial organs.

Interview with Forest Whitaker, who plays Jake.

1. On what appealed to him about his character.
2. On Jake and Remy.
3. On the energy of his scenes with Jude Law.

Interview with Liev Schreiber, who plays Frank.

1. On the story.
2. On his character.
3. On his first impression of the script.

‘The Bounty Hunter’ interviews with Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler and Jason Sudeikis

Jeff Bayer — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:29:28 +0000

I’m going to guess that I am in the minority here.

You see, I wasn’t that excited about The Bounty Hunter starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler. The trailer looked flat, and the pairing seemed … painful. But then I found out Jason Sudeikis is involved. Sure, maybe he’s after a paycheck, but maybe it’s a funny movie, or at least funny character.

Plot summary: A bounty hunter learns that his next target is his ex-wife, a reporter working on a murder cover-up. Soon after their reunion, the always-at-odds duo find themselves on a run-for-their-lives adventure.

Here’s the three stars talking about the roles they play in this action comedy.

Gerard Butler

Jennifer Aniston

Jason Sudeikis

TOP 7 Final Thoughts from Oscar Night 2010

Jeff Bayer — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:15:03 +0000

We start the Top 7. You finish the Top 10.

And just like that it’s over. The 82nd Annual Academy Awards have come and gone.

I added up my thoughts on the night, and wouldn’t you know it … I had exactly seven. This is perfect, because we do TOP 7 lists here at The Scorecard Review. So as you can see, fate has brought us all here this morning/afternoon/night. Can you feel the goosebumps? Me too, me too.

It’s been three days since the Oscars, but with our news-cycle it seems like three weeks. I remember a day (I’m only 33) when I had to wait an entire week to get my Entertainment Weekly recap of the awards. So please bear with me, if you’ve moved on to only care about what could possibly happen to Robert Pattinson in a film with the title of Remember Me.

I won’t even refer to the production value of the Oscars in my Top 7 (because I’m going to do that now). The producer of the show should be let go. There were way too many times we were stuck watching famous actors barely react, instead of seeing what was actually going on, on stage. I want to see the stage, not Matt Damon looking mildly interested in what’s happened. Sure, if you catch someone laughing big time, then that’s great. Sure, if they’ve just handed an award to an African American, please show me a shot of Samuel L. Jackson. But otherwise, I want to see the action. Not the reaction. And now onto the Top 7 Final Thoughts from Oscar Night 2010.

7. Kathy Ireland is a train wreck that I need to see more. I have no idea why ABC thought Ireland should be a part of the Oscars. Is she under contract? Did they think … “That insanely hot swimsuit model from 35-year-old men’s childhood dreams would be perfect to talk with Morgan Freeman?” We don’t know. I don’t care. My favorite interview was her chat with Zac Efron. Just watch her right hand in the clip below. Best hand model ever. The four times she says good-bye to him is only topped when she pulls the mic away from him as he’s saying, “and.” She needs to be a sideline reporter for Monday Night Football. Never mind, I can’t wait that long. Get the NBA to hire her now.

6. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin made it look easy. Actually, they made it look too easy. Neil Patrick Harris did the heavy lifting with a musical number that didn’t really have enough humor or pizazz. “The biggest pair since Dolly Parton.” Yeah, I think we need a new big breasted reference. Back to Martin and Baldwin … what was the deal with Baldwin introducing the idea of 10 best picture nominations, and then referring to The Last Station and Invictus? Dam Helen Mirren vs. Dame Helen Mirren. They didn’t take any chances with their humor, and I assume it was their idea to have George Clooney appear grumpy the whole night. That’s a waste of a Clooney. One more note to the producer … why didn’t you tell Baldwin to stop clapping during the opening monologue? Martin & Baldwin were a weak mixed drink. Sure, you’re glad you have something, you just expected more of a kick.

5. That bitch. I use that word sparingly, but when it fits, it fits. Roger Ross Williams had his one chance at an Oscar speech taken away by Elinor Burkett. Music for Prudence won for Best Documentary Short, and Burkett took the stage even though she was removed from the project for more than a year. Her opening line? “Isn’t that just like a man not to let a woman talk?”

Read the full story at Salon.com with interviews from both individuals.

4. I think I like Sandra Bullock. I thought The Proposal was extremely average. All About Steve was god awful. The Blind Side was a good, Hollywoodized version of real life. That doesn’t seem to be the point. I’ve never thought about Bullock before … you know, the real person. And who knows exactly how much we got to know Bullock from her Best Actress acceptance speech, but I feel like I did. I like Sandy. I like that she makes fun of herself and continues to bring up her kiss with Meryl Streep. After all, that kiss was the best part of my awards show (I vote in the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards).

3. Ted Robbins. I love when actors swap stories. The Best Actor and Best Actress categories received an extra bonus (better than last year’s) when a fellow actor (and presumably friend) introduced their nomination. This is a good idea, but then again, it can lead to moments like S.W.A.T. Yes, that’s the insanely forgettable film Colin Farrell referred to when speaking about Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner. Was Farrell the only one there who knew Renner? This also gave us Andy Dufresne talking to Red. Being a friend is getting the other a cup of coffee, can you do that for me Ted? It is Ted isn’t it?

2. The funniest thing from Oscar night wasn’t even part of the show. It was Jimmy Kimmel’s HMC. You don’t know what HMC stands for? That’s the “Handsome Man Club,” and Kimmel’s the president. John Krasinski, Rob Lowe, Taye Diggs, Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey … I feel like we’re missing someone. Oh, there he is, at the very end. Nice.

1. Kathryn Bigelow’s win for Best Director for The Hurt Locker. It’s about time. I didn’t even realize there had only been three other women nominated for Best Director.

Lina Wertmüller – 1976 for Seven Beauties
Jane Campion – 1993 for The Piano
Sofia Coppola – 2003 for Lost in Translation

I look forward to the day when this isn’t a topic that’s even mentioned. I assume we need two more wins for other female directors before we can make this happen. Catherine Hardwicke, I’m looking in your direction.

There’s the Top 7, now what should be in the Top 10?

‘The Runaways’ starring Kristen Stewart – trailer review

Calhoun Kersten — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:08:12 +0000

The Runaways

Directed by: Floria Sigismondi
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Scout Taylor-Compton
Rating: R
Release Date: April 9, 2010

TRAILER SCORE: 4/10

MY THOUGHTS: I admit the names Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart don’t come to mind when discussing any punk group. The movie looks ambitious, I’ll say that much. Dakota Fanning has proven herself at least as a capable actress, but the problem I have is with Kristen Stewart’s casting. It’s just impossible for her to embody Joan Jett for me. These are strong and intense women that they are playing and Kristen Stewart plays too demure for me. Then again, as a punk enthusiast I may be unnecessarily harsh on the casting choice. The trailer itself spends most of its time yelling at its audience about its stunt casting and very little on the plot. I understand that it’s about an all-girl punk group named The Runaways, but a poster could tell me that just as effectively. I watched the trailer because I wanted to see something. I wanted to get an idea of what to expect, but the trailer isn’t really any help there. In short, this trailer is itself a 4, but that’s no judgment on the movie. I’m admittedly curious about the film itself, but if this trailer is your first exposure toThe Runaways, I suggest, well…. running away.