TSR Blog – I Hope They Serve Popcorn In Hell, But At Least In Heaven They Will Show ‘Inglourious Basterds’

If you woke up this morning thinking, “Wow, I wonder what that some other guy has to say about my favorite movies of 2009,” this list may or may not solve your problem. If you were also thinking, “Haha, what loser actually saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?” I have your answer.

LET IT BE KNOWN, ALL:
As of 1/01/10, I have not seen “important” movies like The Lovely Bones, The White Ribbon, The Messenger, Broken Embraces, It’s Complicated, and Dance Flick.

Onto the list:

MOST HONORABLE ROLE FOR NICOLAS “THE CAGEMASTER” CAGE
A mole named “Speckles” who was an actual mole within the G-Force in G-Force

THE BEST MOVING PICTURES ON THE SILVER SCREEN OF 09 (Subject to change, but in order)
Up In The Air
Up
Inglourious Basterds
A Serious Man

YEAH, THAT MOVIE WAS PRETTY TRUCKIN’ GREAT! (In no order)
Nine
Antichrist
Sin Nombre
I Love You, Man
Pirate Radio
The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

PERSONAL FAVORITES
Observe and Report
Funny People
Rudo Y Cursi
Gigante

HARDEST WORKER AWARD. YAY, GO YOU!
Jim Cam’ron’s Avatar

THAT MOVIE WAS A WHOLE LOT OF FUN!
Sherlock Holmes
The Men Who Stare At Goats
Zombieland
Bruno
Dead Snow
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Fast and Furious
My Bloody Valentine
Taken

BEST ATTEMPT AT ADAPTING OF AN UN-FILMABLE GRAPHIC NOVEL
Watchmen

I ENJOYED THESE MOVIES, AND THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE
Whatever Works
Duplicity
He’s Just Not That Into You
Friday the 13th

BEST WORST MOVIE OF 2009
G.I JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA, THE FALL OF LOGIC

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

BEST CHICAGO FILM FESTIVAL MOVIE I CAUGHT
Mary and Max

I SAW SOME GOOD SMART MOVIES!
The September Issue
In The Loop
The Girlfriend Experience
Fish Tank

PROMISING MOVIES CAN STILL BE DISAPPOINTING
Invictus
Public Enemies
Year One
The Soloist
Terminator Salvation

A TAD DISAPPOINTING
Bronson
Chicago Overcoat

THESE WERE PRETTY BAD, BUT THEY TRIED, KIND OF
12 Rounds
I Love You, Beth Cooper

REALLY QUITE AWFULLY TERRIBLE
The Box
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
Old Dogs
Dragonball: Evolution
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
The Final Destination
Paul Blart: Mall Cop

I HOPE THEY SERVE POPCORN IN HELL
I Hate Valentine’s Day
My Life In Ruins – THE WORST!!!
The Ugly Truth
Saw VI
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS:

I REMEMBER LIKING IT, BUT I SAW IT SO LONG AGO I DON’T REMEMBER HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT IT (Tie)
The Hurt Locker
Departures

OVERRATED TO A POINT WHERE I QUESTION WHETHER PEOPLE REALLY UNDERSTAND CLICHES IN COMEDIES
The Hangover

SO GOSHDAMN OVERRATED THAT I STILL FEEL A DISTANCE BETWEEN MYSELF AND THE FANBOY COMMUNITY
District 9

I DIDN’T LIKE/LOVE THIS MOVIE, SO I MUST BE A BAD PERSON (Tie)
Star Trek
Precious

I LEFT THIS MOVIE AND DIDN’T FEEL A THING
Fantastic Mr. Fox

NOT EVEN THE CLIMAX WAS WORTH IT
Obsessed

EEEEEHHHHHHHH (Three way tie)
Anvil! The Story of Anvil
Crank: High Voltage
Defiance